At what age would you allow children these everyday freedoms?

[Dancingtobadbunny]

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop

Any, all, none of these?

and how would this compare to your own childhood?

1). Never
2). 11
3) biscuits doesn’t involve frying/ hot oil so 8 if they’ve been baking with you for years. 12 for hot oil.
4) 4 or 5
5) 3

Mine are (just 7) and 9

The last two they’ve both been doing since toddlerhood. 1-3 I wouldn’t be allowing my youngest to do. My 9 year old bakes pretty independently but I generally still sort the oven for her. Both would have been able to prepare the pancake batter since tiny but I wouldn’t give either free rein with a pan yet.

1 and 2 wouldn’t really happen. It’s not the done thing to randomly call on other kids in our street at primary age. We have all also put in boundaries so someone knows where the kids are. We had some fence climbing with our next door neighbours (both sets of kids doing it) but actually neither of us really wanted the kids to just be randomly popping into the garden.

1. Don't have a fence so not applicable
2. My youngest has been crossing the road to play with the neighbours grandson since he was 5, very quiet road. Oldest started crossing the road around the same age to play in the little playpark across the road around the same age (with all the neighbourhood kids)
3. I'd have trusted my oldest to cook simple things with me in the next room from 6 but she would not dare to do it then, she only really felt comfortable cooking simple things unsupervised from 14. My youngest is 8 and I still wouldn't trust him, he's too easily distracted.
4. They've both ordered for themselves since about 4 years old
5. Ditto for buying for themselves in shops. They've gone to shops by themselves (down the road) since 6.

DD is 7 and I'd let her do any of these in an appropriate environment.

Depends on the child.
my oldest has been doing all that from about 5 or 6. My youngest is 8 and I still can’t leave him unsupervised in the kitchen!

The last two - any age, whenever they can manage or are confident enough.
The going to friend's house - it's hard to picture the set up, it sounds close? If the road is a very quiet cul de sac, maybe 6 or 7 but I'd want to know they'd arrived! Making biscuits, probably the same but I'd want to be there when they put it in the oven. Fried eggs, a bit older.

1. and 2) Maybe 5/6 IF there’s no roads
2. depends on the child. My girls could do this at around 8. My son, age 11 would still struggle to safely fry an egg!
3. and 5) 3 or 4 - as soon as they can clearly communicate

8, 8, 10, 5, 5

1. Never - I would have expected them to use the front door.

1. 6 - with me watching

1. 6/7 on hand for supervision with hot things.

1. 3/4 if they are confident enough

1. A pocket money toy, 3/4, as soon as they are confident to.

6. Working down t’pit or at mill - 6

My godson who is 4 likes to pay himself in shops!

5/6 except the cooking maybe 7/8

To add, 10/11 to be allowed to go 3 doors down in a cul de sac and cross a quiet road?? how on earth do these kids go to high school?

This is weirdly specific lol

Why does he need to climb the fence, and if you insist then whenever your child can climb over safely....

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac

Depending on the set up, arrangements with the kid’s parents, 6/7. But why climb the fence and not use doors/gates?

2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road

Again, depending on arrangements and the road, 7/8.

3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room

Starting at 8 I’d say if they know what they’re doing.

4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop

Last two, as soon as they could confidently and accurately express themselves/do it in a timely manner. So food at 5 for DD, paying from 3 with support.

Mine are about to be 5 and 7 and I let them play out on the grass in front of our (cul-de-sac) house last week, keeping an eye from the kitchen window.

We've just started encouraging the eldest to pay for things in shops but both of them can go and find a worker in Tesco and ask them a clear question.

I was playing unsupervised with other kids and calling for them to come out from age 7. Same with spending my pocket money in shops. We didnt go to restaurants (1950s) as no one had any money then.

From age 11 I used to get the bus into the local shopping or city center to look around the shops and go to the cinema with my friends. This was considered quite normal.

1). Climb over the back of your garden fence (small) to go to friends house in cul de sac = 4 or 5
2). Allow them to walk or ride their bike by themselves to other neighbours house three doors down at the end of cul de sac, crossing road = 5
3). Make pancakes, fried eggs and biscuits themselves, whilst you are close by but in the next room = 8 or 9
4). Order for themselves when at a restaurant or cafe = when they are old enough to talk and want to do this
5). Pay for themselves when buying a toy etc in a shop = same as for (4)

I would say 10 for the first three and 4 for the last two. I was much more careful with my daughter when she was growing up than my parents were with me as a child. I cycled to school on my own from 6 and was travelling on my own on the train for three stops by the time I was seven, but I wouldn’t dream of letting a child do that now.

My youngest is 8 and I'd allow all these things.

1. and 5. my oldest has been doing since 3. I wouldn't let her cook with hot oil yet without me being in the room but she will do bits without using the stove/oven without me in the room and will do all types of cooking baking if I'm in the room. 1 year old also helps.

Just going a couple of doors down would probably let her do from 5/6 if I could see her.