Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

Yeah, I get it. I was just trying to make the point that the school wasn't necessarily closed. Which we know it wasn't!

Report to the school immediately and do not let your child ever be anywhere near this man. If the school take their safeguarding duties seriously he will never be allowed in again. Do not let your daughter be alone with this man. Do not underestimate what this could lead to. Completely inappropriate.

Just wanted to add... absolutely believe her and don't let her think you're doubting it even if there is a bit of doubt. That's the last thing you want to do in situations like this. Believe her unless you get solid proof it's not true or a misunderstanding. Too many children aren't believed when they're groomed and abused. Don't put your child in the position to think my parent isn't going to believe me if something else happens.

Email to ask the school for clarification immediately. Don’t wait till school reopens. Get as much detail down on paper now as your D can remember.

Please log with the school and give them a chance to investigate. I would advise strongly against contacting the diocese directly. Kids DO sometimes lie (not necessarily saying your dd is) and the school will know context, for example whether your dd was sitting next to the individual concerned, and whether the story checks out. The diocese will not and hence not be able to investigate in the same way.

Why not? They should be informed and take appropriate action, surely?

School need to deal with this not a church.

This is how grooming starts it’s a test to see if she’ll tell

They are not in a position to investigate what went on in a school.If your dd's allegation is feasible, all the relevant authorities will be involved.

Not if it’s not true. Eg if she didn’t meet the vicar that day because he wasn’t in, or he was with a teacher all the time, then it’s clearly a fantasy

And this would be extremely upsetting for the individual concerned.

They are. School and Church investigate
The Church has responsibility for the vicar and needs to take appropriate steps.
Gone are the days when the Church wouldn't be involved. They need to be contacted.

Yes she pulled it out of her pocket when we got home

The adult in theae instances is not protected just in case they get "upset". It has to be investigated.

So, what are you saying? It shouldn't be investigated? I don't understand
It's a safeguarding problem. There's a procedure.

Of course it does, but if tge school knows that individual was not even in school that day, then the 'incident' dies not need to be wider desseminated

Id raise a safeguarding concern with the church they are serving. They are open over Easter 😊 they should have the safeguarding leads details available online, most do

This is what I'm going to do. I'm not naive enough to think there's no chance she could be lying, she has been caught out in lies before (although nothing as serious as this) and as much as I'd like to think she wouldn't lie about something so serious I would rather the school investigate it first before taking it further. However I will be extremely shocked if she has made it all up, she's very adamant about it

Well then it's easily resolved if he wasn't even there. The Church can confirm that.

Well, she got the fiver from somewhere.

Op given DD isn't going to be near this person until after the holiday I think I'd wait and talk to the school.

I certainly don't think its a police matter. I really don't know what people are expecting the police to do.
Giving someone money is hardly illegal. It might point to attempts as grooming but I don't think the police would be in any way interested at this stage.

Yanbu that's very thoughtless inappropriate behaviour at best, predatory grooming behaviour at worst. This should not have gone unnoticed at school either, a member of staff should be closely supervising visitors interactions with pupils at all times. I'd be speaking to the DSL first day back.

Giving money or gifts to children like this, singled out and 'a secret', children who are students in your 'care' if you work in a school etc is a huge no no in any school contract. It can be interpreted as grooming at worst, favortism, etc and is completely inappropriate.

Of course, If that is what happened. But I think the OP is right to tread cautiously.

She could have found it or something.
You never know she might even have nicked it from somewhere.

The school need to check out what she is saying