AIBU to expect my partner up early for a planned day out?

[Alwaysonone25]

AIBU to expect DP to get up early for a planned day out?
We haven’t had a proper day out together in ages, so we planned one today with DD. She woke at 7am, I got up with her, did breakfast and we played downstairs for a bit. I asked DP to get up so we could all start getting ready.
For context, we do usually share mornings so it’s not like I’m always the one up and he never is.
It’s now 8:45, I’ve come upstairs to get myself and DD sorted, and DP is still in bed snoring.
At this rate we won’t be out of the house until after 10, then it’s an hour to get where we’re going, so it feels like half the day is wasted as we wanted to be back for teatime.
AIBU to be annoyed that just for today, when we had plans, he couldn’t get up when asked so we could make the most of the day?

I need a fixed time agreed the night before. This is more for me than DH! I respond well to fixed arrangements.

You need to specify actual times. "Early in the morning" means different things to different people. This week alone I've said "early in the morning" to refer to a 9am appointment, a 7.30am flight and a 10.30am run. I can't really imagine planning an outing for the following day and then not discussing what time we need to get there and therefore what time we need to leave. And if someone's asleep too late just wake them up!

But what's 'early'? You didn't agree a time, it sounds like you wanted to leave at a certain time, he didn't necessarily agree. It's a bank holiday so most places don't open early, I wouldn't expect to leave before 10ish

If he had got up at 9 they could have been on the road by half past, that's still a lie in.

I said YABU because you didn’t agree on a set time.

If you’re going to be a stickler about leaving times why not be specific? “Let’s get up by 8am and be out the door by 9am”

I am not sure why it is option 1 always to make a big deal out of things. While I am not one for the passive-aggressive "go without him" suggestions, could this really not be settled easily in literally 2 minutes? First of all, there's a lot that we don't know.. Did you go to bed agreeing on a time to wake up? Or was it just something you thought would be a good idea in your head without verbalising it? Did he maybe miss his alarm, has he even set one? If the 7.00 AM plan was just something that made sense in your head but never verbalised, there is no reason to expect him to literally have the same idea as you, randomly. "I'd like to wake up early" is not an exact measurement in time, I am afraid. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about your trip, but maybe he is not as precious of making it in X time, and getting back by tea.
All of this is just to reach my point - Have you tried asking him to wake up? If my wife was still asleep by a time it would make sense for us to get ready and go, I would just nudge her gently, tell her that it would be great if she could wake up so we can set off... And I am 99% sure she'd be like "oh sh-t, forgot my alarm, thanks"... she'd be up, and we'd be off shorty. I wouldn't stew in my frustration in the kitchen while sighing about it all. The energy it takes to huff about it is more than it would take to actually do something. Why is it easier to be frustrated than do something and communicate in less than 2 minutes?

Ive found with men you have to be super specific and bullett point or they just dont seem to get the idea. Glad im single now its draining having to spoon feed them

You told him what you wanted to do? Did he agree?

Why are you assuming husband will be working. Maybe the OP is working and he’s on childcare duty. It doesn’t always fall to the woman. (Doesn’t help with this day out but this kind of sexism is rife).

Did he disagree and offer an alternative plan at the time it was being discussed?

What do you lose by heading off a bit later?

“I’d like” might be the problem . Different priorities

Kids are but not all parents!

Instead of all this "probably this" and "probably that", "him maybe working", "childcare on women's shoulders" and all that usual nonsense that turn arguments way bigger than they should be, why not communicate? Psst, hey, could you wake up so we can go?. Done. No-no..., let's turn this into a competition of who is more incapable and useless, instead.

Mea culpa!

Why didn't you just wake him up. I love to sleep in. If we're going out my DH just comes and says to me time to get up now and I do. Simples.

And let him lie in bed instead of parenting? I expect the DD would be disappointed that daddy wasn't coming too.

I’ve learnt with DH that we agree a time to leave the house. That way no one gets annoyed with the other when we’re ready at different times.

It fell apart because you didn’t plan a time to leave or anything. It was just loosely agreed you’d leave ‘early’ which means different things for different people. Some would think leaving at 10 was early, I’d say 8 is early. You should have pinned it all down to an exact time to get up and leave.