Ds 12 just won't go to school after accident

[healingqueen]

Over feb halfterm my ds 12 had an accident on his scooter and fractured his wrist and needed surgery, he knocked 4 teeth out and had a lot of bruising i posted at the time

He had the first week off after halfterm and then went on in the monday but had surgery on the tuesday then had the rest of the week off to recover. the following week he was supposed to go in with a reduced timetable and i picked him up before lunch but he just didn’t go. I have younger children so i had to get them ready and can’t spent time trying to persuade him to get dressed as they’d be late to nursery/school

The bruising has mostly gone now. we are no further with his teeth and he’s in cast still but he won’t leave the house. He hasn’t gone in since the monday before the surgery. He’s barely left the house at all tbh. He’s been out with me a few times but he mostly just wants to stay in his room

I took phone / ipad but it hasn’t made him go to school it just caused anger. he threw his charger at me and said “have it then”. he grabbed his 4 year old brother by the arm when i was in the other room for 5 mins. All I heard was B get out the way and then 4yo was crying.

School have said they can’t offer much else apart from the reduced timetable and just keep reiterating he needs to be in

He broke up for easter yesterday and now doesn’t have to be in for 2 weeks but I dont think this will resolve itself magically over easter.

What do I do??

If he went to A and E initially they would have done a basic head injury assessment at triage, although some signs of delayed concussion may not have been apparent. It is likely op would have been given advice to monitor him and when to seek medical attention.

Are you sure about this? He had surgery so has obviously been seen at the hospital. How do you know that the doctors there didn't check for head injury?

It’s more likely to have been overlooked by A&E these day in my experience.
Based on having to take my child to A&E with two broken wrists after falling off a skateboard. I hope you’re right, but just in case I’m not, would welcome an update from the OP as to what A&E did to investigate and assess his head injury.

Because OP made no mention of it being checked and ruled out and they missed it with my child so I have a lower level of confidence.

Are the knocked out teeth prominent? It’s not a major shock he doesn’t want his peers to see him with teeth missing?

No dentist wow shouldn't keep having children of you cant afford one of the most important health things for a child..sounds like ptsd bless him, I certainly wouldn't have punished him and taken his things show love and find out the root and get a dentist for this poor chid

She said she was instructed to keep an eye on him , he was not wearing a helmet and had a facial injury so unlikely to be overlooked at that time or when admitted fir his op. If he is still in pain with his teeth he needs to be seen sooner rather than later. Has op chased the MaxFax referral?

The poor kid. No need to punish him he hasn't been bad not going to school is his anxiety over how he is looking.
I am shocked he has no dentist. Would you consider start a fund raising for him?

Yes, but no actual scan was mentioned - MRT or CT of his head. No tests run in regards to a head injury. The “ keep an eye on him” is vague and said by rote to all parents with injured or ill children. I disagree it is unlikely to have been overlooked when there has been no mention of head injury tests or care done unlike the detail posted wrt his wrist and referral for the teeth. There is a glaring omission imho.

Why doesn’t your 12 year old child have a dentist? Has he ever had a dentist. I’m shocked at that TBH unless there’s a very good reason (can’t think of one).

the fracture clinic may have been talking specifically about his arm - when they said he was medically OK to go to school.

It sounds like your boy has understandable anxiety about school and mental health issues like anxiety can be just as valid as physical ones.

Can you go on as many NHS dentist waiting lists as possible - if you can speak directly to or email the receptionist maybe they will help get him on a waiting list
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate already !

we're lucky where we are there are NHS dentists, but I wonder if you write an email with about your boy's teeth and the impact it is having on him and send it individually to as many NHS dentists as you can find - maybe that will work and a NHS dentist will accommodate your son

the only other idea would be to use google ai and look up where can I find a private or nhs dentist who will treat children for free in your area

I can remember your other thread.
It sounds as if your son needs some other support before he feels able to return properly.

Can you book a gp appointment to see if they can suggest anything - counselling, anxiety support, further checks to make sure there is no other head injury that may not have been picked up at the time.

Is there any information on the school website in relation to metal health/wellbeing support. I thought most secondary schools had links to such support.

Could he build up things gradually. Are there any friends he would speak to, chat woth online or agree to meet up with?

