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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The tradwife movement

169 replies

Chocaholick · 11/04/2026 21:49

AIBU to find the ‘tradwife’ movement absolutely horrific?

Essentially it’s a small core of women with deep internalised misogyny, who are making £££ by pretending they don’t work and indoctrinating young women to be ‘submissive’ to men and wait on them hand and foot, while feeding the manosphere and emboldening its members. It uses Christianity to brainwash followers into believing it’s God’s will for husbands to basically treat their wives like servants and ‘lead them’, and imposes a very long list of ‘duties’ on women while all that is expected of men is to work a job (like they wouldn’t be if they were single!).

It seems to be really catching on, even here in the UK.

OP posts:
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5
Muffinmam · 12/04/2026 08:09

horrifiedandunsure · 11/04/2026 21:50

Check out ballerina farm if you want to see modern day slavery dressed up as instagram goals 🤢

I thought people were being unnecessarily mean to her but then I watched how her husband had absolutely destroyed her life and made her into a slave.

ProudAmberTurtle · 12/04/2026 08:10

Number of Christian trad wives in the world who choose in some areas to submit to their husbands: A few thousand

Number of Muslim women in the world who are forced to wholly submit to their husbands: About 600 million

Passaggressfedup · 12/04/2026 08:12

Some women are just spoilt and have a very entitled view of the world. What they want is a rich husband who is happy to take care of his wife and children so that said wife can have a yummy mummy lifestyle, although without the pressure of remaining yummy!

They want the benefits of a man dealing with all the stresses of life whilst they get to have fun mostly but don't want the downfalls that comes with it, ie. a man who makes most of the decisions unilaterally, who wants a trophy wife, and who wants to continue that same lifestyle when she has enough and wants to rid of him.

frozendaisy · 12/04/2026 08:17

CucumberCool · 11/04/2026 22:09

Weren't most 1950s housewives on drugs?

Yep “mummy’s little helper”
swigging Valium with gin

those were the days

Coffeeandbooks88 · 12/04/2026 08:18

underthehawthorntree · 11/04/2026 22:54

I find it so bizarre when people trot her out as an example of Tradwives...she's very clearly a businesswoman and has a wealthy husband and family. The only "trad" stuff she does is have a load of kids and make all her own food. She very openly has a huge team of assistants and staff. There's literally nothing submissive about her life...she just has enough money to be able to potter about making bread in between her multi million pound business and attending events.

The only grim thing was comments from her husband basically that as soon as she was no longer pregnant he wanted her pregnant again.

Fimofriend · 12/04/2026 08:18

GirlWednesday · 11/04/2026 22:01

I suppose it’s a choice. If it appeals to some people then fair enough.

I’ve worked with some young women who have said that they feel as though feminism has done a number on them. They complained that they now feel as though they have to work when really they’d rather be at home spending time with their kids and keeping the house clean.

Obviously it’s good that women have the opportunity to work if that’s what they want to do, but we have to respect that not all women want that.

I recently read somewhere that women in the 1950s were happier than they are now so maybe there’s something in it.

It wouldn’t be for me but I can kind of see the appeal. As long as it’s a choice then there’s no exploitation?

Well, it has been well documented that in the 1950s a lot of housewives popped valium as if it was candy so yes and no. They were less happy without the Valium but with .....

meganorks · 12/04/2026 08:19

Obviously i think its horrendous bullshit. But ultimately it is just about people trying to monetise the Internet. And the easiest way to do that is to be controversial. If you get people arguing online you get more interaction and therefore can make more money. So in terms of you saying its 'catching on', I think mostly it is 'getting attention' rather than young women buying into it.

LifeIsShambolic · 12/04/2026 08:19

greenteaandlimes · 11/04/2026 23:24

THIS
I’m a feminist of course, but even I can see how much feminism has failed and actually betrayed women - we have more demands & expectations on us than ever before in history, and are given less time to be mothers with our children than many of us would like. It’s no real surprise why some women would want to opt out of this wage-slavery-plus-motherhood-household slog. I can certainly see the attraction of being able to focus on my children & home.

