To be surprised that some people find high levels of saving hard to believe?

[BeMauveMentor]

The thing that surprises me most about money threads on here is that some people seem to find it unbelievable that others can, and do, save quite a lot of money. I’m not sure if it’s because people assume everyone spends roughly in line with their salary, so there isn’t much left over regardless of income or whether it’s just not always obvious how much others might be earning. I suppose if your own circle isn’t very varied in terms of careers and income levels, it’s easy to assume most people are in a similar position.

AIBU to be surprised by that? I really don’t think it’s a normal way to think.

Oh yes, I work with wealthy families and I’m sure most people on here would think I was lying if I talked about numbers

Yep I know a couple of people like this - all on good salaries but absolutely no financial sense.

One actively opted out of a very good final salary pension scheme “as it was dead money”. Renting over buying because they don’t want the hassle. Designer handbags, ridiculous holidays they can’t really afford (and I like to travel, but this is stuff like 5* Maldives, Zermatt etc on “normal” salaries).

One guy is still working in his 70s as he can’t afford to retire, the others are not retirement age but have no assets, no savings and no pension.

edited to add - most of them also work in tech - maybe it’s a dotcom boom thing? People got used to huge amounts of money sloshing around, huge salaries etc. That culture didn’t exactly encourage cautious spending. Plus you mix with VCs with far more money than you will ever have…

I’m ashamed to say this, but part of me thinks “good. Serve them right“.

People overestimate how typical they are in all sorts of things, probably because they interact mostly with others like them.

For finance I also suspect people pretend to be similar to avoid awkwardness.

Yet if you are rich it’s easy to get richer and if poor it’s very hard to, so the reality of things gets spread out while the perception doesn’t.

But yes, I’m also surprised by how people are surprised that others differ from them on here.

How is it insensitive to say that I’ve always saved? Sometimes this has been £10 a month! You have no idea what amounts are involved. I’ve simply stated what I’ve done and why. I’ve made it clear that I understand that people may not have enough money to save. Yes, I could spend 10K on a holiday but I never would as replacing this money would take a long time. I’m making choices based on my circumstances. I am in the position where I have money in the bank for an emergency situation but this has taken me me years and years. I have chased every promotion at work, ensured I’ve gained professional qualifications, worked away from home as it pays more. Don’t claim that I’m being insensitive when you have no idea what it has taken for me to be in this position. There is no bank of mum and dad or inheritance involved. Just sheer hard work and sacrifice. Me and my DD live in a flat as it’s cheaper than a house, we have no garden. I’ve made choices to enable me to be in the position I’m in, don’t knock it.

This is the crux of it
Some people understand and prioritise saving, others dont .

Recent threads show that small, deliberate saving plus interest accumulation can really pay off
Saving is not taught, nor how quickly life can change

But that doesn’t really follow.

I barely ever go to the gym. So it’s not a surprise when I meet people who go way more than me.

I think the thing with this though is that “realistic” is very subjective isn’t it? If you and your husband work for minimum wage, surrounded by friends who work for the same, family who are and have always been the same, high levels of saving aren’t realistic for you nor for anyone you know.

Realistic is totally subjective. We have a good level of savings I would say, it’s realistic for us, it wouldn’t be realistic for someone on half our income though and I totally understand that.

Pp said her DF was surprised she had savings and already mentioned a holiday

Some are savers and some are spenders
If a couple can save £100 pcm they would have nearly 26K in 15 years, if they got £50 each pay rise and saved it then
£150 x 12 ×15 is £29K

Obviously everything is rising in cost but if they have the intention to save then they are half way there , so many dont ever think about saving at all
Ps before the onslaught of YABU starts- on aveerage families waste 1.2 K worth of edible food per year
£100pcm

For a lot of people, their spending is based on their income and increases as their income increases, whether it's spending on things they actually "need" or not. If you don't have "money worries", it's easier to not bother about getting deals, taking advantage of offers, etc. Just because they can afford a new lease car, they do, whether they "need" one or not.

Actually not having money makes you more aware of the "value" of things, helps you decide what's essential and what isn't, and that drives your behaviour for the long term, so even if you start off being "poor" but then become a higher earner, most people would retain the "habit" of being careful with money, not spending unnecessarily, etc.

There's a lot of truth in the old adage of "easy come, easy go".

@Tigerbalmshark

Yep I know a couple of people like this - all on good salaries but absolutely no financial sense.

I've had numerous clients like that over the years, whether on highly paid jobs or highly profitable businesses, and they spend like there's no tomorrow. I often inwardly cringe when I look at their accounts/bank statements to see the outflow of money.

