At what age would you allow children these everyday freedoms?

[Dancingtobadbunny]

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop

Any, all, none of these?

and how would this compare to your own childhood?

My 6, nearly 7 yr old does all of these except the cooking.
I think her sister was probably around 8 for that. She makes great biscuits from scratch at 12 and I haven’t supervised for a good couple of years or more.
I think I was a similar age although we didn’t really go to restaurants!

I’d be in the same room if my 7YO was using the hob. Not to do it for them or anything but just keeping an eye.

The fence thing wouldn’t be for me, my kids and next door play but they knock, but if you and your neighbour are alright with it then I don’t see the issue.

Everything else seems alright.

1. not sure- our fence is very tall 2).not there yet- newly turned 7yr old but I anticipate around 8? 3). Has been making fried eggs since 6 initially with supervision and now pretty confident. We use blender to blend pancakes mix so I’m not confident to let him use it alone yet 4). 5yr old - we had a rule - you don’t order for yourself, you don’t eat 5). 6yr old and was so proud of himself!

1. Age 5 with permission

2 6/7 3 8/9 4 as soon as they want to 5 as soon as they actually have money

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac
Hard to judge the situation here - depends on if it’s directly into neighbours garden, if they are in and expecting the DC etc.
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road
Assuming the road is the cul de sac and very quiet, and you can see from the house prob 6.
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room
10 maybe
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe
Around 4 or as soon as they are confident enough to.
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop.
5 maybe, but not if there’s a queue.

Yes def

Every child is different. There is no one ‘set age’ to do anything. You judge what you allow or encourage based on the stage they are at developmentally and emotionally and physically.

your 3 years ago old might be competent to ask for ‘hamburger and chips please’ in a restaurant. Other 3 year olds haven’t even started talking…

parent the child in front of you - look at their ability , confidence, competency etc and make a judgement call for your individual child.

Well then I say it’s all good. What had you doubting yourself?

4 and 5 as soon as they are confident enough and articulate enough to do it efficiently without holding anyone- the server or other customers up. So anything from 2/3 up. 3-depends how much practice they’ve had. Probably 7ish? Frying eggs maybe a little older because of splashing fat. I as soon as they will reliably tell you when they’re going. 2 depends on the road they have to cross.

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac
5 with permission from both houses

2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road
5

3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room
10

4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe 5

5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop 5

about the same as me and same as my 30 year old dd.

1. If you're both happy, it's fine. Do you know they're def in tho? I wouldn't want them to go over and then risk them going out the front way if no one is home.

1. Tbh I couldn't imagine being like "yeah, close the door on your way out, bye!". I'd automatically watch them go, wave at the other parent to confirm receipt of child. Again, if thry are allowed to just leave your house, what happens if they're not in? Would be tempted to go play elsewhere?

1. Fried eggs, too young. Even if they don't spill the hot oil, it can spit at them, I'll let my 6 year olds help me and they've done scrambled eggs with me but frying is a, no due to the oil. Pancakes and biscuits, I couldn't imagine at that age not being at least in and out. Pancakes require lots of messing around with hot pans, raw eggs etc. Biscuits would probably be the youngest one.

1. Do you mean going up to the till alone and ordering and paying, or simply saying the words out loud when urge waiter asks? For shopping, are you going and waiting outside whilst they go to the tiles alone or do they simply hand over the money?

Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac

Five

Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road

Depends on how quiet the cul-de-sac is and whether there is a safe place to cross. Anything between about five and seven, depending on those factors.

Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room

Seven or eight

Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe

Three

Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop

Four

I remember that from about 8 I was riding my bike around to meet friends after school, and I could cook using the hob from about the same age. I don't remember when I ordered my own food in cafes etc. which suggests I've been doing it since I was young.

1. Difficult to say as this doesnt apply to our situation. My dc 9 and 10 have started walking/cycling to a friends just along the road (round a corner, country road, no pavements) 2 summers ago
2. As above
3. No. This is more an issue for me though in that i just havent taught them. I was cooking simple meals ages 11. Baking 9 ish
4. As soon as they could talk.
5. 5ish

Mine, at 8, have done all of these, apart from 3.
What is the point of your post?

Is it just me who is absolutely intrigued about the small unbreakable fence? Sorry, no help at all I realise but you've had more useful answers OP!

4 or 5 for the last two. 3 depends on how competent they are. And maybe 8 for the first one. Maybe 7 if they’re very responsible with the road.

6

'Order for themselves at a restaurant' might well be the kids showing the adults how to use the app to order 😂

1. Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac - 8 or 9, if i know where she is and who she's with. I'm also in contact with neighbour's kids parents, so between us we always have eyes on. 2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road as above 3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room oven things... 9 or so, frying pan, older, and I'd be in the same room until secondary school age.

4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe

3, or whenever they can speak clearly enough for a waiter to understand.

5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop as per item 4

With child over the back-friend comes to the gate or calls to her to come over, family is definitely there and I watch her climb over fence
Child at end of road, I can’t see completely as is round small corner, but stand in front and watch her cross road & listen out for her or I can see from upstairs terrace, so usually run up there if feeling extra vigilant that day.
The cooking is the newest one and one that does worry me a bit, but have been cooking and baking with her by my side since she was a toddler. Have shown her how to press stove on and low number to put it on. She now knows how to turn oven on but won’t allow her to get food out etc
With the shop, she sometimes pays with me in the Queue, a couple of times in one specific shop I stand outside and she’s dashed in to buy something herself and felt v proud, I’m right outside and can see her paying at the till etc

😂I’ll try to find the type of fence I mean. I mean I suppose it technically could be broken, but they stand on the garden bench and climb over so it’s highly unlikely, although her friend did accidentally break a line of solar lights on it by accident by being too excitable in the summer 😬

I suspect a major part of my confusion is that my youngest kids are teens now and there's nothing the buggers couldn't break! (and blame each other for...)

My son is 10 and also does all of these. Cooking and bike riding has been since 10, ordering for self in a restaurant or cafe since about 6 and pay for himself since around 8.

My son is 6 we live on a cul de sac i have just started letting him cross the road to his friends house - which was the same age in the 80s that i hung out with all the neighbourhood kids and probably had a roaming range of a few streets. I am starting to encourage ordering things by himself now in shops. I'd probably say 8ish for the cooking cause we have a gas flame but if it was electric maybe earlier.

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac Reception age ( was next door)
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road Same reception age
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room probrably yr 3
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe Age 3
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop Reception