Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

It might not be appropriate etc etc but I don't think it in isolation could be taken as a crime that the police could pursue

I just assume they all are, and if ever one turns out to be normal, it’s a nice surprise.

Classic grooming behaviour. Even if the man in question is 100% well meaning and innocent he needs to learn this is not acceptable and is teaching children to accept grooming behaviour as normal. So yes, report it. And if he's not well-intentioned, even more reason it needs to be reported.

I hope that you are able to get in touch with the school directly. It's important that this is addressed as soon as possible, and especially whilst it is fresh in DDs mind. Children can have short memories.

Don't push too much. You'll put her off telling you things in the future. She's done a great thing in telling you.

Your DD could have found the £5 on the floor and pocketed it before anyone saw.

She may have made up the story so that she could buy herself an Easter Egg without knowing how the story would backfire....

I would be willing to bet a fiver that this is what actually happened.

Was he a verger by any chance? What did he wear? Churches attract some real oddballs. I'd return the money.

Almost every school in my local authority was running on Thursday, including mine and I can confirm this as I was teaching in it!
OP- definitely report to the school- at best there is a simple explanation /misunderstanding or a poorly thought out act of kindness which the school need to address (and can't if they don't know about it) and at worst, this is grooming and potentially could uncover some very serious goings on

That's a rather negative viewpoint 😕

School should be monitoring communication, even when shut, for safeguarding issues.

We are in south Lincolnshire and our state schools both primary and secondary were open until Thursday! There’s a small number of counties starting Easter hols a week later than most!

Yeah nobody believe your children if they ever tell you information that indicates they're being groomed. They're probably lying. 🙄

Tell the schoolASAP - classic grooming behaviour or at the least incredibly naive.
we had a school priest who did this kind of thing, to several children. Was at our the parish/school priest for several years. The one day said priest is gone overnight - were were told on a ‘mission’
Priest was convicted 25 years later for abusing boys. The ‘mission’ was the church moving him to another SCHOOL post in another country. They did this for years before he was actually arrested and charged.

I think that’s a very wise move. I would not question your DD any more about this, but would tell her that you’ll have to speak to the school about it and possibly the school will have to contact the police because the ‘vicar’ has not behaved well. Meanwhile, write down everything you can remember about what she has told you.
It is possible that she is telling you the truth, but it’s also possible that she isn’t. She could have ‘found’ the money and have concocted a story to tell you. Whilst you mustn’t accuse her of lying, you should still keep an open mind about where this money came from. Some time ago, I taught a child who had a tendency to be light fingered, taking things like rubbers, pencils, someone else’s hair slides left in their bag. One day her mum brought her into school with a £10 note saying she’d brought it home having found it in my classroom. She had found it, that was true - in my bottom drawer where I had left a collection tin for a staff member who was leaving!

So better to just ignore it then ? And possibly allow a predator to carry on working with children ? It’s grooming behaviour and needs investigation.

I don't think the OP has said it's a CofE school has she?

My DC attended a non-religious primary school but it had a local URC minister who took assembly on a Friday, plus visiting ministers and vicars from other local churches.

The OP needs to report this to the school as it happened at the school. They will know what steps to take.

My best friend is a Catholic but has worked for an Anglican diocese. Let’s just say a lot goes on behind the scenes that the church wants to be kept quiet, even now. Priests and vicars and some other staff involved are still abusing children.

What? You’re very mistaken

I hope your friend is whistleblowing.

The church needs to deal with it too.

Keep it as a surprise until Mothering Sunday is fine

Absolutely. They will have a protocol.

Well that suddenly makes sense why travel is more expensive right up until the end of April. I didn’t realise schools varied so wildly. A learning point! Thank you.

As for the dilemma - definitely drop the school an email. It’s a massive no-no.

Classic grooming behaviour. "Here, a fiver for sweets- keep it a secret". Then when he's sure she's able to keep secrets it will be more fivers and SA.
My DS is in a catholic secondary although we are not religious and I told him straight off that that there have been many scandals about catholic priests grooming young boys and to tell me immediately if something feels off from any adult or child (religious or not). He's been in this school for 2 years and has yet to meet a priest but I'm happy to have told him that there are predators out there, even targeting boys.

You have to report this OP! I would not trust the religious community to deal with it properly though because they have a history of covering things like this up so I would file a report with your local LA as well as school.

The school may be closed for lessons, but someone will be monitoring all safeguarding concerns, that doesn’t end in the holidays. The schools website should have clear instructions on raising a safeguarding issue.