I am a terrible wife!!!

[ThatLilacLeader]

I am a bad wife and pretty awful person. My husband is really kind and good to me. I am hoping not to get too flamed for this because I’m feeling quite vulnerable - but getting flamed would be totally deserved.

i recently felt an attraction to a friends husband. I would never ever act upon that, but did indulge the feelings, if that makes sense. I feel ridiculous writing this but I even had a chat with chat gpt about some of his behaviours to see if it seemed he was also attracted to me. I know this makes me sound totally weird, but I really need to offload this. I was thinking of him quite a bit, but as I said, would never act on it.

Today, I feel awful. Quite repulsed with myself for the fact that I was even thinking any of this and feel like I have totally betrayed my friend and husband. I feel like I need to come clean, as I keep imagining how my husband would feel if he even read what I wrote on chat gpt. I feel like I don’t deserve him and need to be honest with him about what I’ve done.

I know this is AIBU, but am hoping for some kindness - which I know I don’t deserve. What do I do? Do I tell him? I know feel nothing towards that man but obviously had a moment of madness in my mind. Please help.

No one cares if you “are here.” You being here and human doesn’t mean this comment didn’t come straight from ChatGPT, which any of us could have asked, including OP. Next time, share an original comment or be prepared for people being sick to the back teeth of positive, verging on sycophantic, AI slop. I’d actually be fine with you not being human, as long as you didn’t post such obvious “ChatGPT fake therapist” guff.

You do not need to tell your husband every private thought and fantasy you have. Inside your own mind and imagination you are free. It's your private space. And the only time you cause harm or hurt is if you let what should be inside out, in actions or words. So do not hurt him over something he should never know.

The only thing I'm "judging" you about is using a robot to validate your feelings.

I despair for humanity.

Other than that, you found a guy good looking. What is the big deal or did I miss something?

Well we all get fanny flutters when channing tatum (or take your pick) comes on the tele, we're not dead!

I think you need to think about why you think this is so bad. I imagine your husband isn't the most attractive man in the entire world so there is going to be others you find attractive, completely normal behaviour.
You're not a stepford wife, or amish, or some kind of wife slave...

Delete the chat between you and chat gpt now. Then go and read a book or do some gardening or go for a run and forget about it. Maybe work on filling you’re life with something meaningful/ creative so you are not so vulnerable to these infatuations in the future.

You have done nothing wrong. It’s normal to have attractions to other people. It happens. The important thing is you didn’t do anything about it and you no longer have the attraction. Please do not tell your DH - there really is no need.

The post I quoted is AI bollocks and this is a forum for humans to talk to one another. So please don't flood it with inane AI bollocks.

Also it was terrible 'advice'.

You fancied someone, you had a few fantasies, you saw it was wrong - and that's it. Stop catastrophising.

PS I agree with the AI bot that 'confessing' is about your relieving your feelings, not fixing things

OP I had a mega crush on a work colleague when my mum was unwell last year. I also spoke to chat gpt about it which was helpful in one way but also kind of made it into something bigger in my head than it needed to be.

nothing ever happened between me and the colleague. Both of us are married so nothing ever would. A few smiles to each other and a bit of teasing on his part - that was it. I have not told dh and never will - I didn’t do anything wrong at all.

it’s faded now. Just naturally on its own. Looking back I wish I had not agonised over it so much.

I agree.

You have done nothing wrong. It's normal to have the odd passing fancy, most of us do.

Leave it behind you now, please stop worrying.

You are definitely not a bad wife.

What do you mean you "indulged" your feelings? What exactly have you done? No one would surely be this eaten up with guilt simply for finding someone else attractive, so are you saying that you have done something you're not proud of?

You can have Bob, but I'll fight you for Greg!

Calm. You’ve had some thoughts and let them wash over you. That’s normal and you didn’t act on anything. The end.

Don’t create unnecessary drama by speaking about this. You did nothing wrong.

Do you often have some anxious thoughts like this OP? That’s where I would take this

I assume she means she masturbated while thinking about the crush. There is nothing wrong with doing that in my opinion.

You're being too hard on yourself OP. Your married, not dead from the waist down.

If thoughts were real I'd probably be divorced and I'd almost definitely be doing a long stretch inside 😂

Don’t be daft! Your husband doesn’t come clean to you every time he has a wank. Let it slide.

As soon as I posted, that was my EXACT thought! 😂

If that's what you meant, op, you're doing absolutely fine. At least you're not being a creep like with that poor other poster today whose husband is ogling other women while on holiday and texting his mates about them. Now that is a shit spouse.

I’ll help you fight @ExtraOnions for Greg. No idea how we’ll split him - he’s quite tall, I understand, so I think vertically might be more fair than horizontally.

Don’t offload your guilt onto other people too lighten your load! You have a crush you’re not going to act on, keep it where it should stay, in your head!

I thought you'd left your husband and written a post about it and advertising your products etc?