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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping a 3 bedroom council house when your children have grown up

1000 replies

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:41

Just pondering - what are everyone’s opinions on a single parent raising their children in a council house/housing association house and staying there once their children have moved out? Should they downsize into a one bed flat/smaller property or is it their right to remain in their home/neighbourhood?

Added extra - they have looked after the property well, have landscaped the garden, installed a new kitchen and generally added value to the property.

OP posts:
Pepperlee · 03/04/2026 14:30

1457bloom · 03/04/2026 12:25

If she’s working why doesn’t she move out and rent a private place?

Why would anyone do that? To be at the mercy of a landlord who can decide to sell up anytime.

MrsMcGarry · 03/04/2026 14:32

XenoBitch · 03/04/2026 14:28

DM is in a 3 bed house, and has to pay the full rent. She is not on benefits. People claiming housing benefit only get benefit according to their needs... so if my mum did claim HB, then she would only get HB to cover a 1 bed place, and would have to make up the shortfall herself. That is what is known as the 'bedroom tax', and is already a thing.

I'm very aware. But those in council or HA properties are also being subsidised by the lower rent they are being charged compared to an equivalent property on the private rented market. So people not in receipt of HB are benefitting as well

Maray1967 · 03/04/2026 14:34

Bumblebeeforever · 03/04/2026 07:49

Why on earth would someone pay for a new kitchen in a house they don’t own? Legally they can stay there but as they don’t own it and there aren’t enough council houses then morally I don’t think they should, I don’t think it’s the same as someone who owns their own home not wanting to move.

Those of us who grew up in council houses in the 70s have no problem understanding why. It was your house - as long as you paid the rent. My parents put in a kitchen, tiled the toilet and bathroom, decorated throughout, carpeted. As did all my friends’ parents who had council houses. I think the only thing you couldn’t do was knock walls down.

cramptramp · 03/04/2026 14:34

I’d suggest moving to a two bedrooms flat or house so you can still have people to stay. I agree with the idea.

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:34

MrsMcGarry · 03/04/2026 14:32

I'm very aware. But those in council or HA properties are also being subsidised by the lower rent they are being charged compared to an equivalent property on the private rented market. So people not in receipt of HB are benefitting as well

That has nothing to do with bedroom tax though - it's only people on benefits who are affected and not everyone qualifies for it - certainly not in England. Where I live there's not always that much difference between council and private rented accommodation - particularly for one and two bedroom flats

GaIadriel · 03/04/2026 14:36

Hmm. I don't really like the idea of people being turfed out of the house they've spent years in. But on the other hand I couldn't afford a three bedroom place (or would be an excessive waste of money) and will get turfed out of my place if I can't pay market rate.

Must admit it irks me a bit that my mate has a nicer place than me on an upmarket newbuild in one of the most expensive market towns in the UK. She got it a few years back when she split up with her partner whose house she lived in (he was paying everything).

She works very part time doing beauty stuff at a posh local spa and has buckets of free time. Whilst I work 50+ hours and pay full market rate for a slightly less nice place in the nicer part of a distinctly less posh area and my taxes pay for her to take it easy. She could easily be doing some extra hours but doesn't need to as she pays so little in rent.

ThisChirpyFox · 03/04/2026 14:36

GivesYourHosieryaFright · 03/04/2026 08:53

Council tenants do not pay full market rent, so they are benefiting from a subsidy paid for by taxpayers.

Exactly... and getting repairs and other bits done for free. Yes they're paying rent, but often way below market rates

Homeowners and private renters do not get this sport so being in a council house is a privilege

SunnyRedSnail · 03/04/2026 14:38

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:50

How are the tax payer funding that person? People in council houses and housing association homes pay rent like everyone else and a lot work full time.

They pay rent but it is a subsidized rent.

And it's not just about paying a room tax if you are under-occupying a property. It's the fact that families are in desperate need of social housing with subsidized rent to house a FAMILY and there aren't enough of these houses.

Therefore it's only fair that those no longer in need of a family home should have to downsize, or at the very least pay the full private market rent price so that the council/HA can then rent a private property to let at the HA rent price.

For the very reason they probably got given the HA family home in the first place, it's not time for someone else to have it.

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:38

ThisChirpyFox · 03/04/2026 14:36

Exactly... and getting repairs and other bits done for free. Yes they're paying rent, but often way below market rates

Homeowners and private renters do not get this sport so being in a council house is a privilege

Private landlords should be doing repairs for their tenants.

OneBadKitty · 03/04/2026 14:38

The whole point of council houses is to provide secure affordable housing to lower income families guaranteed for life.

It is their home not just a house. Tenants should be able to stay once family leave if they choose. A one bedroom flat cannot offer the same lifestyle as a house- they have no garden, no space to entertain and no space for guests or family to stay.

