AIBU to feel upset by a sexualised meme a friend shared?

[Frankie47]

As someone with body dysmorphia I struggle in a lot of ways that others don’t, so please be kind. Male friend shared a link to the attached meme where the joke is that the boy’s teacher was so “hot” that the father cut his son out of the photo. Lots of men had made leery comments on the photo too. Photo is heavily photo shopped but basically woman has large chest, tiny waist and long legs.

I know logically that this is an outdated stereotype, that real life attraction is far more nuanced, that other body types can be attractive and it’s personality that matters. However, my condition over rides my logical brain and now I feel more depressed about being flat chested and nearly fifty.

Please be kind, I just need help to try and get past this and find it funny, I don’t want him to think I don’t have a sense of humour or that I’m prudish. My knee jerk reaction is to say that I wish I had a body like that but this will be dismissed as silly and not really understood. I don’t want to look foolish but these images affect me quite deeply.

It's not funny. It's cringeworthy.

Just tell him in future not to send you crap like that, you're not interested in seeing it. Sorry it made you feel so shit

OP this was an awful thing for him to do and women with figures like that are in the minority. You are not being prudish and I wouldn’t find it funny either. I would just ignore it and really think about whether you want to be friends with this person. Be kind to yourself.

Tell him that jokes like that went out in the 60s.

You’re not prudish. It’s just not funny.
tell him misogyny isn’t your thing thanks

Get new friends. What a sleazy sack of shit. That he thinks this is funny is bad enough, but to advertise it by sharing - yuck!

This joke/meme has been around for years. I’ve also seen the female version with a male with a six pack and bare torso.

Whichever sex you are there are frequently jokes about objectification. Obviously there are way more about women (because misogyny) but unusually, this is one of those things that has historically cut both ways - do you remember the Diet Coke ads?

I don’t think you need to find this meme funny. Regardless of how you feel about your body, you don’t need to laugh at every joke that someone shares. I’m not offended by it personally but it still wouldn’t make me laugh because it’s just a well-worn, lame joke.

Have you had counselling for your dysmorphia? There will always be beautiful women out there - even without ridiculous photo shopping. Only Fans is still rife. We have the pornification of society. Comparison is the thief of joy - even the most beautiful woman will feel less than if she compares herself to others because we are our own worst critics. I am 50 so a similar age to you. It can feel like a tricky point in your life. I’m willing to bet good money that others don’t see you the way you see yourself. You are perfect just as you are and you don’t need to pretend to find a crap joke funny 💐

You're not being unreasonable to be grossed out by the misogynistic, unfunny, objectifying meme.

You are a little unreasonable to worry about your own attractiveness because some gross, neanderthal men were drooling over a misogynistic meme of an unrealistic, exaggerated body type.

It might help to keep in mind that the sorts of men sharing and commenting on those kinds of memes are uncouth, misogynistic, and it really isn't a bonus to be thought 'ideally attractive' by them. Nice, normal men won't comment on those sorts of memes. Besides, whatever those men drool over online, their 'standards' are very different and much broader for what they find attractive in real life.

(Personally, I always remember that between 4-9% of men will admit to having engaged in bestiality at least once, and the shine of being found attractive by them comes right off.)

Thank you for your kind words. Sadly I can’t afford counselling or surgery and yes you’re right, this stuff is everywhere and it’s not easy to deal with sometimes.

You don't need to find it funny. It's just cringe nonsense

Is there a reason you can't just completely ignore it?

(Personally, I always remember that between 4-9% of men will admit to having engaged in bestiality at least once, and the shine of being found attractive by them comes right off.)

What??????????? 😭

To be fair, those would (I imagine) be mostly done in the US, and are older studies, but the stats stayed fairly consistent over the years, so I'm not sure it'd be different now.

I just googled it thanks to remembering an old article I read some years ago about Finland, and in some countries like Finland and Spain (who changed the law in favour of it in 2023), bestiality is still not illegal as long as the animal isn't physically 'harmed' in the process, while Denmark only banned it in 2015, and Hungary and Romania only sometime after 2015 😬

The percentage is low, but it still always makes me think that men's standards for 'attractiveness' are not something I want to measure myself by!!

Yes this, you dont need to male this all about you

I would just have ignored this

Roll your eyes, think FFS and don't engage

Get on with your life

You don’t find it funny because it’s not. I would write “eww” as the comment underneath and tbh someone who shared that would not be a friend I’d be making much time for. It would change my view of them.

Do you think your DH is so good looking he would stand a chance with this fictional woman? I suspect he is lucky and grateful to have you. It's just a joke in poor taste ignore it. If it was real my first thought would be poor little boy that his dad thinks so little of him.

I just need help to try and get past this and find it funny, I don’t want him to think I don’t have a sense of humour or that I’m prudish.
But it isn't funny.
Instead of worrying what he thinks of you, focus on what you think of him.

It looks photoshopped to me.

Look at her upper arm, looks fairly normal, then a very skinny lower arm and the length of her hand 😅

You don’t have to find it funny? I don’t, and I’d happily tell anyone I think it’s pathetic.
You don’t have to react publicly to it at all if you don’t want to.

Oops I've re read your op and see that you know its photoshopped, sorry i should read things more carefully

????

Why do you want to find it funny? It isn’t. It misogynist, juvenile and boring. And so is your friend.Dump him.

Did he share it just with you? That’s weird. If he shared it with a group of people, it’s still weird but maybe he thought people would find it funny.

You’re ok to not find something funny. It’s not a funny meme. You also don’t need to engage with it at all. I’d likely just ignore that if someone sent it to me.

The picture is a lame assed attempt at a joke, your friend is a basic twat. Why would he send you a picture like this, do you often discuss female bodies together, does he know about your dysmorphia?

I'd say you're unreasonable to get upset about a photoshopped picture that's got nothing to do with you.