Constant competitive undereating is giving me the rage

[Bettercallsalli]

Family Easter meal and once again ruined by my mother!
After 6 mouthfuls...o im so full. Cutting peas in half...just makes us all that eat nornally on edge.

I don't eat much. I don't comment on what other people eat. I don't expect other people to comment on what I eat.

The people close to me don't disrespect me, they ask me how much I want (if it's a served portion), last time that happened my husband said give her about half a normal portion, she can get more if she wants. Which is exactly right, for me.

BTW cooked peas are disgusting, I do love a raw, freshly podded pea though.

I hope you all sat there with pudding and gave her none

Fat lumps have feelings you know.

Do you? Do you hope that? How strange..presumably she'd be fine...because all she said was she was full....

I have never come across anyone who does the competitive under eating I read about on mumsnet.

I've known people with anorexia, but they've not discussed what they can/can't eat in a competitive way because they're so focused on controlling themselves.

It all sounds really weird.

@Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit

"the pre jab fat lump" you didn't just think that then? 😲

You don’t think cutting a pea in half looks concerning?

Had a friend like this , constantly commented on what others ate and banged on about fat , sugar , salt - then if we ordered food she would say she didn’t want any but eat most of what was delivered

I think the person you are responding to is horrible but I would not know what someone cutting a pea in half looks like because of have the self confidence not to judge myself on what someone else does on the plate.

But can you genuinely not see the difference in your story compared to what the o.p's mum said?

My mums like this..”we ordered a portion of fish and chips to share and it lasted us 3 days!” Meanwhile she’s 4 stones overweight. It’s not adding up 🙄 I can see you, you do know that right? 😂🫣

I always let guests serve themselves. It just seems much more logical and polite than putting food onto a plate for them.

Maybe they're more (or less) hungry than usual that day, for some reason? Maybe there are some parts of the meal that they prefer to others (and their tastes aren't unchangeable)? I wouldn't presume to know exactly what they wanted for any given meal. Plus it just saves time, when there are a lot of different dishes (e.g. for Christmas dinner) to have lots of people serving themselves simultaneously.

It saves people the embarrassment of leaving uneaten food, or forcing themselves to finish a plateful. I now see that it might also offer some protection against performative undereaters.

I'm sure that there are still going to be some people who manage to over-serve themselves, for whatever reason. But at least it's clearly their own problem if they do.

The greatest achievement in my life according to my mother was being born weighing under 5lb and needing to go into special care after being rushed off to be resuscitated.

If I happened to notice a dinner guest was cutting a pea in half, I'd have to watch in fascination, but I'd also have to point and laugh. 😆

No you wouldn't because that would be mad. Surely you would just get on with your life rather than mock someone?

No patience at all
made up she’s lost loads of weight - looks brill, obviously more healthy etc etc

But the rigmarole around undereating pushing food about and the ‘ooh I couldn’t possibly’ lol pushing a small bit of meat/carrot about the plate and shocked others are eating stuffings /potatos/yorkies etc

we all see her lol

Shut that right down.

Next time grab her plate and finish whatever she’s
left.

And everytime thereafter.

share it out amongst the rest of you.

I’d struggle to keep a straight face 😆

I'd point and laugh at your ridiculous censorious behaviour, too. 😆

Splendid, must be a laugh riot at your house just pointing and laughing, good for you

My mum is an absolute horror for this type of behaviour. I grey rock as much as possible and ensure that I take additional snacks and/or am responsible for meals if staying with her. She has all sorts of weird power plays with food, historically her comments were often a way of taking cheap shots at my weight. Ignoring her when she tries that seems to have worked.

Curious to know do competitive under eaters actually have eating disorder tendencies or is it more just attention seeking and using food to one up & gain some strange sense of reward from doing so? W’ever it is it would drive me mad! I hate pple who comment on the food you’re eating too - esp that dull work colleague that seems obsessed with what you bring in or eat for lunch & feel the need to comment on it. So tedious & intrusive. I digress..!

Birds tend to eat a huge amount of food in relation to their body weight. Little birds like sparrows typically eat up to half their own body weight every day.

So a human "eating like a bird" would be really cramming it in.

I had a friend (long story) for dinner today. Offered her a glass of champagne which she accepted but then said ‘oh drunk before lunch’ I thought ‘I cannot be arsed with this already’.

she took tiny portion (fine) I had normal portion of food - then after we’d eaten said ‘we’ll have a break before pudding’ and she said ‘oh I definitely cannot eat pudding’ I’m thinking fine, don’t have any. You’re not a fucking goose I’m about to force feed.
she is tiny - I’m 10’’ taller but not ‘big’ but every time I see her I feel like Hagrid. I’m going to have to say something I think

What would tou say "eat more, "drink more?" Nothing you have said was a direct criticism. Would you rather this so called friend made themselves uncomfortable so you didn't feel it?

Yeah I went off on a tangent but was more in relation to posts about shaming people for eating xyz rather than pea dissecting - I feel suitably embarassed and apologise