To ask to do some washing?

[flowersandfuckinghearts]

Some perspective needed please - a close family member lives in a different country so we’ve come to visit for a week.

We asked today if we could pop a wash on as we’re running out of clothes, only to be told we’re taking advantage and no we can’t pop a wash on.

No problem at all - I’ll go to the launderette down the street then. They then get arsey as we’ve made them feel bad AIBU?

If I am putting a load of washing on, I always ask guests if they have anything to wash.

I am not sure I could stay there after this.

If possible, I'd be leaving their house and either staying elsewhere till your flights, or changing the fights and enjoy the weekend at home.

Unless they have a dead body in their machine or thought you might see old knickers in their utility, its very odd. Do you have babies and they thought you might put soiled nappies/clothes in there? I can't think of any other reason for being so odd about it all.

I'd never have them stay at your place going forward either.

Are you planning to do a full load?

I had a guest who ran the washing machine daily with just the clothes they had worn the previous day!!

That's very odd. For a week's stay I'd happily let a guest put on a wash. I'd see it as part of the deal, like making cups of tea. It's not like a wash even costs that much compared to things like food!
I wouldn't flounce though like some people seem to want

To answer a few questions - these are parents. We were invited to stay and they said at the beginning to make ourselves at home but as the week has gone on I think they have resented the invitation.

we are going home shortly so won’t be looking for somewhere else but it has really made us think about future invitations.

Was planning a full load and I was going to do it from start to finish.

Anyway it’s all done now at the launderette where I had a coffee and a croissant and read my book (actually very peaceful and nice)

Thank you for making me see that I wasn’t asking for the world and not sure they have dead bodies in the laundry room and no pants hanging around as far as I could see.

Wow, your parents got the huff because you wanted to use the washing machine. This is beyond ridiculous.

Don't think I could be arsed to travel all that way in future for this kind of person.

Wow, 100% of 99 votes so far on YANBU.

We always did a load of washing when staying at MiLs if it was more than a few days. She'd also move it on to the line/ dryer when ready if we weren't around when the cycle finished.

They're just being miserly, and it does sour relationships.

How did they think you would have chosen clothes for the duration of the stay?
What did you say in answer to their huff about the launderette?

I keep it quite cheery and kept my real thoughts in my head. Not entirely sure what their problem is.

Im speechless. I’ve always offered to do washing for anyone staying with us, and made it clear that they have full use of our washing machine if they would prefer to do their own. I can see why this would have soured your visit and don’t blame you for not going back.

They sound like tight-fisted twats and I wouldn't bother visiting them again. Why invite people to stay and then make them feel unwelcome?

They sound fucking deranged. Sorry.

Agreed. We're actually staying with the ILs this week and when I got up this morning FIL had put a wash on for us (I'd left a bag of laundry to do in the bathroom as I was going to put it on today) and hung it all up outside to dry. I always ask (out of politeness) but they always say to just treat it as our home too.

Is it your DHs parents OP?

I'm glad you went to the laundrette anyway despite the arsey comments.

If she wasn't dead I would have thought you were staying with my MIL, this was exactly the sort of thing she'd be difficult about. She had a holiday cottage and kept insisting that we went to stay there and "make the most of it". It was a long drive and annual leave is limited so we kept politely refusing but eventually agreed. We ended up setting off a day later than planned as she hadnt finished making a pair of curtains she wanted us to take and put up. Then told us we needed to take our own bedding and towels and not use anything there. Told not to run the washing machine or dishwasher. As soon as we arrived the phone was ringing with a list of jobs - build a flatpack shed, put up a washing line, m stay in all day because someone was coming to read the meter ... some holiday! When we got back and dropped the keys off she said she was "thinking of charging us" for the stay (she was a millionaire). I "jokingly" said she could offset it against our invoice for all the odd jobs we'd done and she sulked but didn't mention it again. When she invited us to use it again we declined!

Some people like the idea of being generous but then resent it almost straight away. It's exhausting.

how did they expect you to wash your clothes ? wave a magic wand ?

My friend was over from NZ last year. She used our machine every couple of days and did my washing as well…absolutely fantastic guest imho

Wow, what a very weird person. I’d be checking into a hotel for the rest of the stay.

It seems an odd thing for hosts to say no to, but then I also think it beyond strange to go and stay somewhere for a week without taking enough clothes.

Yes this!!!!

I learnt the hard way to keep visits short and sweet....otherwise they can turn sour! So much nicer to have independence and be able to up and leave.

That is the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while. Whenever we’ve had visitors stay I always tell them to help themselves to the washing machine and dryer. When my nephew was here I’d ask him if he wanted to throw some things in with our washing as he was travelling light.

When we were in the US we weren’t even staying with my brother but my SIL insisted we bring the washing over as we were on a month long trip. This is what normal families and friends do in my experience!

Suggest to your mother/in-law that she starts her own thread about her CF daughter/IL who had the audacity to ask to use her washing machine. That would be fun.

If I'd been in your shoes I'd have told her that I only ever ask of others what I would willingly do for them.

It was my mum who taught me that after a friend got offended when I asked her to retrieve my coat that I'd left in a pub a few doors down from her house and I was mortified.

You know… most people have their washing machines plugged in somewhere that isn’t easily visible. At about 3am this morning (or if they’re out tomorrow), I would take a little stroll and leave the plug in the socket but pull it out JUST enough that it’s not making a connection. Bonus points if the plug is behind the machine.

Not always strange . They did it to save on check in luggage therefore reduce cost on flight . Makes complete sense . Who would think that the parents would begrudge them the use of their washing machine .