To be nervous

[LetTheSunshine001]

I’m going out the beginning of next month. I’m going to a concert at the o2 with a friend. On the way back for the last leg of the journey, we will separate and get on different trains. She’s okay about this but I’m nervous, I’m literally on my own train for about 10 minutes before I get off and get into my taxi. It will be about 12ish at night and I’m a bit nervous.
has anyone done this before and have they been ok? I’ve watched too many crime programmes to know the possibilities of what could happen 🫣 Aibu to worry?

I've done it a million times, in different cities coming back from concerts. All good.

Your train will probably be full of people coming from the O2 like you and you'll get directly into the safety of a taxi.

You'll be fine, enjoy your concert!

It sounds like you don't usually do this, and so I get that this must be worrying. I have done it lots of times, and it phases me less but there are things you can do to feel better. Move into a busier carriage so you don't feel isolated in a quiet one. Either keep your phone in your hand, or if you are worried about someone snatching it keep your phone in your hand inside your coat pocket. It's only ten minutes, and then you're off, so maybe take a book/magazine to read to keep you occupied and take your mind off it?

In more worried about standing on an empty train platform , for context the train station is shenfield. I’ve never been here before so I’m not sure what it’s like, I’m hoping it’s not dead quiet! I’ll video call husband all the way on the train so that’s not too bad I suppose . No I’m not used to doing it at all I’m not sure I’ll do it again either 🤣

Also worried about being followed off the train or something 🫣🤷🏻‍♀️

Wear good comfy shoes so you don't feel crippled.
Try to sit/stand near another woman or a couple.
Just keep your wits about you but stay relaxed.
Im pretty sure you won't be alone as there will be others doing the same journey. Stay chatting with DH on the phone.

You'll be fine 👍😊

Travelled back late on alone not realising there had been a Big Footy Match.. The atmosphere was electric.. A group of well drunk men insisted I had a seat and were a great source of amusement the entire journey!! Never once felt vulnerable..

Not only have I done late night train travel but I have also walked home at night half way across the city in high heels at least a couple of times a month in my 20s. I am still very much OK. Had an amazing time and won't think twice about using public transport at night.

You are getting off the train and into a taxi. Where do you think someone may follow you? To the taxi rank?
I'd be more concerned about video calling mostly because you might encourage opportunistic phone snatchers and also because you won't be paying attention to your surroundings. Best to do a voice call with one headphone in your ear and a phone zipped in your bag.

I wouldn’t video call your husband as I think it lowers inhibitions and makes you vulnerable to a phone snatch which is a much higher (as in more likely) risk than anything more sinister.

Genuinely I’ve done this hundreds of times. I don’t know the station you mention but at most stations there are at least a few people/couples doing exactly what you are so there will likely be people around.

How old are you?

I imagine it’ll be very busy with lots of people doing the same, rather than just you in an empty train station. I have done similar before and I survived to tell the tale.

I am 33🤣🤣

Shenfield Station is in a very nice area and should be busyish even at that time of night.

Could your parents come and meet you at the station where you split with your friend? If would have done this for my DC as if this is your first concert it will feel a bit new and next time you'll be fine.

The OP is 33, not a 15 year old at her first gig!

Oh dear. Thanks for that information@AgathaHoccleve
Sorry @LetTheSunshine001 I assumed you were a teenager 🤭 You will be fine - out girls were on and off buses,tubes and trains from 11 years old in the day and from 15 at night.

Don’t video call your husband, that would make you more vulnerable and less aware of your surroundings. Call him using headphones and your phone tucked away.
There is a very low chance of anything happening to you. I have travelled and walked around london at all times of night for many decades and never had any trouble. Occasionally a pissed annoying man on a tube but easy to switch carriages. At that time of night the trains are very busy.

This is a disproportionate reaction to an everyday regular situation that most people wouldn’t think twice about. Have you had any therapy for your anxiety?

Yes, I have done this a lot and never had a problem. I have never been to Shenfield though, so cannot tell you anything about that specific station

has anyone done this before and have they been ok?

I flew from the UK to Indonesia via 3 flights in my early 20’s by myself and was fine.

Please, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, do more things alone. Stop being reliant on others. I assume you’re a grown adult. Please get some resilience.

I think you have to look confident even if you're not and be aware of your surroundings! But remember we only hear about the bad things, and rarely hear about all the millions of journeys made by lone women at night. That's what I always try to remember anyway.

Regarding phone and personal belongings safety, I have a little tip if anyone is interested, maybe most of you have done this already.... or you might think I'm daft, who knows, but it works for me.

Obviously use a cross body bag, make sure the bag has an inside zip and a hole in the zip pull for attaching things to. Get a clip key ring and attach your house keys to the zip. I was terrible for mislaying/losing my house keys. Not any more!

Then since our phones are the most essential and precious item in our lives now, a good way to keep them safe is to use one of these - (sorry for long link)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/LICQIC-Stretchy-keychain-Colourful-Keychain/dp/B0DNYXJYS1/ref=sxin_15_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?cv_ct_cx=spiral%2Bkeyrings%2Bstretchy%2Belastic%2Bkeychain%2Bwith%2Bphone%2Battachment&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sr=1-1-fbc3951e-6c4e-4104-85d5-8dff376e781b-spons&aref=lmCN5slu13&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM

Then attach it to this on your phone -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stainless-Phone-Lanyard-Universal-Phone-Strap-Smartphones/dp/B0FS28QNXR/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?sr=8-3-spons&aref=Dt6Gdotej6&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

Then clip the curly wire end to the zip pull inside your bag.

You can stretch it out to use it but it can't A. be lost, or B. be stolen.

I have one for every bag I use! OK then I am daft 😊

Gently, OP, do you not leave the house much or something? Did you genuinely expect hundreds of Mners claim to never have travelled solo on a train for ten minutes after dark?

WTF?! 11 years old?!

I'm intrigued OP. How do you normally have nights out with friends? Do you taxi everywhere and stay very local? No judgment, just kind of amazed that someone would be nervous to travel on a train after a concert in London. Literally tens of thousands of women (including me) do it every night of the week without a thought.

That’s a nice thought but unfortunately that curly wire thingy would snap in a split second if someone tried to snatch it!

Kids in my London neighbourhood (pretty run down and very busy) travel independently from younger than 11.

Absolutely. How do you think children get to school in London?