AIBU to refuse inheritance so my estranged father cannot benefit?

[Kate8889]

My father lives in my home country (Russia) and he would inherit 1/4 of my assets if I die before him, and same in reverse, if he passes away first. He abandoned me and my mom when I was 5 to go into a cult, hasn't helped in any way since and communicated only to ask me to forgive his child support debt.

So far I haven't had much in my name there except a very modest bank account. Unfortunately, my grandma is not doing well and wishes to write me into her will for a country cabin we have.

I told my grandma that because he would automatically get a portion if anything were to happen to me, I do not want anything in my name in my home country, to give it to my mom. She is very offended and thinks she's giving me this big gift.

Another consideration is that I would have to take leave from work without much notice and go and accept the inheritance, which would be mega stressful. My mom is all but retired so shed be fine to go.

That's mad. Are you so ill or something that you expect him to outlive you?

Accept it then donate it to a Russian charity?

She has answered this, yes, she has a condition that could take 20yrs off her life.

Because she’s not asking a legal question.

Get a friend to help and set up a pulley system to Narva castle. No one will suspect a thing!

Or maybe don’t. Idk maybe just move on from the whole lot of them?

I would hazard, the thread.

Would you be getting anything except the cabin?
Clearly, if she's offended, you didn't phrase it well.
Maybe you should see if a lawyer would have a better suggestion.
What mystifies me is how your father would inherit from you, as if you have no right to a will of your own.

Yeah, that last part is probably a teensy bit illegal. And the way things are going the last thing I think I'd try to do (even as a US citizen) is try to smuggle anything into the US.

Just for shits and giggles I took a look. You can do a wire transfer from Estonia to the US in excess of 10k, although it rings all sorts of bells and you get asked questions and may have to prove you aren't money laundering. And the fact that it would be of Russian origin might complicate things. Not sure about the tax situation though. I know inheritances aren't generally taxable depending on the amount.

Maybe you'd be better off buying a crazy expensive diamond necklace and then auctioning it here. You'd lose import fees & have to pay tax on the auction, but you'd still be money ahead lol. OK, now I'm just being ridiculous.

Seriously, if Granma won't consider anything other than leaving it to you and you really can't stop her, is there any family or anyone still in Russia that you'd want to 'gift' it to? Or you could gift it to your mum? You wouldn't benefit from it, but at least your father wouldn't get his mitts on it.

Just saw your post. Would it be bureaucratic hell to gift it to someone still resident in Russia (if there is anyone)?

Have you said "You know Grandma, if you leave the house to me my dad will end up with 1/4 of it if I should die before he does. Are you sure you want that to happen?

It’s not binding on Russian courts. They can control what happens to any assets in Russia.

Half my family are Russians in Russia, so I’m well aware of the issues.

Most Russians needing to get around the sanctions utilize crypto, transfer via a middleman country, or use a non-sanctioned bank. Certainly it’s a pain in the ass, and only OP can decide whether it’s worth it or not.

I haven’t used the service offered on the site myself, but I know people who have. They handle sorting out a p.o.a within Russia to deal with the bureaucracy - the filing and receiving the certificate of right to inheritance, for example. They also advise you on how best to proceed once that is obtained.

OP, what happens if you don’t physically turn up to accept the inheritance and, essentially, refuse it after her death?

Accept it and blow the lot? Holidays, live the high life. If loads of money, Then give to friends and charities?

Sell the cabin, get the money out of Russia so that he can't inherit. Unless it's truely to stressful to fly their right now.

What law?

I've never heard of such a thing !

Isn’t there a war on that Russia is involved in?

I imagine almost every part of daily life is affected in Russia and while I too live in the USA I wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling there.

I wonder if assets are affected. Or say, if you did sell the property and then tried to transfer the proceeds to America - would Russia place a hold on them or a large tax? I don’t know. I imagine things change very quickly in Russia.

Oh yeah - we’re in a stupid and unnecessary war too. At least no other country is cooperating with us - to Trump’s embarrassment and our humour.
It isn’t funny - but we’re still laughing at that fat bastard.
And our petrol prices are through the roof.
Thanks, Donald.

I hope whatever you decide to do it sits well with you, @Kate8889

How "imminent" is your grandmother's death? I'd carry on refusing the gift and take more time to explain why to her.

I'm estranged from my father, so I understand not wanting yours to inherit anything.

OP you have already been deprived of a loving relationship with a father, don't let this man poison your relationship with your grandmother. Do not centre your understandable anger at him in your reponse to her. I would focus on letting her know how much you love her, how grateful you are to her for this wonderful gift. Unfortunately your employers in the US make it extremely difficult for you to take the kind of leave required to come to Russia to do all the paperwork around inheritance but as your mum is in a better position to deal with that, could she please give it to your mum who will then later pass it onto you when you will be in a better position to receive it and not risk your job... keep stressing love and gratitude and don't bring anger at your father into it.

I’d just accept it. It doesn’t sound like it would sell for much anyway and the chances of you dying before your Dad are slim. Don’t upset your Gran.

Yes, this is the way I'd try to advance the point.

If that doesn't work and you end up inheriting the datcha, what would be the legal.position if you simply never did the inheritance paperwork? Would it then pass automatically to your father or would it be scooped up by the state?

If you do end up stuck with it, I think selling and converting it to jewellery may be your best option. Easier to move out of the countrry than bundles of notes.

OP, sorry you're getting such a pile of unhelpful responses from people who are unable to comprehend that different countries have different laws.

Russian law. Which applies to assets in Russia.

Many countries have similar - France and Scotland for example, it's hardly an unusual situation.

Then the OP needs more specialist advice, which I think is beyond the scope of posters on this board.

The OP has not asked for legal advice

If possible this seems best.

Do that, then! You could do a few of those crossings in the same day!

Then maybe she needs tax advice?