The intention of council housing was not for emergency accommodation.

Why are people having more children than they can realistically afford to house? It's not as if the council houses were sold off yesterday. I do think selling them off was a tragedy though and has led to no end of housing issues in the UK.

MrsMcGarry · 03/04/2026 14:39

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:34

That has nothing to do with bedroom tax though - it's only people on benefits who are affected and not everyone qualifies for it - certainly not in England. Where I live there's not always that much difference between council and private rented accommodation - particularly for one and two bedroom flats

That's great - but where I live the difference is massive - social rent housing is at 50% of market rent, housing benefit is being paid at 65% of market rent and the govt measure of affordable rent is 80% of market rent. For a 3 bed house around here that is thousands of pounds per year

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:39

SunnyRedSnail · 03/04/2026 14:38

They pay rent but it is a subsidized rent.

And it's not just about paying a room tax if you are under-occupying a property. It's the fact that families are in desperate need of social housing with subsidized rent to house a FAMILY and there aren't enough of these houses.

Therefore it's only fair that those no longer in need of a family home should have to downsize, or at the very least pay the full private market rent price so that the council/HA can then rent a private property to let at the HA rent price.

For the very reason they probably got given the HA family home in the first place, it's not time for someone else to have it.

Maybe councils should build more affordable energy efficient housing - mine are - but it's still not enough for people who need them because for decades they didn't build.

LakieLady · 03/04/2026 14:40

XenoBitch · 03/04/2026 14:28

DM is in a 3 bed house, and has to pay the full rent. She is not on benefits. People claiming housing benefit only get benefit according to their needs... so if my mum did claim HB, then she would only get HB to cover a 1 bed place, and would have to make up the shortfall herself. That is what is known as the 'bedroom tax', and is already a thing.

"Bedroom tax" doesn't apply to people over pension age though, hence my MIL getting all her rent (and council tax) covered.

She had a letter from the council recently telling her she has to pay towards the cost of mowing the grass verge outside her house, though: it's a massive 70p per week!

Ribenaberry12 · 03/04/2026 14:42

My elderly parents are in the situation and I really wish they would move out. Me and my siblings have all offered to help them downsize in as many ways as you could imagine from moving in with us to clubbing together and buying them a retirement property round the corner from where they are now. Their house is running away from them, is an absolute state cosmetically and too big for them to maintain and keep clean but they will accept no outside help and won’t move. They’ve been in there 40+ years. They paid bedroom tax. They don’t want to face up to getting older is the bottom line, I think. We’re at our wits end with them.
Sorry, that digresses from the original point but helped me to get my frustration out!

BatchCookBabe · 03/04/2026 14:42

Kirbert2 · 03/04/2026 12:18

Exactly.

I only moved into SH a year ago and it is mine for as long as I want it. I don't believe anyone in my position would willingly move back to insecure housing years later with a shortage of smaller SH properties, I just don't.

Quite. And as for the 'all social housing is funded by the taxpayer' comments. All the LOLz. Such ignorance.

It is NOT. Yes, social housing is sometimes built using government funding, but it's almost always loans, and they are paid back.

Also, many social housing properties are 30+ years old, and didn't cost that much to build - or buy - pre mid 1990s, and many have been paid for 10 times over many years ago. So the only people funding them are the TENANTS who are paying the rent!

Also, many people who live in social housing do actually work..😱 (I know that may come as a shock to some,) so THEY ARE TAXPAYERS. So they have every right to move into social housing.

And no they SHOULDN'T have to give it up if their financial situation improves. The vast majority of people who qualify for social housing are never going to be huge earners, and in the vast majority of cases they won't be loaded, (despite the tales you get on here from some about how this person and that person they know is in social housing, and they have £110,000 a year household income!) 🙄

If someone has say, £300 a month more income, say, 8-9 years after being awarded social housing, and they are made to give up the property/tenancy, and they have to move into private let that is £700 a month more than their social housing property, they will be much worse off, and will need social housing again! It makes NO sense to turf people out of secure and affordable social housing into insecure expensive private let. NONE AT ALL!

And it's funny how some people on these threads seem to know how much other people earn. I don't know what my best friends earn, or my adult DC. I only know the salary of one person (apart from myself,) and that is my husband. Yet so many people on Mumsnet seems to know EXACTLY what everyone else earns, AND what all their outgoings are.

It's quite extraordinary! 😂

Mrspatmoresapprentice · 03/04/2026 14:42

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 09:25

It’s not subsidised.

