AIBU for staying in my car when an angry driver confronted me?

[OverthinkerExtrodinaire]

If you were sat in your car in a carpark after finishing your shopping and looked up to see an angry man who was the owner of the car parked directly in front, pink in the face, shouting "your car is touching my car" and asking you to get out of the car. What would you do?

My first reaction was fear.

I knew I hadn't bumped his car because I know I parked up very carefully and I would have noticed if I had touched another car.

When I got back, I was then sat in the car for a minute or two replying to a text, with the car switched off, handbrake on, so it certainly didn't ever veer in to this man's car afterwards either.

I didn't feel there was any reason to get out as I knew there was absolutely no damage or any contact with his car but I recognise this would have been the polite thing to do. At worst, my car must have been very close to his. Which isn't an issue in this kind of carpark as we will both be backing out of our spaces.

The main reason I didn't get out though was because I felt scared. I was on my own and this man looked and sounded angry!

I shouted from inside the car that my car was NOT touching his, and I left. I felt a bit shaky afterwards.

I then wake up to a public post on Facebook group from this man's wife saying "to the lady who bumped into my husband's car in your BRAND NEW car and then weren't kind enough to check for any damage...then drove off swearing at us bla bla blah..." (I said "oh sod off" or something like that, to myself, under my breath, as I drove off...my windows were up... He was obviously good at lipreading....oops! It was very very mild swearing. The sort of thing I'd say if the kids were in the car even. I'm not proud of this but I was just worked up.

Also my car is nowhere near brand new. I feel like that was added for dramatic effect?

I'm not sure why this guy got his wife to post this. There was no damage to his car because no such impact took place. There was not even a speck of damage on my car either BECAUSE IT NEVER TOUCHED HIS!!

Its made me think though... Should I have got out? The only things that stopped me were mainly fear and feeling threatened by this man as a lone woman...and knowing for a fact that my car had not bumped in to his.

Now I'm thinking I handled this badly. And there is now a public post accusing me of bumping into someone's car and making it sound like I left shouting expletives.

I feel so ashamed and upset by it because I'm generally quite a gentle shy person and would never dream of driving off if I had damaged anything..

So AIBU for not leaving the car to check for damage when I feel threatened by a man? Especially in the context of knowing there will be no damage.

Absolutely, no need for him to be so aggressive about it! I probably wouldn’t have got out in your case either.

however it’s unlikely you done any damage so all good! ❤️

People are very quick to flare up. Sometimes calming the situation down by appreciating their concern helps. Had a similar experience and he ended up apologising for swearing. But no harm had been done to the car at all.

I think staying in the car was very sensible and probably the best reaction you could have had to the situation. He was aggressive and you were at a disadvantage, therefore you protected yourself by staying in a safe environment where he couldn't get to you. I don't think it matters whether your car and his car were touching or not - the issue at hand was that an angry man was behaving in a threatening way to a lone woman. You are not required to respond to that behaviour and you are absolutely entitled to get yourself out of there as fast as possible so you feel safe.

More women should learn that they do not need to engage with ridiculous childish men.

Not true. Someone reversed into my car in a supermarket car park recently, scratching the paintwork and driving off. I reported it to the police and they have definitely taken it seriously.

That's interesting.
I always thought they had no jurisdiction in private car parks.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Not getting out and checking when someone is being aggressive is completely reasonable!

I would reply but you have to be a member of the group to see the posts and reply.

So are you a member of the group or not? Your first comment indicates you’re not so you can’t reply but your second comment you said you’re a member of the group

Yes I am but to reply anonymously would be tricky as I'd have to join the group as someone else. Joining the group involved proving you live in the area etc from memory. I don't really fancy going that far just to reply

I wouldn’t have got out, either.

Best would be what happened to a friend of mine, when some furious road-rage idiot started yelling at her through the window.

What he hadn’t realised was that her huge Newfoundland dog had been asleep in the back of her estate car, but the racket woke him up. Up he stood and uttered a very deep, baritone, don’t -mess-with-us! WOOF!

She barely saw the bloke for dust!

If he was shouting and red in the face, you did exactly the right thing. Lock your doors and never leave your car! He could hit you and say ,you had got out and approached him in an aggresive manner. I would have photographed him and his car and reported the matter to the police. Letting the police know that if you have done any damage you were unaware of you would be willing to put it right. Block his wife on FB. Dont engage any further.

Never get out of your car if someone is shouting at you. Unless your life is in danger by staying in the car eg after a crash, then lock the doors, stay inside and call for help

Haha I want a dog even more now!

you weren't there, you don't know what happened.
If there's a problem rhoughof any sort people should keep their temper and keep cool.
That's what's wrong

But he could have parked his car to touch hers so that’s not any proof

I accidentally pulled out in front of a car on a dual carriage way and they went on a frenzy flashing me and trying to get me to pull over - tailing me for several miles. I refused to stop as I had caused no accident whatsoever ,and I was incredibly scared of the angry male driver. I rang the police to report as the behaviour was so unhinged and felt for my safety.

There's just no need. I think some of these people need anger management!!

This, nobody can possibly know whether the car was hit, We've only got one side. We can definitely say it's good to keep your temper though.

You need to make an incident report so theres no allegation of a hit and run. I might have opened my window slightly and informed him I wouldnt get out of the car unless he calmed down. Or called the police then and informed them and waited.

But I wouldnt leave my car if a man was screaming even if I knew I had hit him.

If you knew for a fact that you weren’t touching his car then I don’t know why you wouldn’t get out and show him that you weren’t.

If it was down a dark alleyway then I may not have gotten out but if it was in a carpark then I would have gotten out - either to apologise and swap details or be smug and point out that he was in the wrong.

I once had my car reg called out over the tannoy in Sainsburys asking me to return to my vehicle so rushed out thinking someone must have pranged into me.

I found a very sanctimonious woman who said I’d parked too close to the boot of her brand new car and she wanted me to reverse so she could inspect the damage.

I was close but nowhere near touching so I suggested that she could’ve pulled forward and looked but she was adamant I had to reverse and she wanted us both to inspect the non existent damage.

She was annoying, but elderly and very unthreatening so I complied. In a situation like yours I’d have felt very differently.

Ugh what a fuss over nothing!!
Have these people got nothing going on to get worked up about other than minor parking errors??

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

You were right to stay in the car, you had no idea if this was going to escalate to violence.

Surely you can just post as anonymous?