Social media has ruined my concentration and changed my personality.

[ADHD89]

To think that social media, Instagram, Tiktok, YouTube, Facebook ,Mumsnet , Reddit , Chatgpt, etc have totally ruined my concentration span and now make reading/concentrating on a book or a movie really unappealing and uninteresting ?
I am much more interested in watching 2 minute reels, then reading through comments, and basically finding out about all sorts of topics and going down rabbit holes etc. I also enjoy reading dilemmas on Facebook groups and on mumsnet and seeing what people say. I also use Chatgpt alot as like a regular counsellor.
It makes me sad as I used to be such a book lover when I was younger and I watched about 4 or 5 movies at the weekend when I was younger..its like I've completely changed involuntarily.
Anyone else feel the same?

Same

I'm the same 🤦🏼‍♀️,my ADHD brain is constantly looking for the Dopamine Hit.I hate it and after a period of endless scrolling my brain feels numb so I come off FB/Insta.Yet not long after I'm back on it..I don't post anything on there but just endlessly scroll a load of crap!.As soon as an ad break comes on the TV I pick up my phone and scroll.
I do my own head in!

On the plus side, I've set myself a reading goal and I'm on my 8th book of the year. That's great for me - I'm dyslexic 🙂. I used to read a lot more.

My dc hate reading and won't do it for pleasure. They've been read to from 3 months and have a lot of books, but as tweens, they won't really pick them up voluntarily. I'm sad about it.

Same and it's free!

There is an app called Forest where you give a time period (15 to 120 mins) and choose a virtual tree (bear with me here - not as odd as i am makong it sound!).

If you don't use your phone in that time, the tree is put in your virtual forest. If you do use it, a dead version of that tree is put in your virtual forest. It is surprisingly effective for me as I don't want a forest of dead trees to show I am wasting time on my phone! Good for people like me who do lose time on the phone but are never going to go cold turkey on social media.

Same. I read classic books for hours at a time before smart phones. Even sadder, DH and I get home from work and start scrolling. I hope to train my self out of this soon, it's beyond a joke.

I have the same problem and I've been taking steps to deal with it. I do long distance hiking and also ski to remote huts in the winter and charging the phone is an issue and there's often no service so it means strictly limiting phone use. I'm absolutely fine without scrolling through shite and I'm happier.
But then when I'm at home I find myself sucked into scrolling and watching those fucking reels on facebook. One of the problems is that I do need to be contactable for my business when I'm at home so I'll pick the phone up to check for messages and then start looking at shite. It's wasting my life!
I'm doing a few things to help with this and usually do quite well but sometimes when I'm tired and can't be arsed with anything I end up back in the cycle of doom again.
I have one day a week when the phone is on airplane mode all day, this is either Friday or Saturday which are my days off.
If I'm working from home I open WhatsApp in a browser on the laptop which means I can deal with any incoming messages. No one rings up any more so the phone goes in another room.
I was trying to not use the phone after 6 pm but it's really not manageable because of work, or if I need to use banking apps, or whatever. I absolutely hate that I can't just log on to my internet banking on the laptop anymore and that I have to confirm my log in on the app on the phone, meaning I have to pick the fucking phone up.
As for the reading, I'm getting back into it now. I was really distracted at first and kept picking the phone up, or getting up to get it from another room. I'd see something in the book and then have to look it up immediately and end up down a rabbit hole. However, the more I've stuck to reading and being disciplined about not looking things up, the more I've been enjoying. I've read for 2 hours today without getting distracted. What helped at first was writing down things I wanted to look up in a notebook and then looking them up after reading but now I don't need to do that any more.
Doing a jigsaw puzzle while watching Netflix has helped too because that's better than doom scrolling while watching it and also being more selective about what I watch. I've started building up a DVD collection again and find I'm able to watch a whole film. I feel like I'm less inclined to scroll when I do that rather than when I'm watching Netflix.
25 years ago I used to go to the video shop on a Saturday morning and rent 3 or 4 films and then watch them over the weekend either on my own or with friends and then take them back on Sunday night. I try to recreate that with DVDs.

