Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

Hmm I’m torn now on whether she’s telling the truth or lying. Did the vicar get up from the sofa and stand next to your DD? Seems like other child and cctv if there is any will resolve this.

It’s not our place to decide whether a child who has made a disclosure of this nature is lying or not. The allegation has been made and must be followed up.

Contact the school, the diocese safeguarding bod and the police.

This is red flag bunting.

You should Google best practice. The advice in this situation is to listen calmly, take notes and report to the police/school, etc. you should not question the child multiple times. That should be left to the police, etc as they know the correct way to deal with this type of questioning.

OP had already done a great job of asking the right questions, clarifying and then reporting. She should NOT keep asking her about it.

Exactly.

Why do you have an opinion on if the dd is lying or not and why are you probing for details. This isn’t a true crime podcast! OP posted to make sure she was taking the right steps, not for other posters to decide if her DD is lying

😂
I don't need to Google anything, thank you!
😂😂

You are NBU to be concerned about this

You are BU by beginning your post with “So”. Why oh why do people do this?!

Excuse me ? Why are you even questioning this child ? It’s people like you who won’t believe children that perpetuate child abuse . The realists off this situation is that the child is paramount , an adult that is not guilty will have no issue proving it .

There's a lot of assumptions going on here!
Not very wise ones 😕

This, exactly. I've no idea why people don't understand this very basic point about safeguarding.

Perhaps I’m confused by your earlier statement and if so then I’m sorry. It seemed you were encouraging the OP to further talk to her DD about the situation.

Yes. You misunderstood entirely.

Well, I see you went to a lot of effort to clarify your posting.

I see you're not taking my hint. I'm not going to engage with a poster who tells me to "Google it".
That is all.
Edited for spelling error, which no doubt would have been pointed out! 😂

I suggested you google the best practices in this situation because it needs to be dealt with properly. The OP had already questioned her daughter a few times (it what seems like the correct way). Posters have been suggesting asking the DD follow-up questions which it seems like you were suggesting as well.

I said you should google it because I think it’s helpful to read about the best practices from legitimate sources rather than someone positing on mumsnet.

And no, I don’t point out spelling errors. I am posting via my phone and I’m sure have plenty of spelling errors myself.

I've said multiple times that the Diocesan SG officer is the person to report this too/check identity and role of the person with. The diocese of Durham website will have a SG email and number clearly available. So indeed should the parish .
I know the church has a very patchy SG history but because of that the procedures are tight .

Absolutely this. The church really have tightened up safeguarding procedures, and there is clarity of understanding of procedure now. The Diocesan SG lead should be contactable, or their deputy at any point. That any representative of the church, be it a vicar, curate or whatever, should behave in this way is quite extraordinary and contrary to even the basic practice guidance.
Never mind "best practice".

Nope no further at all, no reply to my email as of yet. I will PM you with the link to the school website, it's not ideal to have no one at all monitoring it.

It really is a bizarre situation, when she first said it I was thinking to myself how the hell could that happen in that situation without any of the teachers or more than one other child seeing. But she is so adamant about it I can't disbelieve her without at least getting the school to investigate it.

I can't believe this is the thing you've picked up on but yes, I was in the school hall for the Easter Fair last week and there is two sofas in the back corner of the hall, I assume it's some kind of break out area? They're definitely there though.

Thanks again for all the comments, at this point I am still going to wait for the school to reply, I do not think contacting the police at this stage would be appropriate and I'd really rather wait and establish all the facts with the school before going any further.

What about the designated governor for safeguarding? Schools often put governing body info somewhere on their website (can be buried in a downloadable document though). They would probably be more likely to be checking emails while the school is closed and would have contact details of the head.

I've only read your posts @TakeALookAtTheseSwatches, so apologies if this has already been suggested. Have you tried googling "School name safeguarding contact email"? I just tried that for a few of my local schools and the email addresses popped up on the search, it may work even if it's not clearly signposted on the school website (which it really should be, and is another thing to raise with school once you manage to get hold of someone!)

Of course the school has a safeguarding contact email and of course they don't have a sofa in the back of a hall