Constant competitive undereating is giving me the rage

[Bettercallsalli]

Family Easter meal and once again ruined by my mother!
After 6 mouthfuls...o im so full. Cutting peas in half...just makes us all that eat nornally on edge.

🤣🤣

My mum said that when she was out pushing her pram, EVERYONE approached her exclaiming ‘Ooh, I’ll have to see this baby to believe it!’ That was of course because she had a bump the size of half a tennis ball at 9 months pregnant and was out sweeping the path and cleaning the windows the day before she gave birth. Not sure which of her three pregnancies she was referring to. Probably all of them. I heard this so many times and even more when I was pregnant. I wasn’t even that big, but I was very awkward and ungainly for the last couple of months. Every time I made an ooof sound as I got up from the sofa, the story of her invisible pregnancies was wheeled out😆 Aw she was lovely though in so many ways.

It is SO rude. We had a lovely buffet for a my friend in work leaving to have her baby last week. I filled my plate - few sandwiches, 2 small falafel, tomatoes, spoonful of coleslaw and plenty fruit (melon, grapes, strawberries) & a colleague I don't even know very well commented 'That's some plateful!'. I immediately replied 'It's not, it's just a few sandwiches & bits', she countered with 'Oh, I meant that it was so lovely & colourful'- yeah right!

I'm a normal size & didn't touch the cakes. Why do people think it's okay to comment? I'll be avoiding her at all costs.

My DM and her twin sister were obsessive with weight when we were growing up, she used to get us to follow her diets. I remember being in Y2 and a lunch time supervisor asked me why I only had lettuce in my sandwich and I corrected her that there was a skim of light mayo too. I couldn't understand why she laughed at this and also didn't know where all my class mates got their juice/crisps/chocolate bars from as we never had anything like this. We used to have Slimfast shakes for dinner too.

Next time, if there is a next time, give her a small chunk of salmon, 1/4 of a baby potato, 5 peas cut in half and a teaspoon of cauliflower cheese and reassure her she doesn't have to eat it all as she could take it home for dinner the next day if she wants. If she says anything refer to the dinner you made previously. I'd be annoyed if someone behaved in that manner and I wouldn't cook for them again.

Really? This is the hill you are choosing to die on? 🤣🤣 I’m also slim but I don’t go around obsessing that everyone is ‚triggered’ by slim people. What a load of boll**ks… you are not the centre of the universe and branding others as ‚fatties’ (even if not out loud) shows that you have a disdain for overweight people. Mean streak.

How can this bother you?! I wouldn't give a shit. I'll be happily sat eating and enjoying my lunch and not even noticing what others eat or don't eat. However, are you uncomfortable with your weight? Could it be why this triggers you?

The only thing that gives me food rage is when we have a big family gathering and my niece and nephew greedily take almost all of the strawberries/ bacon etc at breakfast, leaving the other cousins without. They don't even eat them all, just leave them on their plate. Their parents don't notice the selfishness and it riles me up! To the point I've started stepping in now with a stern, "They're for everyone, remember!" Ergh.

This seems to be en vogue now. I know a few morbidly obese women who do it and claim that they have been advised by doctors that they need to eat more, but "just can't". I'm fat too love, you aren't fooling anyone.

Where did you get 2 pieces of salmon from? Did you not actually read what OP wrote was on her DM’s plate? Small piece of salmon, 2 potatoes…

I think it has nothing to do with food and some ppl (or alot of people judging by this and the plane seat thread) just love to be in judgement of others. We could just live and let live, but nope. some people seem to just live for any opportunity to make a sly or shitty comment.

Just ask and you'd get more, it's really not an issue.

Also, if I was actually related to you I would know you like a big pile of meat and give you one wouldn't I?

Just ask and you'd get more, it's really not an issue.
well it is an issue if you’d ask for more…. And get the dramatic, panicked/cold Paddington stare “well I only made enough for everyone at the meal.. I never expected people to keep eating..”

Yet clearly you've given enough of a fuck to engage with me over several posts and are getting quite arsey here. It's fun to observe. I didn't mention shit hosting or starving, incidentally. Not used those phrases in this thread. You need to work out which poster you're actually addressing.

And you say nobody is assessing guests nutritional needs when hosting, but you've posted about men's need for more several times now. This has been in relation to points made about wider society, not just your relatives. So you are doing it, but doing a shit job of it because you're being so selective.

