AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

[Beautifulsiro56]

Males working in my cbildrends nursery- makes me feel so uncomfortable
Why would a male want to work in a nursery? Most nursery abuse cases are men.
Men shouldn't be allowed to work in nurseries? AIBU

The only male relative my kids have been left alone with is their dad.
Some of the points you mention have been covered upthread.

recent case in switzerland too. male worker abused kids in one city, concerns were raised, not enough evidence, police did not do anything. fascinating he was able to find work in another nursery where he continued the abuse - this time they found video evidence. swiss are really into using work references - in most non corporate jobs you need one from your prior workplace so its super worrying that he was able to circumvent this. id never leave my small children to be looked after in a nursery with male workers, based on this ..

Thats not true, in sexual abuse cases the biological father is rare. They have an interest in the childs survival and they look like the father in most cases until puberty.
Once they start to look more like the mother it becomes apparent that step fathers find them attractive. And given its the most searched for pornography many have a keen interest it seems.
But little children are in most danger from strangers who have unsupervised access to them. No interest in the childs survival and perverse nature is not a good mix

Dads abuse children too... that's my entire point. Either everyone is a risk, based on the behaviours of others in their population (male nursery workers, dads, female nursery workers etc) or they aren't.

I suppose we have different appetites for risk.
I see it like a seatbelt in a car.

In sexual abuse cases in the under sevens 2% of the perpetrator, caught obviously
Are the biological fathers and in 58% of those cases there were other factors of risk included including substance abuse and alcohol, alcoholism
So it would be difficult for the mother in that scenario to claim that she wasn’t aware of his issues with the biological father. It would be equally difficult for social services not to be aware.
But statistically 98% of sexual abuse cases are perpetrated by somebody other than the biological father.

We have two male staff at our nursery, i think it's great to show children that men can work in caring professions. You need to challenge your own gender stereotypes.

Could you share where you've found that information?

As an aside I'm not sure blaming mothers for not knowing fathers are likely abusers is fair. Much abuse occurs without warning signs.

Regardless, it doesn't matter if it's 2% or 100% of fathers, the point remains the same. If we're judging all members of a population by the actions of some - then all fathers have to be thought of as a potential risk, surely?

You can just google it
This isn’t new fresh information
in 58% of the cases you can in fact blame the mother because there are other factors involved that would be sufficient for most women to remove the father from the home for drug and alcohol abuse alone without the added sexual abuse of the child

These are the same women who complain their husbsnd won't lift a finger at home and leave their kids sat in their own shit.

So weird.
If you don't want a male nursery worker, you must of course have kids sitting in their own shit! Stands to reason.

I wouldn't like it at all. Call it a mother's instinct...

Nope.
The gender stereotype is that the vast, vast majority of paedophiles are men.
Indeed it is not a stereotype it is the truth.

It is also true that those who have the tendency will naturally gravitate towards jobs that mean they spend a lot of time around children where there is an excuse to touch them intimately.
This should be blindingly obvious.

That's all anybody needs to know.
And it is surely enough to make anybody think, 'Nope, that guy is going nowhere near my child.'

They need to be banned from giving intimate care to children.

Besides which, it is just plain weird that a man - out of all the things he could do for a living for more money- picks this.
This is my personal opinion.

I've said it before, when it comes to this stuff about gender stereotypes can go to heck. I. Don't. Care.

I see that for lack of any actual argument, you're once again just making petty, unfounded personal jabs.

Do you actually have anything of worth to say, or are you only capable of casting aspersions?

You know some men actually love children and enjoy being around them. It's so fucking sad that this is alien to you

It's not alien to me. No man other than my husband, DD's dad, ever provided intimate care for her. And before you start frothing about dads abusing their kids, that's a risk you have take as a mother but you don't have to permit a male nursery worker to change your toddler. If you're happy to, fine. I wasn't.

Male role models in teaching are great.

But babies at nursery are not going to remember who cared for them. It’s a poor argument for subjecting your child to a risk (however small you consider it to be).

No you wont, but the fact that you think men wouldn't choose to be in a caring role means you are also probably married to a man who leaves you to do all the housework and childcare like most of the perpetually exhausted women on this site.

It obviously is but thats ok..lots of people are from.cultures where men do not display caring qualities and therefore it is foreign to them.

Ok. Except I didn't say men couldn't choose to be in a caring role. I am sure some do.

The risk of an RTA is far higher than the risk of SA by a nursery worker. Sometimes we have to learn how to compare numbers.

7 is smaller than 10

10 is bigger than 8

Now you fill in the gaps:

9 is __ than 13

18 is _ than 26.

I agree. But why wouldn't I eliminate as much risk as I can?
Who does it hurt? Male nursery workers?
I am afraid I do not care.

If you wanted to eliminate the risk as much as you could, you wouldnt start with male nursery workers. You'd start much closer to home. Dad is more of a risk than nursery worker. Even though the risk is tiny. It's still bigger than a nursery worker. Your man is still the person most likely to sexually abuse your child. Get him.away from your kid(s).

They are in their 20s now so a bit late.😂

Oh just realised you are a man aren't you @GlovedhandsCecilia?

Looks like you were off the ball there.