To be sad that I’ve never been proposed to?

[Macaroni46]

I’m a mid 50s divorcee who’s just come out of a long term relationship so am feeling quite bruised at the moment. Despite having been married, I’ve never been proposed to. The older I get, the less likely this is to happen. I still live in hope of receiving a proposal (not saying I necessarily want to get married though!) and would need to find a new partner but am thinking it’s increasingly unlikely. I feel really sad that I will go to my grave never having experienced someone actively wanting to marry me. Am I being ridiculous?

❤️
I feel so sorry for them, just waiting for the man's decision for them to get married. I once replied on such a thread "propose to him" and I got a lot of criticism!
One woman said a woman proposing was "cringe" (sic).
Very sad.

They're just words. I'll propose to you if you want?

Will you marry me? 💕

It's only worth anything if the person would actually be a decent long term prospect and you'd be better off married to them than not.

@PauliesWalnutssame here. I’m really unsure if I’m attractive to men at all & if not, what is wrong with me. I have had men (who were supposed to be friends) be very cruel to me in the past. I literally have not had a boyfriend for longer than 3 months at a time. No man has ever even bought me a present for any reason! I’m 49 now.

And…?

Doesn’t mean she received a proposal.

It’s not all that. I don’t anyone who had a genuine surprise proposal.

OP, please celebrate your uniqueness and individuality. You don't need another person to feel complete or validated.
Everyone knows that a proposal doesn't equate to happy ever after.
Let's celebrate you.
Please treat yourself to something nice or a break away

I proposed to my DH. I was very drunk but he held me to it and we have been married 25 years. I was also the assertive one in us going out in the first place.....I was punching up to be honest 😆. Time has been a great leveller in the looks department. He has always known where the door is if he didn't like it, as my mother used to say! I am not one for being passive and waiting for things to happen to me.

Weirdly my mother told my dad he was marrying her ( she was pregnant) and my sister proposed to her DH in a very romantic, non- drunk way. Maybe it's genetic.

So you both decided? The only sad part of that is so many people focus on a proposal. A shared love and life is the aim. My husband wouldnt dream of a romantic proposal and son did to say he had after it was decided. Might just be the big romantic moment isnt always that

So you both decided? The only sad part of that is so many people focus on a proposal. A shared love and life is the aim. My husband wouldnt dream of a romantic proposal and son did to say he had after it was decided. Might just be the big romantic moment isnt always that

If it’s any consolation it can feel like you are just getting pushed into it/might not be ready/too soon/ wrong reasons.
I’d rather a conversation, then I’ll pick my own ring. That’s why I’m with DH. All the big decisions are down to me!

@Macaroni46i totally get this and hear what you are saying. It’s not about some childish notion of a man going down on one knee or anything so old fashioned. It’s about someone wanting you and expressing it!! I feel exactly the same. DP and I aren’t married. When people ask me whether it bothers me (it doesn’t) I always say “I’d like to know that he WANTS to marry me”. I want to be wanted. And I don’t always feel very wanted…maybe daily life isn’t really like that for most of us. So yes I would love a proposal (but I’m never getting one!)

Op I get it.

What I’ve learnt is that men come from an entitled place and women slot in to their ideal.
You may not find “the one” not because you are at fault but because you don’t fit want “they” need.
Best advice is people that are near you like you. Do more non relationship stuff and hope someone sees “you”

Ffs

Macaroni, will you marry me?

Don't give it any brain space. You could have had a handful of proposals which, at the time, made you think they wanted to be with you - only to have the relationships break down anyway. Onward and upward, summer's coming, get out and about and meet new people.

How many men have you proposed to, not because they're not what you need but because they fit in to some other ideal? If you haven't, does that mean you are as entitled as those men who you think do the same?

No, YANBU. This is something that you want. Everyone has wants and needs in life, and it's OK to have them. I am sorry you're feeling this way - I'm even more sorry at the lack of compassion I am seeing from some people on here. People will find an argument in their own shadow, these days.

Put yourself out there, OP. Use a dating app! You could find one for your age group, or get a toy-boy 😜...maybe even a sugar daddy!? 🤪 Find one of those apps where they wear their heart on their sleeve, in their profile. You never know! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Only if you’ve time-travelled from the distant past or like pretending you’re an Ickle Pwincess with no agency. 🙄

Why kick someone when they’re down?

I’ve never been proposed to either. It is never actually crossed my mind to be disappointed about it. I don’t measure my worth in that way.

I get it OP. My mum had a very long-term relationship with no proposal, no prospect of marriage, which she would have loved. After her partner passed away, she was woo-ed by a new man who then proposed to her. They were in their late 70s - and giddy as teenagers. You never know OP!

I've been happily married for over 40 years but I didn't get a huge romantic proposal. We decided on the way back to the bus station after DH had been visiting me that we should get married and that was that. We are very pragmatic people.

I told my long term partner that we should get married next decade because it’s cheaper and less hassle than sorting out wills and power of attorneys before we get old enough to potentially cark it. I wonder if he thinks my proposal was unromantic?

OP you’re not a failure !
I was in a LTR, thought we would be getting married , he had different thoughts & started seeing one of his work colleagues behind my back for a year , left me for her .
I then met my now Ex husband 2 years after & we’re separated 10 year’s, 11 this October.
I’ve dated over the years but still not found my person, just unlucky in love I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Definitely don’t consider myself a failure & neither are you .
Chin up , you’d never know who we may meet 🤞 ☺️

I’ve never been proposed to or married . No one ever loved me enough .
I understand how pathetic that might sound to some.. , but that’s normally because they’ve already had that !