I think this hits the nail on the head, whether it is as a result of feminism or capitalism as another poster pointed out.
It is often said women cannot have it all but they can most certainly do it all and I feel that in my (very tired) bones.
I grew up with the expectation that I would naturally get a full time job at 16 and start supporting myself which I did...I am 42 now and apart from two short maternity leaves (6 months and 5 months) I haven't found a way around being a cog in the machine yet.
I work full-time, I have (almost) raised two children (youngest 16 soon) and kept a clean, tidy and well run home for over two decades. I am weary and the health issues are starting to take a toll, if I have a quick Google most are brought on by extended periods of stress or made considerably worse by it.
The idea of pottering around at home, keeping it nice and having dinner ready for the family sounds idyllic!!! Right now if I could sign up to be a trad wife I would quite honestly jump at the chance! No decisions to make (heaven, I am sick of thinking for everyone), keeping house (I do that anyway around full-time work), making healthy, nutritious meals (do that anyway)....it sounds lovely!!! Especially if you are not married to a dick head.
I agree as a movement it is ridiculous, especially the amount of money they earn on social media which is hypocritical and defeats the object but I can see why younger women are attracted to the idea in principle....they have grown up seeing their mothers do everything and are pushing back against that lifestyle in their own way.

Goldenbear · 12/04/2026 08:25

Lucelulu · 11/04/2026 22:29

Statistics I’ve looking at lately suggest that 61percent of women worked in the early 1950’s - not necessarily full time, most part time. They were frequently refused contracts for employment as they were so likely to get pregnant soon

Is this in the UK? Anecdotally, my parents told me only one female relative of the post war generation worked as she was a Landlady of a pub, she was my Great Auntie. My Granny had to give up her job as a Milk delivery person as the men were given the jobs following returning from the war. My other Grandma was probably considered middle class and again had to stop working (to be fair her office job was tied up with the War) when her husband returned home.

2021x · 12/04/2026 08:33

I don't know.. I am quite happy for the women getting paid and for them to keep the money :)

Feminism fought for equal which includes the equal right to be a twat online.

I draw the lines at MLMs though- I think they are toxic as fuck.

Stnam · 12/04/2026 08:38

I have always assumed these women get turned on by having a dominant husband but don't feel it suits the image of tradwife to admit that.

UniquePinkSwan · 12/04/2026 08:41

I don’t care what people do with their own lives

5128gap · 12/04/2026 08:45

Moltencheese · 12/04/2026 07:46

Excellent post

I think trad wife is a luxury belief, almost like cosplaying, because women in the past fought for women to have equal pay, education, the vote, the right to own property, to divorce if necessary, the establishment of refuges and charities, to claim benefits and child maintenance if they do find themselves a single parent, to have access to birth control, for marital rape to be illegal etc. women can choose a trad lifestyle but are not trapped as women in the past could be (and women currently are in oppressive countries) They need to be careful not to discredit these rights or pull the ladder up behind them, just because they’ve found a rich man prepared to keep them in a lifestyle they’re happy to go along with while everything’s going well.

It certainly is a luxury belief.
It takes a particular kind of privilege to believe that the only reason women are struggling to juggle paid jobs with domestics is because feminists lied to them. To believe that if feminism hadnt 'done a number on us' we'd all be able to manage on a single wage and could stay home while our men earned enough to keep us.
Women who imagine the two job family is a lifestyle choice created by feminism, who can't conceive of the idea that women needing to earn money has been the case for lower income and WC women forever; who have the gall to in their ignorance, criticise feminists who have done so much to improve the lives of women who work to eat; who see work as an option affluent women are being pressured to choose...
They are very privileged indeed.

helpfulperson · 12/04/2026 08:47

CucumberCool · 11/04/2026 22:09

Weren't most 1950s housewives on drugs?

Or 'mothers little helper' - gin.

Batmanisaplaceinturkey · 12/04/2026 08:52

One theory is that this movement is being pushed in order to free up the remaining jobs for the men after AI has decimated the jobs market. Removal on the Equality Act promised by Reform will further this aim.

Goldenbear · 12/04/2026 08:53

ApplebyArrows · 12/04/2026 07:46

The mid-twentieth century was an odd time where household appliances had started to significantly reduce household labour, but wider social shifts meant middle-class families could no longer afford to keep servants. This had big effects on the nature of women's work both in the home and out of it.

I get the impression that tradwives tend to be going less for "the 1950s" and more for a sort of romanticised nineteenth century rural America?

