To cause a mess, leave, and tell everyone else to sort it out?

[DeeJayTee]

This issue is a bit niche but I hope MN will be able to help. Namechanged as this might be outing.

I recently launched military strikes against another country. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really have a plan, I just assumed if I bombed it enough it would just sort itself out. Although I’m not sure what “sort itself out” actually means.

Despite being one of the greatest military successes of all time, the said country has now effectively closed a major international shipping lane, causing economic chaos. This was definitely, 100% unforeseeable.

We don’t use that shipping lane much, so AIBU to withdraw, declare the war a glorious victory, and tell the countries who aren’t involved but who use the shipping lane to sort it out themselves?

I wouldn't worry too much. I'm sure everyone loves you. Could you make start another international incident somewhere else to distract from this one?

I’d probably just cancel the cheque at this point.

I shouldn't worry about it mate. Nobody at school pick up will remember you've been shagging the kids when they can't get fuel. Who does your hair? Looks fantastic!

Maybe invade Greenland to take their minds off it

Aw Donny. Don’t worry. The EU/NATO will be along to clean up after you any day and you can get back to doing what you do best: hosting sports teams at your place with takeout burgers.

This clearly isn’t working out, but you still have that project with your ‘friend’ in Ukraine (what’s his name again?) and that fabulous Gaza Riviera thing to crack on with. Don’t worry, mate. The Nobel Peace prize could still be yours!

Aren't you worried that there might be supply issues for your favourite marmalade shade of foundation? That is much more bigly important than us yokels facing fuel and food shortages.

We've all made mistakes at work.

The best thing to do is not admit you made the mistake, try to blame it on one of the juniors in your team (you have some really inept staff so this shouldn't be hard).

Then write your own performance development review ensuring you get the biggest slice of the bonus pot.

The mess will get sorted out eventually, they always do. I wouldn't worry. Try going for a walk in nature, mindfulness and some yoga and the stress will lift.

Sending love.

The shipping lane is not even closed, it's just that all ships trying to cross will be attacked, but otherwise the lane is totally open, not sure what the issue is.

Are you going to embarrass any UK monarch you come across in the near future? Or maybe, as ever, you can't actually plan anything at all, and what comes out of your foul gob is as much a surprise to yourself as it is to everyone else?

Just nuke the feckers, that'll learn them.

Come on now, the op doesn’t need this negativity, we’ve all started projects and then lost interest when they don’t go the way we planned. People have really short memories op, just hang in in there - tomorrows fish and chip wrapping as the saying goes.

You sound terrific! Don’t worry: just do what you like - everyone will understand either way!

Chin up, we all have bad days mate. It’s hard when everyone expects you to fix your own fuck ups - if you knew how, you wouldn’t have fucked it in the first place! It’s not like anyone where you live is going to be affected by this, so go ahead and leave, make sure you declare it am amazing success so that everyone knows what a good job you actually did. Doesn’t matter if it’s true, your fanboys just need you to say it and they’ll be reassured.

Maybe pick a new target whilst everyone is distracted working out what to do. That will soon make them forget the original mess you made!