AIBU to expect my partner up early for a planned day out?

[Alwaysonone25]

AIBU to expect DP to get up early for a planned day out?
We haven’t had a proper day out together in ages, so we planned one today with DD. She woke at 7am, I got up with her, did breakfast and we played downstairs for a bit. I asked DP to get up so we could all start getting ready.
For context, we do usually share mornings so it’s not like I’m always the one up and he never is.
It’s now 8:45, I’ve come upstairs to get myself and DD sorted, and DP is still in bed snoring.
At this rate we won’t be out of the house until after 10, then it’s an hour to get where we’re going, so it feels like half the day is wasted as we wanted to be back for teatime.
AIBU to be annoyed that just for today, when we had plans, he couldn’t get up when asked so we could make the most of the day?

Go without him

Did you plan a time to leave or just ‘the morning’?

Why do people always suggest this? It’s so unhelpful

Hmmm. Depends for me.
Had you planned a time to leave last night?
Is it somewhere (like a zoo, theme park etc) and you need the full day or is it just somewhere you can rock up anytime and you just wanted to be there early?

Another go without him here. Put your DD first.

Had you agreed a setting off time last night?

I'd expect everyone to be ready for the time we agreed to set off, regardless what time they woke up.

If a time wasn't agreed, and just "we'll go in the morning" then maybe he's thinking its a bit flexible?

I'm someone who likes at least an hour to have a coffee, relax and chill before getting ready to be up and out. Dh can do it in 20 minutes...quick shower and get dressed and hes done.

If we didn't have to be back at teatime for a particular reason, if we got there and was having a great time, I wouldn't cut the day short to be back, I'd just leave the place later than planned and not be back for strict teatime timing

Did you agree a time to leave? Even if it takes an hour to get to where you're going leaving later will still give you plenty of time to spend together before being back for teatime.

It just sounds like crossed wires in relation to how long you're spending at the place you're going and him enjoying the opportunity of a more relaxed start on a bank holiday.

Wake him up and tell you’re leaving in 45 mins
Have tea later.

We’re leaving the house in 30 mins, I’ll be ready though currently drinking tea in bed.

Plans last night were "I'd like us to get up and out early in the morning"

10 is still early though? Many places won't even be open until 9 if it's an attraction you're visiting.

If you had both previously agreed what time you were leaving then UANBU. If you had not, then UABU - a bit. I can understand your frustration but if no time had been agreed there's not that much you can do about it.

An hour there and back doesnt sound much fun for a small child anyway - in my very humble opinion....

Maybe he meant to get up and then genuinely fell back to sleep? Why wouldn’t you just wake him up again and remind him of your plans?

He said this, or you?

Is it you wanting to be up and out early and be back by tea or him? What did he want?

Just wake him up and tell him to get ready, you want to go. No point sitting about annoyed when no time was agreed.

It’s going to take an hour to get there.

with young kids, I’m not sure 10am is early

and let him have the rest of the day to himself in bed?! Not a chance!

I’m not a fan of a loose time arrangement, as it’s subjective. For me, we need to be up at 8, I want to leave by 9 leaves no doubt

This could easily have been avoided by just agreeing an actual time - I want to leave at 10 tomorrow - is that okay with you?

That's pretty vague. You should have been clear on the plan last night itself- we need to leave home by 9.30am. And then decided when each of you would get up, sort whatever tasks are to be done etc. Why didn't you wake him up when you realised he is still sleeping? Like properly ask him to get up.

@Alwaysonone25 is he up yet?

He should be up and about by now. He knew the plan was to leave early and when you have younger kids it is often useful to be out for a day trip earlier. I’d 100% wake him up and tell him you’re leaving in 30 minutes so he needs to get ready. It’s annoying though as he’s got out of getting your daughter ready.

Did he stay up late?

Go tomorrow but plan it today so everyone knows what time they need to be up at.

I prefer to be clearer about an exact time, still a bit vague to say ‘early’.

Early if you’re leaving for work might be 6am, early in this context might be 8am or 10am, it’d still morning.

In any case you can just wake him up and say it’s time to get going, bit passive aggressive to not do anything constructive about it.

Assuming OP is in the UK tomorrow won’t be bank holiday.