I can barely remember what life was like before the smartphone and I try hard to remember and then try to incorporate things I used to do then into my weekends.

I was going to suggest this too! I listened to it on a long journey yesterday and it's eye opening.

I have been reading 60+ books a year for the last few years but have read only 12 so far this year so it's also affecting me. I am planning to delete some apps this weekend

I’m just 3 weeks but this guy’s videos are changing my addictive screen -time habits:

The one new habit that had made the biggest difference for me in reducing my screentime is journaling first thing in the morning using a fountain pen and notebook. I know it sounds weird but when I use a fountain pen on paper, like I did as a child, I feel like it genuinely transports me to a long forgotten part of my brain from a time before smart phones/ screen addiction. There’s just something so peaceful about it that allows me to focus, and I enter a weird flow state. It’s also makes the rest of my day calmer as I’ve got the chaos out of my brain and on to the paper.

I also restrict myself to a single news source (the radio). I just accept that any news the morning show didn’t report on, is something I don’t need to know. If I have any questions, I write them in my journal rather than immediately picking up my phone to google it. This simple boundary to reduce the constant information overload has brought me an immense sense of calm and more confidence in my own judgement/ intuition (since I’m not constantly consuming other people’s opinions about things).

It’s not perfect yet but on the days I’ve found myself doom scrolling again, I look back at the pages of my journal I’ve filled, the list of books I have read (I’ve read 4 novels in 2 weeks, yay!) - and it gives me such a sense of personal satisfaction that I have enough motivation to stop scrolling and read a book/ write in my journal instead.

If you do start - give yourself grace. I’m still prone to doom scrolling but I’m finding I enjoy it less and less since I’m increasingly enjoying writing and reading. Still a long way to go but happy with the progress so far.

My son does this because of his university work. He says it works. I've got back into reading because I do put the phone down now. DH watches sports so I pick up my kindle. It's taken a while to get the balance right. But I read in bed every night now and in the evenings. It's TV I have trouble concentrating on

Per pp I also have a Brick. I use it to block TikTok and Instagram, and also have it set to disable all my work apps from 6pm until 7am. I do read on Kindle which is obviously still a screen, but I manage to keep off social media late at night at least, which is something.

I was just thinking this today op. I bought a book from the charity shop the other day that I’ve been wanting to read for ages, I started it this afternoon but I can’t fully immerse myself in it, even though I’m already enjoying it, it’s like part of my brain is elsewhere. It’s actually really worrying. I too would rather scroll crap on my phone even though it makes me feel rubbish about myself and the state of the world. It does feel like my brain has been rewired.

my concentration has absolutely worsened in terms of watching tv/film - I'm always 2 screening on my phone at the same time - but strangely doesn't seem to have impacted reading at all - perhaps it's because it's physically impossible to

Try using audible when you physically can't look at a phone at the same time - when you're going for a walk or doing the dishes or whatever. Other than that as people have said, if you can't stop looking at your phone you need to remove it - either short term (getting an old school alarm clock to wake up, leaving the phone downstairs and reading for half an hour in bed), or cold turkey deleting all the apps and getting a dumb phone.

Dopamine detox; I recommend looking it up and this has become a well-established problem @ADHD89 , ESPECIALLY for people with ADHD who are already dopamine-deficient. But the problem is that social media has caused us all slight ADHD; we’re dopamine-addicted. Social media and internet-based “Short Attention Span Theatre” has made us completely dependent on getting small, constant hits of dopamine. A dopamine detox is retraining your brain.

THE GOOD NEWS: There is endless research on brain plasticity, and if people can completely recover from strokes, then you can absolutely recover from social media induced dopamine dysregulation.