Also, I haven't provided any research about why women eat less meat because it's not a point I've made. It's not something I need to prove when I'm talking about why people who make a big fuss about men needing more calories don't make the same fuss about women needing more iron, because of double standards. You're proving that point more beautifully for me with every post you make though, so thank you for that.

I had pearl clutching when the final portion (sliver) of pudding was offered. It was clear it wasn’t intended for a woman!

This thread has been illuminating as my mother was v like the women PP’s describe of the 70’s & I always thought it was just her.
Hers wasn’t performative undereating but definitely the repressed hang up from yrs of patriarchal conditioning that would leak out at times when puddings or anything with sugar was introduced. I got so sick of it I’d order her her own dessert bcos she’d only protest similarly about how naughty it was to be eating chocolate or cake, & also how somehow shameful & dangerous it was at the same time. But then devour my serving & be almost scraping the plate for any last morsel! She used to protest at me ordering her own portion for her despite protests not to, as though this was a crime against humanity! And yet devour it the minute it hit the table.

She didn’t do it as competitively or as pervasively as OP’s & some other PP’s so I was rlly spared that.

But till this thread I hadn’t seen it as a symptom of the misogyny & tyranny of womens’s bodies per the patriarchy. And of the moral failing, shaming & blaming of the sin of gluttony.

Thats the one I’d rlly not considered before. Bcos the religious mash up to control society’s good girls really did mean being overweight was considered a mortal, shameful, affront to society & the world, sin. Poor mum. I used to just think she had mild shades of an eating disorder. This thread has been an eye opener. Thanks @ @Bettercallsalli

It’s made me hungry reading this.

Good grief. It's like playing chess with a pigeon. Your first post to me was that the women aren't finishing their meals because I got their ratios of items wrong, not because they were full. You've also thrown your lot on with the salty poster who keeps going on about shit hosting. So yes, you have made it clear you think the hosting is shit. Not that I care, because my family happily eat it and just ask for more if they want it, they never do and we eat what's left the day after like normal people. It is ok for people to just eat what they like without it being misogyny or oppression you know.

I definitely, absolutely, do not give a fuck about women needing more iron or whatever when I am serving a single meal, I only care if they are full or not and if they enjoy it. Their overall health needs are for them to manage. You are the one obsessed with iron levels and keep insisting the patriarchy is making women anaemic because they are too ashamed to dare to take an equal amount of meat to the men. I call bullshit and you're going to have to prove that women are anaemic because of the patriarchy and not just because they fucking love potatoes and don't really care for roast beef. That is on you to prove because that is your claim.

My claim, that men eat more than women is a simple scientific fact everyone knows as it's written on every food packet in the country. The fact that women eat less meat is also true and widely known. You are simply arguing over the reason why, I think your reason is bullshit and you have failed to back it up with any evidence whilst refuting evidence I've shown you. You've also been incredibly patronising so yes, I'm meeting arsey with arsey. What exactly are you hoping for from this exchange? I can't see the value in it myself.

Wouldn't worry about - I'm sure there will be a bunch of people along in a minute with 6'9" husbands/fathers/sons to top it.

Think it might have been the “fatty”.

Well, that surely depends. 🤷‍♀️. But, either way, I still don’t understand the dramas. Eat what you like, leave others to fo the same. No commends needed.

Sorted ✔️

Ah, if only it were that simple, but you're dealing with disordered people who need participants, however unwilling.

One of my performative undereating relatives started a kitchen fire with her ridiculous shit. She'd put food on to cook, go away, pretend to forget about it and then witter on about how she just never thinks about food once smoke was pluming from the oven. One time something on the hob actually caught fire and her family was frantically trying to put it out while she simpered away about how food was just never on her mind. I heard one of them finally lost it and while she continued to wang on at every occasion about how little she ate, she did refrain from setting off smoke alarms.

I am so jealous of people who have never experienced this sort of crap.

Women, in which case, would do well to educate themselves on their iron requirements while menstruating, and how much protein they need to eat to maintain good muscle mass as they age.

You should not be contributing to women's poorer health outcomes due to ill-informed nutritional choices.

Then she doesn’t. People trying to get attention make sure you are watching.

Go on, treat yourself to half a pea. 😁

Garden or petit pois?

I agree with that. Just let people eat what they want to eat with no comment.