Whatever age she was, firstly she's a different person. Secondly bereavement is different and routine is helpful for many. Thirdly maybe the timescales she followed were right or wrong for her, who knows.

Of course it's important to be in school, but the boy is struggling after a serious injury.

He is the way he is.

How do you escort a 12 year old who refuses to go?

It was difficult for DH and I combined to get DS out when he was 8 - at least partly because we didn't want to hurt him. It's impossible now he's 12.

We're in a different situation because DS is autistic, but if OP wants to get support for her son's mental health, I suggest phoning everybody. Check out charity run projects and services for young people with mental health problems, call all of them and keep a record of who you call - this way, hopefully you get help for your son and that's great and the best outcome. But if the GP won't do anything (in my experience that make you jump through hoops for this sort of thing) you can show everything you've tried, and you can also show the school that you've tried and that you're being proactive.

If you're on Facebook there are groups for parents of children with EBSA, might be worth checking out as well.

They wouldn’t necessarily do a scan intiially though , unless the triage indicated a high risk. That tends to be follow the finger with eyes, questions related to any history of black out, headache, visual disturbance, confusion etc. CT scans carry radiation risks and mris are rarely available on the spot, OP would have been advised the signs to look out for and, had they reported any, a follow up including scans arranged, but the focus was then on the arm and mouth.

If I'd smashed my teeth out and had broken bones, I think work would give me some time off. He needs time to heal!

Ah poor little dude. My DS is 13 and he was mortified about going into school after the barber trimmed his fringe a bit shorter than he likes it. They are so self-conscious at that age and want to blend in with their peers. My DS was teased about his haircut so I can only imagine what a mean teen would say to someone missing teeth.

Fresh start tomorrow OP, you've got this! Some great advice here already about sourcing a dentist and you have the Easter hols to give your DS some good support. Good luck with it all. x

It sounded from the OP that she wanted to do more to persuade/reassure him enough to go to school but couldn't because of time. I thought I made that quite clear. I quoted the post I was responding to.

I even put ideas to build up to a return if it wasn't possible to get him there because of his health.

I probably wouldn’t want to go on if my front teeth were missing.
Would you?

At 9 I knocked out a lot of a front tooth in an accident , had to have a silver temporary tooth before a white crown was fitted by dental hospital.

So yes, I’m not surprised your son doesn’t want to go to school with missing front teeth. I agree with pp keep ringing dentists and also dental hospital. The wrist will be bad enough but at least it will heal with no scars. And don’t take away his iPad.

As pp say speak to teachers and pupils (friends?) who can bring homework round (do they do that) or if they can arrange online lessons. If not, can he learn from home but just copy the lessons. Via internet.

I was also going to say probably not now but when he had the teeth come out, it’s painful. So there’s that to take into consideration, plus the dental work isn’t the nicest (doesn’t hurt) but can be nerve wracking.

You need to ge5 his teeth fixed, it's been weeks since Feb half term. Poor child I wouldnt be going to work without My teeth so I dont blame him

You need to take your child to a dentist. It's been 6 weeks, he's too anxious to go to leave the house and your essentially just leaving him without 4 what I'm assuming are front teeth

The hospital won't sort out teeth. Maxfax won't give him replacement teeth or repair any broken ones, you need to sort this with a dentist. They maybe able to sort it themselves or reger onto a specialist but this is done by an actual dentist not the hospital.

After 6 weeks or so I'd also be speaking to his GP. He's not refusing for fun, he's either highly embarrassed about his teeth or anxious in some other. You need to actually parent your child

Even my three year old was given a false tooth on a plate by the NHS when she knocked one of her front teeth out. Admittedly that was when dentist were easier to register with, but no kid of OP's son's age should be expected to navigate life and school with four front teeth missing.

Yes, they would have done the triage which is useless in a closed head injury. Directly after a closed head injury, the patient is too unaware or it is too soon to be able to answer on headaches, blackouts or confusion as they are still high on adrenaline and these post concussion symptoms manifest days to weeks after the injury, not hours later.

Yes they would have told OP to keep an eye on him.

I am spotting PCS symptoms in the OP as to her son’s behaviours.

As you have agreed that it is unlikely any tests or scans were done, then I stand by my advice that the OP push for an MRI or CT scan to check for a mTBI.