Here’s the science on dopamine and ADHD:
www.nature.com/articles/d41586-026-00094-x

Gosh all of this resonates so much with me.
I hate myself for mindlessly scrolling but do it all the time. I’m definitely addicted and it’s getting worse! I think cold turkey is the only way but we need our phones for so much these days I’m not sure it will be possible!

Me too and I’m trying to change it.

Yes me, I had my first child 10 years ago and my latest more recently and my attention span is much worse now compared to then. DH bought me a pile of books and I have barely touched them.

I’m using a paid for blocker to keep me off FB and mumsnet for most of the day (not on anything else thankfully) - I’ve just relaxed it recently as I’ve been ill and bored. But it is quite effective throwing up a lot of barriers (questions) to checking social media. I pick up my phone, think about the hassle of trying to view MN when I don’t have a specific reason to, and I put it down again. If I really need to look something up I’ll push through those questions.

You need a smartphone detox.

detox planning

"watching 2 minute reels, then reading through comments, and basically finding out about all sorts of topics and going down rabbit holes etc. I also enjoy reading dilemmas on Facebook groups and on mumsnet and seeing what people say. I also use Chatgpt alot as like a regular counsellor."

In theory, with Facebook and MN you are interacting with humans at least (though this in increasingly no longer true). But using Chatgpt as a counsellor is the biggest issue here and the one you need to tackle. Of course your brain can change. Digital dependence changed your brain, coming off it will change your brain - it's the same for booze, cigs, drugs, basically anything that's rewiring your dopamine. You need to do all the same things that people with addictions need to do. You have acknowledged that this is not a fulfilling way for you to spend your precious time on this planet. That is step one. It's not just reading books and watching films. You could try drawing/painting/colouring in or doing a jigsaw... you could combine doing these activities with listening to one chapter of an audiobook or to music or to an episode of a book club podcast. Start with bitesize fixed chunks of time that you increase gradually day by day. If you want to do this, then it is perfectly possible.

Delete all accounts, keep your phone upstairs/in a different room and don't allow yourself to search anything other than the task you are on.

I have found in the past few years that I check emails/notifications etc as I shift from one task to another in the way I would once have got up and gone for a burst of fresh air. Then, because it is more accessible, or something pings or an ad pops up that makes me think of searching for something I am wanting to purchase, I am taking "breaks" more and more often.

I used to have a super-charged ability to concentrate and now I can feel the lack of focus. I think if I went cold turkey I could just about regain the lost ground. Perhaps I should ...

But it is a very salient post for modern brains OP: what is happening is quite widespread and rather dangerous I think.

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/superhappy-screen-time-blocker/id6479611902

I’m using this. It’s quite effective for me - it makes me feel a bit fed up trying to go on FB or whatever as it’s so much work. I’m genuinely missing the FB groups I’m on but I still have access if I genuinely need to.

This thread has given me renewed purpose. I’m blocking off MN as soon as I post this :)

You can rebuild the habit of reading OP, all you're really talking about here is having built up a habit of spending time online and your brain has become more wired to want the type of dopamine hit that provides.It wasn't always that way, but a habit was formed and can be un-formed.

I spend a lot (way too much) time scrolling on social media but I also read an awful lot, they aren't mutually exclusive. I read pretty much every day and got through 80 books last year on top of work/life/phone addictions.

Start by reading a chapter a day or logging your reading on an app like storygraph if a digital goal or gamifying it helps.

Um...it's been widely reported in the media.

Well, I for one am having terrible trouble sleeping because I read this thread, resolved to stop lurking and read a book instead, started re-reading Dracula because I remembered it being a bit ridiculous and hammy, and have utterly spooked myself and need the husband to come in so that I can go to sleep. I have never felt this way after watching ten reels about repairing knitting errors.

Same! You said a 2 minute Reel and I shuddered. I couldn’t stay focused on that for two mins. I would be hitting the screen for 2x speed!