AIBU to refuse inheritance so my estranged father cannot benefit?

[Kate8889]

My father lives in my home country (Russia) and he would inherit 1/4 of my assets if I die before him, and same in reverse, if he passes away first. He abandoned me and my mom when I was 5 to go into a cult, hasn't helped in any way since and communicated only to ask me to forgive his child support debt.

So far I haven't had much in my name there except a very modest bank account. Unfortunately, my grandma is not doing well and wishes to write me into her will for a country cabin we have.

I told my grandma that because he would automatically get a portion if anything were to happen to me, I do not want anything in my name in my home country, to give it to my mom. She is very offended and thinks she's giving me this big gift.

Another consideration is that I would have to take leave from work without much notice and go and accept the inheritance, which would be mega stressful. My mom is all but retired so shed be fine to go.

What are the chances of you dying before him, do you have a serious illness? In the worst case he gets a quarter and you pass on the rest. Don't upset your GM over this.

Read. The. Thread.

There are lots of countries where it isn't possible to entirely disinherit family members - eg France and Scotland.

If you pre-decease your dad, you won't be around to care if he benefits...

@Kate8889 My apologies for being insensitive. I wish you well for your health & all other aspects of your life.

@Joliefolie@ProfessorBinturong thanks for calling me out - I’m normally obsessive on reading an OP’s posts, to avoid crass insensitivity like this. I’ve apologised to @Kate8889 & feel like an ignorant idiot in the circumstances.

It’s sounds like you’ve managed to explain things to your grandmother, Op, and that she understands. Hopefully it will also help she and your mother to work through the hurt from your great grandma bypassing your grandma in her own will. Fingers crossed that this becomes something that helps bring you closer, not push you apart.

I think if this is about Russian law and you live in the US then it's going to be very hard for a predominantly UK based forum to accurately help. You need legal advice that are experienced in these countries rules.

OP isn't asking for legal advice @StolenTeapots.

According to Russian inheritance laws, Forced Heirship applies in certain circumstances. So if the OP is outlived by her father, potentially he could inherit some of her estate but there are exceptions to this, one being if a parent abused or abandoned a child. This must be clearly stated in the deceased’s Will and with ensure that the OPs father cannot inherit anything. https://www.lawgratis.com/blog-detail/inheritance-laws-in-russia

I came on here to type exactly this.

Mumsnet is quite the diverse forum, and there are people on here that are indeed familiar with both Russian law and living in the US.

I'd take it and cross the bridge later. Does he have the same disability as you? Won't he then likely die first?

His disability is from being near the Chernobyl disaster (thyroid) mine is a genetic condition, a deletion on a chromosome

It's bard because there is family attachment to the cabin, isn't it. We had quite a stir about ours at one point too as younger gen wanted to sell one, older ones did not even though that no one was actually using that one at all...

Good your GM understood. If you are ue inheritances in future, I would start talkimg with the people, like your mum, so you don't end up with same issue.

Well my other grandma didn't even think to leave me even a few photos/a small memento so this is probably the one and only time this will be an issue.