To ask to do some washing?

[flowersandfuckinghearts]

Some perspective needed please - a close family member lives in a different country so we’ve come to visit for a week.

We asked today if we could pop a wash on as we’re running out of clothes, only to be told we’re taking advantage and no we can’t pop a wash on.

No problem at all - I’ll go to the launderette down the street then. They then get arsey as we’ve made them feel bad AIBU?

Not at all unreasonable. Perfectly normal to use a family members laundry when staying.

‘Taking advantage’
so you’re allowed a bed, water, heating, electricity, I asssume they provide lots of food too, but laundry powder and a bit of energy is where they draw the line?! Madness.

That’s a very odd reaction.

Did they invite you to stay or did you invite yourselves? Maybe if you invited yourselves they’re annoyed about that? Otherwise I can’t think why they would react like that to a perfectly reasonable request.

That said, unless you have small dc, I can’t imagine needing to do a wash on a one week holiday.

This is the thing, we’ve bought our own food and help with dinner/cleaning up and we were going to do the wash ourselves then hang it out. No involvement from them needed.
It made me feel like I was really taking the piss - we were invited out here too and have used valuable holiday time to come as well.

We have children with us, yes. We only came with hand luggage to keep costs down (which they knew)

Wow!

That's horrible of them.

I'd go to the launderette, subtly break their washing machine without them knowing (take the fuse out of the plug) and never visit the miserable cunts ever again.

They'll have to pay for someone to fix it after you've gone home. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

That is the definition of tight when you have travelled to visit them YANBU.

You’re not being unreasonable at all, I have stayed with family plenty of times and they always offer to pop some bits in the wash whenever I need, I also offer when I have guests.

Very rude. I’d probably do the British thing of smiling and saying nothing through gritted teeth 😬 or I’d go apeshit at them, no scrap that, just a bit of sarcasm.

You’re not going back there again are you?

Most sane and normal people do this. It’s called being a good host.

Omg. Please do this OP! And smile sweetly, faux sympathetic words when they mention it probably after you’ve left.

No, we won’t be coming back. If we ever come back then it’ll be a hotel or AirBnB somewhere close. It’s really soured the whole week actually.

Taking advantage? And then being arsey when you say you'll go to a launderette instead?! They are batshit.

Id go do the washing at the launderette, are you in the position to ho to an Airbnb for the remainder of your time, itd be the mic drop to say something along the lines - as you think we're taking advantage of you by being here, weve organised accomodation, we will be off now and leave you alone you miserable git. Happy days!

I'd be packing my stuff and finding somewhere else to stay... You obviously aren't really welcome.

I would leave
I'm not joking
That's really bizarrely tight and mean

What a dreadful attitude they have. I couldn't imagine refusing anyone that, even a neighbour.

Don't put yoursel out for them again.

I would book early flights and go home early spend the rest of your holiday doing things you like. And not go back ever!

I’m not sure what you’re taking advantage of. Having been there the week, I presume you’re already using the water and the electric 🤩.
I think they’ve got arsey after the conversation because on reflection, they know they’re being ridiculous . They said they’ve been made to feel bad. No one can make us feel bad, more so if we don’t. But they clearly do.
id move on from it, finish the week and as you say, stay elsewhere next time. Maybe a week for all of you together has just been too much for all of you, particularly if you’re not used to being together anyway

Who are these people to you? That is really really odd and unkind behaviour of them. I have an old friend from primary school who moved to the US when we were 11. We are now mid thirties. He comes over to Scotland to travel round it a bit every few years, and always makes time to visit where I am. He comes round for a coffee to do a wash! It has never occurred to me to even question that because of course he does! It’s totally normal. And he isn’t even staying with me! Your family are really unkind.

What relation is it?

I can't imagine inviting anyone to stay and then begrudging them the use of my washing machine. They are definitely being the unreasonable ones. Maybe they have got frustrated and resentful at having people in their space so are looking for any flimsy reason to complain.

This is a bit extreme… and also, this is exactly what you should do, OP.

I can't imagine begrudging a visitor the use of my washing machine and certainly not then being rude about them using the launderette! I can however imagine my SIL doing so 😁and also then getting on the phone telling everyone about my audacity.

When we stay at FIL's, I do a wash pretty much every day! We have two messy kids and DH changes his t-shirt several times a day over there (very hot weather), plus I wash all the towels as I suspect they hang in the bathroom for months until we're there!