To think that people on here can be cruel.

[NeedingASafeSpace]

I have had personal encounters and seen alot of people on here who are incredibly rude and passive aggressive to posters. People come on MN to post personal experiences to be torn to shreds… I don’t think it is needed half of the time. Maybe that is just me being sensitive. Ainu

It’s an anonymous forum, so inevitably people feel a bit more confident saying what they actually think and will be a bit more direct. There are clearly some very nasty, bitter individuals but I think most people are fundamentally sound.

I have to say that anyone who comes on this forum for actual advice is a little misguided.

I come on here for advice quite a lot but I end up getting mixed feelings. Some people make equally valid points on both sides of the question I ask/ advice I seek. Sometimes I don’t know what to think in the end. I resort to here because in true life I don’t have people to turn to.

I think you can’t read tone from a few sentences and it often reads like someone is being a bitch but actually we’re almost primed to read that way? I’ve found my mumsnet experience much better when I read everyone’s post with an inquisitive or kind tone deliberately.

😂

Great idea

People sometimes come onto Mumsnet and think we will be all soft and cuddly. Some people are rude, some are not. Some posters don’t like being challenged, or being told they are unreasonable.

Misogynistic much?

Don't like something a woman does - reduce them them to menopausal nutters.

People do sometimes forget that there are real people behind the screen and just as people feel they can be honest when posting anonymously about a situation or problem, people also feel they can give their honest opinion without sugar coating.

There are plenty of posters who make assumptions, but there are just as many poster who are massively unreasonable or behaving in ways that is damaging to their relationships and don't want to hear it.

That's people for you.

I think tolerance for those less fortunate is at an all time low at the moment, never more so than on here, when someone asks a naive or daft question we've seen a hundred times before.

I'm new here ( c. 6 months) and was quite surprised by some of the harsh comments but was advised to not just read AIBU...
I've really appreciated the advice and other's experiences from a post i made last week.
Also, if you have time, mumsnet classics has some absolutely hilarious, joyful and very engaging threads. The " iknow everything", in particular, soaked my tennas.

People aren’t just being opinionated or honest. Often they are just being absolute cunts for the sake of it.

I particularly hate the fashion amongst the bullies on here to repeatedly demand ‘what do you want from this thread?’

AIBU isn't the place.

Try any other board.

See, this is a problematic sentence and a good example. The person who said it could be menopausal herself, so then it might be seen as amusing. Or she could be quite a lot younger, in which case it’s pretty ageist - and possibly still funny if ageism is the type of thing you find funny. It could even be a man, despite the username, in which case it’s misogynistic. It’s often impossible to tell what the intention is.

And some posters are very obviously cruel. They claim it’s bluntness or ‘telling it like it is’. They just like being arseholes to strangers on the internet. Even strangers who are in genuine need of advice. It’s pathetic really. They’re more to be pitied.

What’s worse, asking what someone is hoping for or calling people cunts?

Lovely bit of misogyny and ageism on this thread
if you're female you will be menopausal one day
Its part of life
ageing happens to us all
menopausal should be a term of derision but hey that's how it is on here these days

That laughing emoji or ain't particularly kind. Such hypocrisy.

Not as cruel as some people are in real life.

i became disabled through an accident. Total eye opener.

the guy that blamed me for him tripping over my wheelchair was just the start.

I’m menopausal and you’re not funny. Try better.

😢I’m so sorry to hear that. That must be hard.

😂

Can I have the link to that thread please?

😁.

There are definitely a few responses that fit this description.

I don't like the man hate.

Sometimes a bloke IS coming across as a definite cause for concern - Yorkshire Pudding Man on a current thread is a good example - and I did say I thought that particular 12 week old relationship should probably be knocked on the head. But other times the DH has merely been a bit of a dick - celebrity friend thread for example - but some of the responses were bonkers.

And sometimes the level of venom towards an OP is harsh. None of us are perfect, and someone posts for advice because they know they have cocked-up and are wondering how to put it right, yet they get a threadful of comments telling them how stupid they were and the poster definitely wouldn't have done that.

I know of at least two people in real life who were traumatised and deeply affected by comments they received on their MN posts. One claims it will impact her for the rest of her life.

Lets hope the op can learn from that

Exactly! I generally think everyone comes on MN for validation, and if the crowd can’t give them this, posters believe MNetters are being deliberately rude and hateful to them.