AIBU to think Germans are generally more sociable than Brits?

[Greyblankie]

last year we were in a very German populated area of Italy - almost all guests were German and the staff spoke Italian and German, few spoke English. I’d learnt a bit of Italian for the trip but ended up speaking more German than Italian 😂

Anyway, we noticed a few things - firstly, Germans tend to be very friendly!

Now being British, a bit unsociable and full of social anxiety when it came to breakfast I’d find us a table in the far corner of the room as isolated as possible 😂 but what would happen is the German guests would come in and immediately set up on the tables closest to ours. A quick guten Morgan and that was it … but DH and I would end up surrounded whilst the rest of the room remained empty

Is this a cultural difference between brits and Germans or is it us (well, me really) who is more unsociable than most?

what other cultural differences have you noticed between Brits and other close Europeans?

I have a Dutch friend who is so blunt it’s actually funny - think “do you think I’m putting weight on?” Her - “yes” 😂

I often travel by train in Britain. The majority of people I meet on a train are British and are more often than not very sociable. In the last six months I've had really interesting chats with lots of people, only one of whom wasn't British. She was American, visiting Bath and extremely friendly.

did you read the post? Op did the exact opposite of inflicting herself, she sat in the far corner but the Germans wanted to be around and be sociable

I find socialising in Britain is a bit like reading a script a lot of the time. It’s not always very warm or naturally friendly or conversational - people want to just get on with their day quietly, honestly. I love being British though, and I put myself in the aforementioned category for the most part!

I don't think there's much difference between the Brits and the Germans to be honest. And (depending on where you come from in the UK) we are related to them. I don't find most Brits particularly unfriendly nor do I find most German unfriendly either. But generally they are quite reserved and value their privacy much the same as the Brits and they don't usually engage in "small talk", so I'm surprised they swamped the OP like they did in the restaurant.

YABU.

But other than a polite 'Good morning' they didn't then talk to the OP. They just didn't realise they were contravening her cultural rules and should have taken as distant a table as possible from her.

Sounds a lot more like they invaded your personal space.
The Swiss are experts at this as well. Get on an empty bus or train, and someone will come and sit next to you. Same with parking the car. Near empty car park? I’ll just park right next to someone.

If you can't cope with other people in restaurants, it might suit you more to simply not go to restaurants.

If we’re generalizing, then ime it depends on the region. Bavaria, Rheinland and Baden are probably the most ‘friendly’. The northern regions tend to be more culturally reserved.

Saying hello is quite normal, in much the same way as it is France, but it’s meant as an acknowledgment, not the start of a conversation.

Germans are more direct, and blunt by British standards. I’m south Slavic, and I generally don’t have to temper myself in conversation with Germans, whereas I had to learn to do that when in conversation with Brits.

Well I am German originally and live in the north west of the UK. But spent my formative years in the south of England. I would say Northeners are the most friendly of those 3 groups. I actually think Germans are as standoffish as UK southerners.

I had a German lodger once , she was very strait laced , formal and not much fun . I do realise you can’t judge a nation by one person though 😁

My experience of Germany is that in Bavaria they are the friendliest, there is almost a north-south divide in reverse compared with England.

I’ve heard Bavaria be called the Texas of Germany, and I can see it. The ‘German’ culture that gets exported - oktoberfest, lederhosen, dirndl etc - is actually Bavarian.

I’ve also heard Bavaria be called ‘essentially Austria’, and I can see that too. Imo it has more in common with Austria than non-Bavarian Germany.

I am a German living in the UK for 2 decades now. I think to a degree you are right but I believe it's more the way Krauts are socialising is different than it is in the UK. Whereas the afternoon Kaffee und Kuchen is a big thing there, it isn't in the UK. In Germany you find less alcohol at get togethers. Germans are more " cosy social creatures " than the Brits are. The sense of humour is very different too.

I think the fact we are an island nation is significant. We are more reserved and need more personal space. So we don't eg sit ourselves on other peoples' tables like other nations do unless it's somewhere like Wagamamas.

I think Germans are more community minded. As an example, if you live in flats here you pay your service charge and cleaning etc are services which are bought in. In Germany, there's a rota and everyone does the cleaning every few days/weeks. They also help each other to move house, whereas we use removal services. Although I think if they are moving things like kitchen units they must need vans too :)

Also they are always stopping people to ask them things like the time and where the railway station is. In my experience it doesn't tend to happen in the UK anymore unless it's tourists in London.

You'll be ok with Australians and New Zealanders too, they tend to tell it like it is. But they don't then like it when Brits respond in kind. We have to be polite, they're allowed to be direct.

The above is a complete overgeneralisation based on an ex NZ colleague. But she really thought she could say what she liked but if we responded directly, she wasn't happy about it!

Northern English people tend to be more direct.

Can you explain the sense of humour please? From my experience Germans enjoy slapstick humour and don't necessarily get the British dry sense of humour.

I've learned that from Mumsnet, yes. The constant use of "some random person" and, even worse, "randomers" is a very recent thing and is pretty unpleasant, imv. They're other people who you happen not to have met yet, and it might be nice to talk to and get to know some of them, especially if they're from a different culture. It certainly makes a holiday more interesting if you do that. The last time I went on holiday I was on my own and I ended up spending a couple of days travelling around with a nice woman from the Netherlands I met at the hotel. It made the holiday more fun for both of us and she did all the driving too. Why go to a different country and talk to no-one except the people you've brought with you from home?

There are lots of Germans in my area of SW London - they tend to be very direct in my experience, so if they have something to say, they will. British people often pussy foot around - we are nowhere near as direct. My German friends get closer quickly - they share quite personal information early on - whereas British friends are, I think, slower to warm up and much more guarded.

Love how seriously some people have taken this 😂

Anyway, shall we discuss Americans now in comparison with Brits?

We shared a house in Utah once with an Arizona couple and a Malaysian couple. The Malaysians were very polite but kept themselves to themselves. The American couple … wow 😂 some of their views and opinions - and they were not shy about sharing them. ive found Americans to be a bit more stand offish than Brits in general and very forthcoming with their opinions - almost aggressively (in my experience - obviously not all Americans are the same etc etc)

its funny you always think of Britain and USA to e very similar in culture but we’re miles apart in reality

Yorkshire folk are generally very chatty. They love to tell you about their grandchildren, next door’s caravan, and who’s died that week.

There is a story which I find hard to believe, that there is someone who met a person from Yorkshire, and had a conversation for over an hour. The person from Yorkshire did not mention they came from "God's Own Country" at all.

You can imagine my plight as a British Indian. The Indian part of me wants to chat and overshare.The British part recognises this may be unwelcome! I try to strike a balance.

All this is lighthearted before anyone nitpicks.

We lived in Germany roughly 3 years ago for a while and we found the people not overly friendly. They all seemed very direct which at times we felt did come across as rude.

My best friend in Sixth Form was German. She used to get really frustrated by the British ‘oh, let’s do something soon’, but then it never materialised. She called us superficial 😄
Lateness also did her head in.

🤣💕