AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

[Beautifulsiro56]

Males working in my cbildrends nursery- makes me feel so uncomfortable
Why would a male want to work in a nursery? Most nursery abuse cases are men.
Men shouldn't be allowed to work in nurseries? AIBU

No. I am a Black woman. Not everyone who disagrees with you is a man. Grow up and stop being such a misogynist
.

Fair enough. Many are though. So I like to ask.

I still think your claim that all black men help with childcare and housework seems optimistic.
I think it's rather misogynistic to not allow parents the choice to choose their nursery worker, but you do you.

But the obvious difference is that you know your partner/the father of your child and have the opportunity to see their behaviour over a period of years with and away from your child.

By contrast you have no clue who these nursery workers are or what they are like. You are placing your full trust in whatever vetting process the nursery has done (which obviously wouldn’t flag up anything if they’ve never been caught before) + fleeting interactions at drop off and pick up.

Oh are you back to enlighten us as to which cultures these caring safe men are from?

Cultures where changing a babies nappy isnt seen as inappropriate for a man to do..

Black covers quite a multitude of cultures though, are you able to pinpoint it or is it just all black men? Because I have some statistics on those in terms of marriage and divorce rates and sticking around to raise children?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
come on then answer the question

It obviously is but thats ok..lots of people are from.cultures where men do not display caring qualities and therefore it is foreign to them

"But that's ok" 😂
That's not my culture. Not my father, brothers and husband - all loving, caring men. Hands on dads but not other children.

Hopefully you didnt know your partner when you were a child and they were an adult who is sexually attracted to you.

You have no real idea what your partner does with or to children or what they want to do with children and they are the most likely to abuse your kids.

You knowing them means nothing except that they have better proximity to abuse your kids because of your familiarity with them.

Sure and that's why there are so many women who look just like you complaining that their men do fuck all.

This is really entertaining 🙂
A bit like the MN threads on " how often do you shower?/ change your towels/ wash your hair?

You really are on a sticky wicket there
Tread carefully or you’ll get banned
Again

I really don’t get this. A man who wants to look after children is just a man who wants to look after children in my eyes. Assuming that they have evil intentions is really closed minded. Would you think that of a woman urologist?? A male paediatrician?? It makes no sense to me.

All Black men. I didnt say we have the longest relationships, I said that our men cook and clean because their mothers made sure they can before they were adults.

It’s amazing that you feel qualified to speak on behalf of all of them

I think its women who have only ever been sexually exploited by the men around them from a very young age. They dont know men who didn't try and get sexual gratification from them so they assume all men with opportunity will do the same.

This is rubbish. I have reasons to trust my partner but no reason to trust a rando man just because they’re employed by a nursery.

This is something we discuss in the Black Community a lot. Why are white men so incompetent as husbands and fathers? Why do their wives hate them so much? Why are the wives so downtrodden and exhausted?

What reasons do you know that your partner isnt sexually attracted to children? Has he had opportunity to act on that? Maybe when he has kids, it will provide that opportunity he has never had before.

The community … that’s quite a broad brush
And just to be clear you’re stereotyping white men ? Imagine.

That used to be called racism

Men carry a risk to children that is orders of magnitude greater than women. Bloody google is free. We all know nurseries are underfunded and are forever understaffed. It’s the perfect opportunity for a predator. They can have male primary teachers when the children don’t need intimate care and are more verbal. Until we have proper and rock solid safeguarding I wouldn’t leave an under 5 in the care of a male nursery worker.

Its just what we hear their wives say about them

Men should be allowed to work in nurseries. Men can be good role models for children, and especially for boy children, not all of whom have male role models at home. Men might want to work in nurseries because they enjoy working with children and are good at it.

There are lots of situations where one group of people are more at risk of something, but if it happens it is still an accident that means that person was not properly assessed or supervised and it is that situation that posed/poses risk.

• children aged 1-4 have the global annual highest rate of fatal or life affecting drowning accidents. 1-4 year olds should only be allowed in water for showers to wash them? Or people with 1-4 year olds should be taught to carefully supervise their kids in any water?
• Young males are most often involved in road accidents - males should therefore not be allowed to learn to drive until they are 30?

It gets silly and very restricted for whole groups of people who could either/benefit or others could benefit from them being in certain places/roles just because some do it without proper precautions being taken.

Sorry but this is absolutely batshit. Are you saying you would be more likely to believe that your partner is a paedophile than a stranger? If that is the case, do you allow your partner access to his own children?

Whilst I appreciate some men do abuse their own children my point is that I trust the men in my children’s life for good reason but I have no reason to trust people employed by a nursery because I know nothing about them.

If you truly believe that a DBS check is more reliable than a 20 year relationship do crack on.