Aibu?

[LittleOddSock]

Fully prepared to be told IAMBU but just looking for a sense check.

I don't sleep that great, husband wants to go cycling tomorrow morning and it's my day off. This will mean a 6am alarm and I'm very unlikely to get back to sleep after. I've asked him not to and his suggestion is he sleeps on the couch but wants to go to sleep now meaning I now need to go to bed.

I've asked if it can't be tomorrow evening, apparently not.

So either I have to go to bed (no tv or anything upstairs) or be woken at the crack of dawn. Aibu to expect him to postpone his cycle?

This is a one off… right?

I exercise early (I'll be up at 5am tomorrow) but I put my clothes out the night before and my alarm is on vibrate. I sneak out without waking anyone. I don't like exercising later in the day, plus I have other commitments. Sounds like he's come up with a solution that lets you sleep. Or could you take the sofa?

As he's offering to sleep on the sofa I've voted YABU.

Read a book, watch a bit of TV on your phone or listen to a podcast. I feel like it's a reasonable request for one night, it's not like it's super early either (I mean it's not too early now to go upstairs)

You objected to the original plan so he compromised and found a solution.

And now you’re objecting to that too?

Yeah, YABU.

It's not a one off but usually it doesn't bother me as I'm being woken maybe 30/60 minute before my own alarm so I accept it.

He would need to come through the living room so me sleeping down here isn't something that would make a difference. A vibrating alarm wouldn't wake him so it's full noise and snoozed without fail. Even when he's previously said he won't snooze it after similar discussions, he has.

Just to offer context

Why do you need to go to bed when he does?

Tell him to go cycling, you have a lazy day at home doing whatever you want. You’re not glued together.

its 9.30 so… what’s the decision?

Either way - what time would you usually be getting up on your day off?

Fair enough, it's my only night with a day off tomorrow and I'm half way through a film and a glass of wine.

He came in from being out at football and announced his plans. Maybe I should just go to bed then.

Because he is sleeping on the sofa in the living room and OP wants to watch telly.

OP, can you occupy yourself with something else tonight? A book? A long bath?

Let’s be honest… 6am isn’t the crack of dawn.

and just snuggle under the covers knowing you have the day off

Just go to bed and carry on mumsnetting on your phone

Take your wine up to a long bath or take an iPad/laptop/phone and chuck Netflix on in bed.

Be a supportive partner and pick the lesser of two evils rather than expecting him to give up something important to him for the sake of your lie in when he’s suggested a perfectly reasonable alternative

@LittleOddSock I’m confused 🫤

If he’s offered to sleep in the couch then why wouldn’t you just watch TV downstairs with him until you want to go to bed and leave him downstairs for the night?

YABU of course. Go finish your wine in bed and stop being hard work.

I accept that it isn't that early. I haven't been sleeping well at all so I'm just physically exhausted in the morning at the moment. Like I said, I don't mind being woken 30/60 minutes early most days but I would have liked one evening to just chill out and then sleep tomorrow morning.

I'd be awake by about 8 and kids will be up around 9 so wasn't planning to lounge in bed all day.

Taken the comments on board.

He wanted to go straight to sleep.

A cake and eat it scenario!

In what way? Are you meaning me or him?

Him!

Earplugs

Ah ok, I think that's how it felt for me too but obviously the majority disagree.

He's been out tonight playing football. And was out last night playing football. He runs minimum 3 times a week. I really just wanted one evening, one morning.

I said I'd take on board opinions but still feeling a bit put out.

He never gets up at 6am when he's off.

I have tried but I remove them in my sleep. Have tried multiple different types and do it with them all 🫤

I don’t know.. I think offering to sleep on the sofa all night so as not to disturb OP in the morning isn’t really a having your cake and eating type situation.

He has to sleep on the sofa but gets to go to bed when wants.
She gets an undisturbed lie in, but has to go to bed now.
That seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

He came up with a solution that will stop you being woken up tomorrow, but needs you to compromise tonight. That's perfectly reasonable.

I think it's the fact I was half way through a film and a glass of wine at 9.30pm not especially late. I'd dealt with the kids dinner and drop off and pick up for one of their activities. Had got the little one showered and off to bed, the older one sees to the themself (teen) and I just wanted to watch the last 45 minutes of my film and finish my glass of wine but he came in from his hobby and then it was either, go to bed now or be woken up at 6am.