One memorable one is a dentist earning over £100k per year who literally didn't have a penny in savings, not even a private pension, just relying on the NHS and state pensions for his retirement. Money went into his account and a month later it was all gone, rinse and repeat every month. Just literally dozens of payments out, for food, takeaways, clothes, etc. He curtailed his spending on approach to holidays so there was money in the account to pay for the flights and hotels etc, but it was still living month by month. He seemed to think the balance on his account was "spending money" and just spent it. Didn't even have an expensive house or expensive car to go with that kind of income.

Same with small businesses - some just spend like no tomorrow, especially on "image", such as having a brand new pick up truck every year, renting expensive "one man" office in a posh office block, etc. Just no need at all, but again, money in the bank burning a hole in their pocket, so spend just for the sake of it. Trouble is, they were in trouble when business dried up or customers didn't pay etc., as they had no savings and no room for "unforeseen" shocks.

Just relying that their incomes would never dry up and they didn't face unforeseen events with no plan B for what they'd do if things didn't turn out like that as they had no savings.

👏👏👏

100% this
Its about intention , if you have no intention or inclination to save then you wont

Cuts every way. People living hand to mouth are amazed it's possible to save 10s or 100s of thousands.

People on six/seven figures gradually come to see their lifestyles as normal and can't relate to just getting by.

Human brains just are not very sophisticated and tend to see their direct or close experience as the only truth.

I don’t have a TV but was recently away and saw Rich Holiday, Poor Holiday. I can’t be the only person that’s seen that program, so possibly the “surprise“ element is slightly exaggerated. I thought the particular episode that I saw was quite an eye-opener in many respects. Yes, it was surprising how much money the rich family had. They seemed genuinely nice people and they paid for a holiday for the poorer family at the end.

It was quite emotional when the woman on the poor side said that the holiday was costing, I think I’m right in saying, what she earned in a year.

The thing is, it seems to me, that barring extraordinary luck -and I have known people who have had great luck in their work and careers, it’s still the case that money makes money.

I think much of it is lies

Surely most savers probably just keep it quiet.see a few of the posts on this thread about how tactless it is to mention you have savings.

so it’s fine here to say you are broke. But not to say you are not (you’d probably only do so Ona thread about savings anyway)

I don’t think it’s surprising. But I do acknowledge a lot of times this is down to circumstances. And not necessarily those who a realms apart. For example, my husband and his sister (both come from a single mum who was on disability their whole life, raised in a council house)

My husband: Did ok at school but managed to turn it around during a levels to do very well, went to university to become an architect. Married me (middle class, both parents professionals as am I) we did get pregnant young but as I have well off parents they finally supported us and gave us a hefty deposit for our first house meaning we are able to now own a large home and put away around £2500 a month.

His sister: Did better at school but wanted to work as a nursery nurse which she did. Got pregnant at 18 and had our beautiful niece - boyfriend became addicted to drugs and was jailed within a few years. SIL now lives in the same council house as her mum and struggles financially and cannot put away any money.

So I don’t find it surprising as such. My husband and I are well aware that without my parents and their support, we’d be in a very different financial situation.

To add - my husband and I did do financially support SIL and our niece. We wouldn’t callously put money into a savings account whilst they struggled. We take them on holiday yearly, pay any uniform costs, meet any monthly short falls (not a burden)

Really? I think you're kidding yourself. I work with 97 Hight Net Worth Families and that is all around one small town in the south east. They ALL have millions

I think people on here like to think the high earners and high savers are making it up 🤷‍♀️ Why would they? Nobody knows who they are so they don't get the kudos of being wealthy if they are lying, they just get jealous posters saying they're lying!

Personally I am surprised by how many people are being surprised at all ends of the spectrum. But I keepy surprise to myself mostly, whilst secretly being surprised by how many people on MN claim to earn astronomical amounts of money whilst being surprised not everyone else is. Hence my main surprise is surprisingly basic eyebrow raising at the amounts being thrown surprisingly around.

DH is a saver, BIL is a spender. He spends money like his life depends on it. At on point him, his wife and all 3 children had the latest iPhone when it came out because they ‘needed them’.
He earns way more than DH who earns well, but he freaked out when he found out their mother had £7k in savings. £7k for a whole life of working and he thought it was loads. He’s lose his mind if he found out what we have.
We have saved rather than move house, most people I know just move and get bigger and bigger mortgages and have nothing left.

I’ve been gobsmacked at the amount of people talking about salaries, boasting about (or inventing) salaries, and attempts to find out about other people’s savings. Just drop it already.

You do realise it’s anonymous right? DH and I have about £3m invested. Now, what can you do with that info? Nothing.

I disagree. Even the most hard-up people can accept there are some people with huge savings. Conversely, the better-off often struggle to accept that there are people who cannot save because they don’t earn enough to make ends meet. They’ll accuse those people of being profligate and wasting money.

It makes them feel morally superior to think that they’re not poor because they’re not feckless; rather than admit they’ve been lucky to have a good start in life/be born with a good brain/been supported through uni or gifted a house deposit/received an inheritance.

How much savings do you mean?