To be surprised that some people find high levels of saving hard to believe?

[BeMauveMentor]

The thing that surprises me most about money threads on here is that some people seem to find it unbelievable that others can, and do, save quite a lot of money. I’m not sure if it’s because people assume everyone spends roughly in line with their salary, so there isn’t much left over regardless of income or whether it’s just not always obvious how much others might be earning. I suppose if your own circle isn’t very varied in terms of careers and income levels, it’s easy to assume most people are in a similar position.

AIBU to be surprised by that? I really don’t think it’s a normal way to think.

Since I’ve been on here, I’ve been absolutely gobsmacked at the amount of money people have. Good luck to them but, dear heaven, it’s a parallel universe.

So, I don’t find it hard to believe, but it’s astonishing.

What you do need to bear in mind is that the words “incredible” and “unbelievable” do not mean that something is not credible or not believable, in current usage.

People who have had huge family hand outs - not a surprise
Older generation who have had a hugely easier time financially with pensions, house prices and mortgages - not a surprise
Power couple with no kids - not a surprise
Someone in their thirties with kids and no family help - surprise.

No more surprising than people who can't believe every doesn't have six month's salary saved up

I don't personally give much thought to what other people save, but you're right that people only know what they know. Yanbu to think that some people don't have a good hold of other people's savings habits.
Someone's clothes, cars or even house is not necessarily an indicator of wealth. Wealth is different to being rich... Rich people buy objects, but you can accumulate wealth with or without 'nice' objects.

People move in different circles and have differing levels of wealth. Why does it surprise you that others are surprised?

I don’t have a lot by MN standards but when I told my dad I had x amount saved (he was trying to give me money when the washing machine broke) he was shocked. His exact words were “wow you could go on a cracking holiday with that!” He isn’t a saver, never has been. We all have different financial habits.

Sometimes I read about people with extreme amounts in the bank and I do think “wow it’s not like you can take it with you” but I guess they want to leave it to their kids. Personally we will leave them a house and probably some extra money, but when DH and I get older we are gonna spend some of our hard earned money on ourselves.

I’m beginning to be unclear about who is surprised and about what. It seems that the OP is surprised that some people are surprised about whether or not some people do or do not have large amounts of money. There is also surprise about being surprised. I think.

I find it odd that people with high earning fritter money away before saving? What if you lose your job? What good is having a BMW on lease and baylage hair when you’ll lose everything if made redundant. How the hell can you relax?

😂

It’s more the strength of the reaction that surprised me, rather than the fact people have different reference points. It sometimes feels like higher levels of saving are seen as unrealistic rather than just outside someone’s own experience.

I think I get what you mean OP. I think it is much less about the actual numbers than it is differences in mindset, like pp example of her saving and her dad instantly thinking of splurging on a holiday.

If you are one "type", the other doesn't make sense, so you probably assume it doesn't make sense to everyone.

Obviously there is also a layer of lifestyle about it too, as the 'risk assessment' is different if you are in a relationship, living at home, living alone, kids, no kids etc. But overall, it's each person's innate approach to money.

The faux naiveté of people with a lot of savings, who post on here in utter disbelief and shock, that not everyone has got tens of thousands in the bank, is getting fucking boring now.

It's the opposite of the benefit bashing threads, but still as tiresome.

It doesn’t surprise me whatsoever. I’m a saver, it’s just in my nature and it’s not really a choice.

That said, I am surrounded by people who don’t save at all, haven’t even thought about their pension and certainly don’t care that they only contribute 3%, have sofas on finance (as an example) and just generally don’t understand why anyone would bother saving.

I think there’s a happy medium between my own experience and my friends’ experience!

Give one example of that happening, because what we had lately was complete surprise that people don’t have enough money to save , don’t save , or don’t have 10k in savings.

For me, the surprise is when people are earning well and don't bother to save

My best friend is older than me and she's actually getting upset when the inevitable retirement conversations break out. She's 56. She's now saying she can't afford to retire. She has consistently earned loads. Bought her flat for much less than I did. Actually used to take the Mick out of people saving when we were in our 30s.

We went away recently and her suitcase apparently cost £400 - I know everyone saves differently or spends differently, but that is an example her coat is cashmere and I think it was £2000

To her, that's perfectly normal expenditure

She actually got visibly upset when we were out with my family and my siblings were talking about retirement and she practically shouted at us about it - obviously I changed the subject very quickly because I don't want her being upset

but, I don't understand why she didn't save and I don't understand why she didn't take advantage of some of the company pensions she was offer

I'm now very careful not to say anything at all but it's awkward

She has in the past spoken about living as well as you can and to her that means spending money she has all the meals out she wants, all the theatre tickets she wants, all the holidays she wants, all the clothes and beauty treatments she wants

I genuinely worry what's going to happen to her and I think redundancy is quite high risk in her current job

I keep hearing that there's no jobs around in tech but she still feels that she's massively experienced and skilled - well she is but at 56 I'm not sure that's gonna be enough to get another job especially when there is so much competition in tech

PS she actually practically shouted at us "how can anyone be planning retirement at your age?"

I mean, nearly 60 lots of people are planning retirement if they earned good money all their lives

And definitely think how cheap property was when she bought it.

Recently had her kitchen done by one of those big fancy companies

thinks nothing of replacing furniture after a couple of years

I don't get it

Since MNers are constantly going on how hard it is to afford food and basics on 2 £100k plus salaries, surely the rest if us are feeding our children from bin diving let alone saving.

I was raised by hardcore savers and until I went to university genuinely thought depriving yourself of basics like heating multiple rooms in the house was normal! It took me ages to get my head around being able to spend money on anything they would consider an extravagance (I bought a pair of heavily discounted designer sunnies for less than £50 and felt horribly guilty for months!) while my flatmates pissed their student loans up the wall in the first month and then lived on beans for the rest of term.
Had I not had that sort of exposure to different attitudes to money I might have the same approach as some PPs on here who cannot conceive of people approaching money/life differently to them

One thing I’ve learned in life is never underestimate just how much money some people have

I'm more of a saver - even when I had my first earning £14k a year, i used to have £20 a month go into a saving account as soon as I got paid. Then I've upped the amount as I've got paid more - that way you don't notice it. Before you know it you've got a nice amount.

Obviously if you're living on the edge and can barely afford to get by pay check to pay check that's not possible. But when you watch some of those saver tv shows, its amazing what money some people fritter away.

I have family who earn loads of money, but spend it all, with minimal savings. We earn way less but have way more savings. Each to their own I guess.

YABU.
Lots of us are living hand to mouth, lots unfortunately have no savings at all, so of course we will be surprised by "high levels of savings".🙄

I’m surprised that you’re surprised.

My parents lived hand to mouth when we were children, they impressed upon us the importance of regularly saving something, even if it was sixpence a week. (I am old!). I continued doing that, using endowment savings accounts, when they existed. It meant I didn't have to worry too much if an unexpected cost arose.

I’ve always prioritised saving, no matter what salary I’ve been on. I could spend 10K on a holiday but much prefer something cheaper as I know how long it would take me to save this again. I like the security of knowing I could manage for a decent amount of time if I lost my job. I’m a single parent so only have myself to rely on which does make me extra careful. I do understand simply not having enough money to save but I don’t really understand spending 100s a month on the latest car for example if it means you then can’t save.

Good for you, but lots of people haven't had that luxury, and lots more won't.
Bit insensitive.