To think it's unfair to sell your home to fund care when older while others pay nothing.

[SonnyHoney]

I provide healthcare services to older people, which means I regularly visit care homes. It’s something I find quite upsetting at times. I see individuals who have worked hard all their lives, paid off their mortgages, and are now facing care home fees of around £2,000 a week.

Meanwhile, others are living in the same care homes with their costs largely covered, aside from a contribution from their pension.

I say this as someone from a working-class background and daughter of an immigrant (El salvador) who has had to work incredibly hard to get to where I am financially. I’m also very aware that one day my own parents may have to sell their home to fund their care.
My mum, for example, has run a cleaning business for years, she’s up early every morning and has worked long, physically demanding hours. She hopes to pass something on, but realistically, I feel it will likely be used to cover care costs .

Before anyone says “Why don’t you just care for her yourself and keep the house?” And of course, if I’m in a position to do that, I will. But the reality is that with older age, there can come a point where needs become too complex, and care at home is no longer possible.

Obviously, those who don't have houses to sell need care and have to go to a care home, but my point is it just feels unfair, really.

So do I.

Not at all, I bought them houses outright as a single mother.

Looks like Americans have found the thread and are confused that we want the craphole of their country and culture over here.

So they didn’t work for their assets at all then, did they? So won’t have anything to complain about birth have to sell them to pay for their future care.

Oh dear, you’ve made the terrible terrible mistake of making a shitty comment with reference to another post that’ll get you banned that will
👍

I did not say you were doing it backwards, I said in your explanation of why this isnt possible for you NOW you are working backwards and that I was talking about when people start out. Jesus.

I absolutely would not be able to do this, hats off to you

But that is why I dont have a problem with my parents paying for their care, they can pay someone to do something me and my sibling cannot do. My sibling and I have talked about what we would want to do, home care first, then a care home if needed. No way are our eyes on any money, it would be nice to have an inheritance and I hope I do but a few years of care for both parents would wipe it out I think

I think the poster made the point about caring for your parents becuase of the angst of 'losing the inheritance' some posters have put about. Well if you dont want to lose it (even though that type of phraseology is distasteful to me), then care for your parents yourself. Thats the choice.

Although theres plenty of people doing care where their parents havent got any money anyway because not everyone wants their parents in a care home. I hope we would be able to spot a bad one.

Another idiotic mindset

Not to mention that you may never need care but you may well need home adaptions/choices/services that you will then have spent all the money for and wont be able to access

Well done.

My mother's money ran out and she was able to stay in the same care home. I was told that they may have to move her to a lesser room but that hasn't happened yet.

When written like that perhaps

But perhaps its cruel to leave them able to gas themselves or run out into the traffic. Perhaps the assessment completed didnt identify care needs (often assessments dont until its really bad), so family havent got money to buy a package, no funding coming from SSD

What do people do?

Yes but it’s not a choice for a dementia patient to be in care anymore than it is for a cancer patient to receive care so I don’t think paying for care staff should be their responsability. Why should the infirm elderly be treated dfferently to other sick people? I’d include heating in board which I think it’s fne to pay for. 10000 isnt justfiable imo unless the home is lookng to make a profit which should never have been allowed

Do you know someone who was 95yrs with dementia that they operated on?. Im surprised anyone at 95 can survive an operation

I would be very interested to see an accountancy breakdown of these places. But they're private businesses so I suppose they dont have to

Oh dear, this isn’t gonna end well for you

That wasn’t what the post said that got deleted. You made a personal attack which is against Mum’s net rules as is this one so this will be deleted as well.
Not sure how many strikes you get before you’re out, but I would say you’re close to the wind

Bet the profits are huge too!

I’m guessing that’s aimed at me. Yes. I do. Physically she’s strong as a fucking ox to be honest.

My god it’s so boring when two people just bicker backwards and forwards on a thread.

I know people whose parents were in their 90s, with dementia who had operations.

People seem to think care homes are full of folk who never worked a day in their lives. How likely is that? We are talking about people likely born in the 1930s or 1940s. I’m pretty sure they didn’t leave school to go straight on to benefits in those days. Sickness benefits like DLA/PIP weren’t available then either. So even if people were bone idle they probably worked in some capacity at some point or were supported by a spouse.

Exactly, these posts are bizarre

State funded will cover a whole plethora of people who quite simply may have run out of cash, didnt own a property but had savings that have now dried up, or were carers so couldnt work, or did work and in lower paid jobs that we all take advantage of. Or did have property and it was sold and now are state funded.

This point has been made over and over but its a red herring in the discussion, the discussion is about whether you should pay if you can or not (not in comparison to someone who doesnt pay, thats irrelevant)

And the disparity, which Im still not sure I really get, between care care, hopsital care, nursing care, hospice care, illness, 'condition'. Someone mentioned dementia being a MH illness further up the thread, but its not is it? Its a neurological condition. I think its like brain damage essentially isnt it?

So theres a question, if you have a stroke lets say and that stroke leaves you unable to care for yourself and a care package at home isnt enough to care for you, and you need a home, who pays for that?

And have their family members be pursued for deprivation of assets?

Dementia is terminal
Yes people can life in the community for a bit supported.
But there comes a point when they become a danger to themselves and the people around them.

Someone whos insane would be cared for in a mental hospital. Someone with dementia is expected to pay their own care.
How is that possibly fair.

It would be classed as neglect to leave a 3 year old home alone, but ok to leave an adult with less mental capacity.

Someone who needs taken to the toilet or they'll forget to remove their pants.
Someone who will leave the gas on, forget how to light it?
Someone who will leave the house and not remember their way home - or they think home is the house they lived in as a child - its not there they can't find it.
They might forget where the toilet is in their own house.

Some do become violent with frustration like a toddler.
They have irregular sleep patterns, even a partner living with them can't be awake 24hrs to keep an eye on what they are doing.

They absolutely become a danger to themselves and others.