To think that people on here can be cruel.

[NeedingASafeSpace]

I have had personal encounters and seen alot of people on here who are incredibly rude and passive aggressive to posters. People come on MN to post personal experiences to be torn to shreds… I don’t think it is needed half of the time. Maybe that is just me being sensitive. Ainu

No, you don’t. If a comment on MN affects someone for the rest of their lives, MN is the least of their problems. They should probably stay off line.

YADNBU. Someone posted on a thread about bad Yoga manners, this morning and said they’d had the misfortune to be next to man in a yoga class, who was profusely sweating and ended their comment with the word “Repulsive”. I have an extreme sweating condition (Hyperhidrosis) as a side effect of my Parkinson’s and it’s destroyed every aspect of my life. My excessive sweating is on my face, so I can’t work with people or outside the home, I can’t go and browse shops, I can’t socialise without becoming drenched in sweat! I can’t even wander around a supermarket without another customer either coming up to ask if I’m ok (and even once, asking if I needed an ambulance!!) or thinking I’m some sort of addict in withdrawals and pulling their kids away from me. I even once had a checkout lady quietly ask me if I was “trying to come off heroine?” Yes really. Nope I’m not lying. It’s awful. As a result I’m practically housebound besides the school run and dog walks.

I do realise that sweat is associated with things like addiction withdrawals and is also thought of as being unclean, but repulsive? Really???? Sweat is only bacteria-ridden when left on the skin for a long period of time. Somebody just sweating is absolutely NOTHING to do with cleanliness or lack thereof.
So yeah. Just that one comment this morning had me in tears. People don’t think before they type because, well, they don’t have to! Especially with ableist judgmental crap like this, as MN tries every excuse under the sun to refuse to delete ableism! As evidenced by the ridiculous response I got today when I reported the above comment and it was allowed to remain. Thanks MNHQ

Wow! Thats generally insane to be affected so much by an opinion of someone you don’t know or care for.

Wow what an empathy-void thing to say.

You seem to have got ‘generally’ & ‘genuinely’ confused there

I never realised how spiteful and vitriolic women could be to each other until I joined Mumsnet.

They really should get a grip then and grow some thicker skin

Are you saying it is normal for a comment online to affect someone for the rest of their lives?

Did you think we were all fluffy and kind?

That’s a very very difficult condition to live with.

Asking only because I have zero knowledge of this condition: Is this not treatable with medication?

Oh yes. Good spot!

Yes many people are trying to wind the OPs up and get a reaction, it’s incredibly immature.

On the other hand, there are a lot of posters falling over themselves to claim the blazing glory of the moral high ground by heaping as much shame as possible on the OP. I find those threads rather depressing.

Sometimes people are nasty for sport. It says more about them than anyone else but it can feel personal.

Right! I remember had a bad experience on a dating app. The chat was going well on the first day and then the second day of chatting the man disclosed something very disgusting to me. I felt quite shaken up and upset. So I just wanted to vent and have people to commiserate with as I was too embarassed to share with friends online even though I had done nothing wrong.

Some people came at me very nastily and there was a lot of victim blaming despite the fact I blocked and reported the man within a minute or so. I got the “what do you want from this thread” too or “ just move on” or “you shouldn’t have spoke to him for that long before meeting anyway” as if meeting him before he disclosed that thing would’ve been a good thing 🙄 “or what do you expect from a dating app?”

I also feel a lot are bullies and they like to pile on if they smell “weakness”.

When I started giving it back to all of them the pile on kind of tailed off and more decent folk appeared on the thread gradually.

But even then after a few hours I just removed that thread from view and haven’t returned as I wasn’t sure if the tide would turn again!

Definitely don't come on here looking for any actual advice. Too any people troll for certain topics because they have an axe to grind - eg, there are three posters who dominate any and every thread I've ever seen if it happens to have 'SAHM' in the title. They have been at it for years, claiming to be 'have no issue with SAHMs...." Er, I think your posting habits suggest otherwise!

Never mention money on here either.

I’m peri-menopausal - so the target audience - and still found it quite funny!

Nothing unkind in me laughing at it. I love a good - and bad - joke.

Yes I’ve seen some really nasty pile ons here. If you were feeling out of sorts then it could do a lot of harm.

Many threads are started with the same intention. See this one.

its just a joke.Don’t be so serious.My menopausal days are long behind me.

Saying it’s just a joke doesn’t make it any less misogynistic and ageist.

In that case you're old enough to know better 🙄

Obviously not. But I assumed most women had grown out of the vile playground bullying often found in a high school group chat. Naive? Perhaps. Lucky? Yes definitely.

I would never ask for advice here

But even thats a lie because I started a thread earlier because I thought had poisoned myself.

So I dont think this is the place to come if you're sensitive

One thing I do observe is that if there are relationship problems, the amount of name calling of the husband/partner for just bog standard human flaws or slights

And then following on from that, the attack on the OP for 'what are you with him for', 'why did you have a child with him', 'why are you so weak', 'your self esteem is terrible'

Yeah well it is now, thanks

I'm constantly horrified at how posters, presumably mostly women, use the same misogynist language towards each other as men always predictably use towards women. Makes no sense to me. We need some better swear words tbh