Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

But I totally agree with everybody else this is not an emergency. The child is safe.

People are weirdly insistent on points like these. I don't find either point difficult to believe.

My kids' primary school is nowhere near Durham and there's no safeguarding contact email. The website lists the safeguarding lead, deputy and assistants and gives their phone numbers (they're all the same main school number). There's no safeguarding email at the school. It also lists various designated persons and safeguarding team contacts at the local authority, with phone numbers and email addresses.

And yes, there's a sofa in the back corner of the hall. The kind of uncomfortable upright upholstered seat/sofa you might find in an office reception area.

I’m torn, I don’t disbelieve or believe you. Kids sometimes say the strangest things and yes lie. I lied (not much) at that age. But this is a serious accusation if true. Has she had the stranger danger talk yet?

As kids we had a lovely 60s 70s illustrated stranger danger book. It fascinated us but was also friendly. My DM now has lost it! One of our fave books with drawn coloured pics of men in raincoats offering sweets to children. Eek!

For now. And what if he’s trying this trick elsewhere and abusing other children?

Yeah right. So every school is the same? Nope.

I have no idea why she hasn’t done so. She should have

Which is exactly why the OP needs to report this to the police.

Yup.

If you think this is an immediate danger, then you obviously have no experience of safeguarding

This

There is no immediate danger to this child, but HE could be an immediate danger to other children, especially over the Easter period when lots of children attend church/church arranged activities.

There are two sides to safeguarding, which given you have experience in the area, you obviously know.

If there’s no safeguarding email for the school what can she do? Do admin staff work at the school during Easter holidays? Email Diocese? Police maybe

I'm a governor and I'm still reading my emails in the holidays. I've had a meeting in the Easter hols with the head, deputy, and the safeguarding lead, and we've exchanged emails and whatsapps. Fewer than during term time, and yes some of the staff do go on holidays and have proper breaks but it's still worth emailing the head and the main school email address even if you don't have the direct email for the governor.

Weird that people are so hung up on the sofa being in the hall. The space our children have assembly in has sofas in the corner at the back because it's a space that's used for other things.

Presumably he won't have one to one contact with children at said activities. I'm personally not sure how giving someone five pounds equates to a police matter but there you have it

Definitely. Even with safeguarding procedures in place abusers still slip through the net, I’m sure I posted about this before. Choirboys and cathedral staff in an English c of e cathedral maybe 15 years ago. My best friend worked in comms and fundraising for a Catholic diocese and I know of a safeguarding officer who was fired from a Catholic diocese because she made a serious mistake. The tales my best friend could tell you about inappropriate behaviour (Catholic author gay to do with a secondary school, very dodgy poems). Sexual abuse still does happen in all faiths make no mistake about it.

It’s what he said as well as giving her the money to silence her.

I hope this did not happen and the girl is lying. Some do at that age. But if she isn’t lying it’s potentially very serious or could be. Abusers are very clever people.

Absoutely you need to report this to the school, police and the church as this safeguarding issues. This has been convered recently on Waterloo Road - it can be the start of something much bigger.

Giving the child five pounds and telling them it’s a secret between them is most definitely a police matter. It’s a huge red flag. How much evidence of child abuse does there have to be among members of the clergy to get the message across?

But are other children this man may be in contact with safe ?

Ok - so why doesn't the OP call police

So if he gave a bible or sweets that’d be ok would it? And no other children had these. And to tell her to be quiet about it or keep a secret.

I suppose when my DB was at Catholic school it was fine for one of the brothers to touch his hair and say it needed pigtails? Brother’s hair was mostly short anyway.

Totally agreed. It is shocking how many people minimise these incidents or make excuses for them.

I looked on my children’s old primary school website out of interest, zero safeguarding phone numbers or addresses apart from the main school office number.

When all the schools open again it might be something some people should query with their children’s schools.

Does your child know the consequences of lying? Especially if it gets people in authority or respected people into trouble?