If it’s not subsidised, what do Homes England do and what is the £27bn Social and Affordable Homes programme?
Personally I think we should be investing far more in social and affordable housing. Even if people currently want to downsize there is a significant shortage of anywhere to downsize to. It’s all well and good saying they “should” leave, but to where?
And the Government won’t raise social rents (well they do, but it is capped) because they’ll end up paying a lot of the increase via Housing Benefit anyway, whereas everyone pays Council Tax.

SunnyRedSnail · 03/04/2026 14:44

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:39

Maybe councils should build more affordable energy efficient housing - mine are - but it's still not enough for people who need them because for decades they didn't build.

They should do that as well, but those lucky enough to have social housing shouldn't take more than they need.

PinterandPirandello · 03/04/2026 14:46

I don’t think you pay any bedroom tax if you’re on certain benefits or over 75?

Our LA have had to substantially increase the amount they offer to downsizers (£2k per bedroom given up plus all removal and other costs paid eg; cooker/washing machine disconnection and reconnection). They are so desperate for 3/4/5 bed houses.

As a previous poster pointed out, sheltered housing usually has a similar rent and then there is the service charge on top for one/two bed flats so not much of an incentive to downsize there unless you’re looking for the security.

GaIadriel · 03/04/2026 14:46

I don't blame people for choosing the best option for themselves tbh. But I think it should be down to requirements and they should be relocated if necessary, as long as it doesn't uproot them massively (e.g. would have to be local). Paying reduced rent is already a huge privilege.

To all the people saying the gov should build more houses....who is paying for this? I work in construction and can ensure you that the cost is astronomical when contractors know it's gov funding. Like, I've been on HS2 for years and it's truly shocking. Got paid £700 a day for the last two bank hols I worked (due to huge 'out of hours' bonuses) and did literally an hour's work over the whole weekend due to other contractors not completing on time.

Also worked three weeks on nights recently for between £360-400 a night and the first two weeks I was doing less than four hours a night. The cost to the taxpayer will be immense!

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:49

SunnyRedSnail · 03/04/2026 14:44

They should do that as well, but those lucky enough to have social housing shouldn't take more than they need.

I'm currently in a one bedroomed flat - my previous one was a two bedroomed - but that was only because there were no one bedroomed properties available or I would have taken it. There are some places in my home town that are sought after and you would wait 20 years to get a one bedroomed flat in those areas

GaIadriel · 03/04/2026 14:52

Also, many people who live in social housing do actually work..😱 (I know that may come as a shock to some,) so THEY ARE TAXPAYERS.

Net contributors or net recipients?

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:54

GaIadriel · 03/04/2026 14:46

I don't blame people for choosing the best option for themselves tbh. But I think it should be down to requirements and they should be relocated if necessary, as long as it doesn't uproot them massively (e.g. would have to be local). Paying reduced rent is already a huge privilege.

To all the people saying the gov should build more houses....who is paying for this? I work in construction and can ensure you that the cost is astronomical when contractors know it's gov funding. Like, I've been on HS2 for years and it's truly shocking. Got paid £700 a day for the last two bank hols I worked (due to huge 'out of hours' bonuses) and did literally an hour's work over the whole weekend due to other contractors not completing on time.

Also worked three weeks on nights recently for between £360-400 a night and the first two weeks I was doing less than four hours a night. The cost to the taxpayer will be immense!

Edited

The Scottish govt is giving councils funds to build more council housing.

I don't personally think people should have to be told how privileged they are. Everyone's circumstances are different. I waited a long time for council housing and I only got an offer because there were voids in an area people didn't want to live in. I have paid a lot of money in rent over decades even though it's cheaper than private rented accommodation

Justgorgeous · 03/04/2026 14:55

YouDriveMeCrazyButICanDoThatMyself · 03/04/2026 07:44

It’s their home. They shouldn’t be forced out into a one bedroom flat anymore than a private home owner should have to sell their 4 bed detached and move into a one bed to free up houses for new families.

What a stupid comparison.

WhatIMean · 03/04/2026 14:55

MiserableMrsMopp · 03/04/2026 09:17

My great-aunt lived in a 3 bed local authority home. She would have willingly moved to 1 bedroom flat but was unable to manage the move herself. IF the local authority had supported her in the move, it would have freed her house up 9 years earlier (finally returned to the LA upon her death).

Due to her age, she was unable to pack and couldn't have afforded moving costs.

But if she didn’t live in an LA house and wanted to move, she would still need help.

Had she any family or friends to help? (Rather than relying on the LA).

Differentforgirls · 03/04/2026 15:00

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 14:34

That has nothing to do with bedroom tax though - it's only people on benefits who are affected and not everyone qualifies for it - certainly not in England. Where I live there's not always that much difference between council and private rented accommodation - particularly for one and two bedroom flats

We mitigate the bedroom tax in Scotland through (I think) discretionary payments.

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