As ApplebyArrows highlights, I think of American housewives with this movement. Surely, it's religious credentials really are rooted in white Puritan Christianity. I mean the Puritans left England for religious freedom, they had a literal belief in scripture, the desire for a 'city upon a hill' where only their values and notion of community existed. The Puritans literal belief in scripture meant that men were superior to women as th God of the Bible was male. Women were subordinate beings and expected to serve their husbands but also to behave differentially to all Puritan men.

Batmanisaplaceinturkey · 12/04/2026 08:55

Lots of posters need to stop blaming women (feminism) for the state of play at the moment. It's not feminism that caused high house prices and the cost of living issues ffs.
It's men (capitalism) actually!

Charlize43 · 12/04/2026 08:56

Each to their own.

We live in a society where women have agency to pick their own choices. No one is being forced to be anything. If you want to be a SAHM and you can afford that, you can do that, if you want to be a man hating feminist, you can do that as well, if you want to get frothy over trans issues, you can do that... if you want to be a sex kitten with silicon tits that you love to show off, you can do that as well...

Thousands of women, thousands of choices. Find a life that makes you happy, because you only get to go around once so you might as well try and enjoy it as much as you can.

Chocaholick · 12/04/2026 08:57

Charlize43 · 12/04/2026 08:56

Each to their own.

We live in a society where women have agency to pick their own choices. No one is being forced to be anything. If you want to be a SAHM and you can afford that, you can do that, if you want to be a man hating feminist, you can do that as well, if you want to get frothy over trans issues, you can do that... if you want to be a sex kitten with silicon tits that you love to show off, you can do that as well...

Thousands of women, thousands of choices. Find a life that makes you happy, because you only get to go around once so you might as well try and enjoy it as much as you can.

The whole point here is that they don’t have agency.

This isn’t about ‘stay at home mums’. Re read my OP.

OP posts:
Chocaholick · 12/04/2026 09:00

LifeIsShambolic · 12/04/2026 08:19

I think this hits the nail on the head, whether it is as a result of feminism or capitalism as another poster pointed out.
It is often said women cannot have it all but they can most certainly do it all and I feel that in my (very tired) bones.
I grew up with the expectation that I would naturally get a full time job at 16 and start supporting myself which I did...I am 42 now and apart from two short maternity leaves (6 months and 5 months) I haven't found a way around being a cog in the machine yet.
I work full-time, I have (almost) raised two children (youngest 16 soon) and kept a clean, tidy and well run home for over two decades. I am weary and the health issues are starting to take a toll, if I have a quick Google most are brought on by extended periods of stress or made considerably worse by it.
The idea of pottering around at home, keeping it nice and having dinner ready for the family sounds idyllic!!! Right now if I could sign up to be a trad wife I would quite honestly jump at the chance! No decisions to make (heaven, I am sick of thinking for everyone), keeping house (I do that anyway around full-time work), making healthy, nutritious meals (do that anyway)....it sounds lovely!!! Especially if you are not married to a dick head.
I agree as a movement it is ridiculous, especially the amount of money they earn on social media which is hypocritical and defeats the object but I can see why younger women are attracted to the idea in principle....they have grown up seeing their mothers do everything and are pushing back against that lifestyle in their own way.

But this isn’t about pottering around a house making sourdough (which I spent years doing myself).

It’s about a belief system that actively teaches men are superior and women should ‘submit’ to them, and justified marital rape.

OP posts:
Greenwitchart · 12/04/2026 09:01

It is all social media nonsense anyway. Most of these so called tradwives have wealthy partners, have hired help to look after their kids & home and just pose in front of cameras to develop a brand and get attention....

AngryHerring · 12/04/2026 09:01

I recently read somewhere that women in the 1950s were happier than they are now so maybe there’s something in it.

I'd want to see robust verified stats on that

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/04/2026 09:03

GirlWednesday · 11/04/2026 22:01

I suppose it’s a choice. If it appeals to some people then fair enough.

I’ve worked with some young women who have said that they feel as though feminism has done a number on them. They complained that they now feel as though they have to work when really they’d rather be at home spending time with their kids and keeping the house clean.

Obviously it’s good that women have the opportunity to work if that’s what they want to do, but we have to respect that not all women want that.

I recently read somewhere that women in the 1950s were happier than they are now so maybe there’s something in it.

It wouldn’t be for me but I can kind of see the appeal. As long as it’s a choice then there’s no exploitation?

Feminism gives women the choice to work or stay at home though?

Its capitalism that takes the choice away.

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