At what age would you allow children these everyday freedoms?

[Dancingtobadbunny]

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop

Any, all, none of these?

and how would this compare to your own childhood?

My ds is 10 and does all these…except climbing the fence…and that’s because i wouldn’t want the fence damaged. Why?

I would say 8, except the last one, I think they can start that at 6.

4 & 5 we encouraged from a very young age, not really an 'allow' more an 'encourage to do'

I agree about 10.
Ordering in a restaurant as soon as they are able to communicate with people.

About 7 probably

What age did he start doing them?
If fence is low and cannot be damaged

Yeah I don’t really think “ordering by themselves” is a “freedom” it’s just communication. My ds wanted to ask himself as soon as he could talk…my dd13 on the other hand will always ask me to do it if im there 🤣

1. no age, could break the fence
2. 8
3. 10
4. 4
5. 4

Soft fence, can’t be broken

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac- this is a no from me for my fence but in your case probably from 9
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road- 3 doors down is nothing- age 7.
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room- age 7-8
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe- age 3/4
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop age 3/4

1). Never encountered this, but as soon as they can climb assuming the parent of the friend acknowledges receipt of an extra child in their care! So 4 ish?
2). 6 to 7 ish
3) 8 ish
4). 3 to 4 ish
5). 3 to 4 ish

No difference between what was allowed for me versus what I would allow for my child

Age 5, except for the cooking.
He’s generally out with other kids.,

1. Wouldn't want my fence broken so wouldn't allow this (edit: just saw that the fence can't be broken so 4-5)
2. About 5 walking, would watch them. 6-7 unwatched. 9 plus by bike. All very dependent on how busy the road is and how responsible my child was.
3. 8-10

4 and 5. As soon as they were able to do it

Struggling to visualise that. They definitely couldn’t crush it or snag clothes on it? I probably still wouldn’t encourage it because it’s politer to go round and knock on the front door and see if next door is free to play… But assuming no damage can result from or to the fence and next door are in the garden and have said it’s fine to come over then aged 4 which is the youngest I’d allow an unsupervised play date and the fence bit is neither here or there really. Sorry really struggling to understand what you’re asking with that one…

1). They wouldn’t. Use the front door ffs. But 3/4
2). 5
3). 8
4). That’s not a freedom…it communication but Whenever they’re capable…3/4
5). 3 or 4

So @Dancingtobadbunny I think everyone’s answers are along the same lines. Why do you ask?

5ish apart from the cooking. Depends on the child too.

1. 5/6 as long as parents ok and fence doesnt break
2. Depends on how much traffic e.g. delivery vans using the cul de sac to turn,
3. 10 if we have gas, younger if electric
4. 4
5. 3 (DD loved the independence and i was obvs nearby. She has always been very articulate)

With the fence, it’s our garden fence, they climb over easily and into the house of the friend, they don’t need the formality of knocking on the front door as have known one another since being toddlers

My 7yo can do/does all of these, 1-3 reasonably recently, 4-5 for a few years now

For those saying 3/4 to get themselves to a friend’s house, they would be watched on the way?

Curious if I’m being too lenient/not lenient enough. Dd is 7

I agree with what's being suggested. My youngest GC is away-with-the-fairies, so for 2, I watched her until eight and a half, but we do have the occasional speeding car. Children vary massively and unless you know the child very well, I wouldn't comment on another child not being allowed to do something.

Well I wouldn’t allow climbing over fences anyway, but probably about 8 or 9 for 2 ( mine were older as we don’t live in a cul de sac), 3 I’d be happy with my 10 year old doing but would want to be in the same room to supervise, 13 year old is actually quite a good cook and has been chasing me out the kitchen when he cooks ( he enjoys it) for the last year. I do insist an adult is in the house if he’s using the hob or oven.
4 & 5 from whatever age they can actually talk well enough to do it, although I find a lot of places I do pay for them as they don’t always have money on them and I rarely carry cash.

No you are not being too lenient. Does she have to ask when she wants to go out?