AIBU to take maternity leave as planned?

[ApricotsAndCream]

TL;DR: should I agree to delay starting maternity leave so that my office has more time to hire cover

I’m pregnant with my first baby after years of fertility problems. The first trimester was rough, physically and emotionally. I’m better now but booked my maternity leave to start quite early. I want time to nest and ensure my physical/emotional health are as good as possible for birth and the newborn stage. Also, it’s frivolous but this might be my only successful pregnancy I want some time to enjoy it.

DH and I always intended that I would be a SAHM for at least a few years so I don’t plan on returning to this job after maternity leave.

I work at a small branch (less than 6 staff, mostly part-time) of a national charity. It’s a ‘mission over money’ kind of workplace i.e. the actual pay is peanuts but you hopefully earn good karma. This does make hiring a nightmare.

Due to miscommunications between me, my line manager and the centralised HR team (and some waffling by my line manager), the maternity cover posting has been placed 1 month before my maternity leave is due to start. Interviews are scheduled for a fortnight before I go.

No one in the office has scope/skills to cover my job even temporarily. And, of course, the cover hire would need time to get up to speed. My line manager has asked if I would be willing to push back my maternity leave dates if needed. For example, if a good candidate has a 1-month notice period, could I stay on for two weeks more?

On one hand, I don’t want to put the office team or the charity in a bad position. If they have to hire a subpar candidate just because they’re available sooner I’d feel a bit guilty.

On the other hand, I have been counting down the days to my leave! There’s so much I want to do for myself and the baby and I just don’t have the energy after a day in the office.

My line manager will also take 10 miles if you give an inch.

(Example: a key volunteer wants to step down but said he would wait until a replacement was found. Line manager put finding a replacement right at the bottom of his to-do list because he knew the volunteer was too loyal to just leave.)

I’m very concerned that two weeks would turn into two months. I compromise too easily and I’m a bad negotiator. And, as I said, hiring is a nightmare here. Previous roles have needed several rounds of adverts to find a suitable candidate.

DH advises to be careful agreeing to anything. Maybe offer to stay a few days extra but no more than a week. I was very vague and non-committal when line manager brought this up and haven’t spoken to HR yet.

YANBU: stick to the dates as planned
YABU: offer to stay a bit longer and take one for the team

I’d personally just keep to my end date, however, you could WFH to help out with the odd thing for a week or two to help them but after that two week period you’re done

Thanks for all the congrats and good wishes :) it’s been really helpful to read everyone’s comments.

No updates since, well, I haven’t been to work over the weekend. I will ask my line manager more details about what exactly he was thinking in terms of length, work pattern, etc for this extension but I’m leaning to not changing or only slightly changing the dates. My time before EDD is a couple of months.

Just to clarify, the maternity pay is statutory so there won’t be anything to pay back (as someone else already guessed). To smoothe things over I was planning to resign during maternity leave so they would have a few extra months’ notice effectively. I feel too superstitious to resign before.

I wouldn't do it. I took my mat leave at 35 weeks with my first and was overdue by 6 days. So 6 weeks of just peace and quiet, pottering about and getting ready in my own way, not stressed about work.
NT: my second came 3 days before my mat leave actually started! I regretted not getting chance to prepare.

Given the journey you've been on to get where you are, take whatever time you need to process and prepare! It is on them for not getting this sorted!

LEAVE WHEN YOU PLANNED TO LEAVE! You will never get this time again and even in the best work place in the world you are still just a number at the end of the day. If you can’t put yourself first during pregnancy when can you? Good luck with everything and ENJOY YOUR MAT LEAVE!!!!!

No way it’s on them and poor planning take your leave when planned and they can move the interviews sooner?

I would say you are sticking to the leave date but would be willing to return for x days to onboard the replacement as long as it is before a certain date. That way you are handing over the job properly but not covering for the company’s slow recruitment

Not your problem stick to your plans.

I’m slightly surprised you would want to go off that early - I went at 39 weeks with my first, and she was ten days late, I was bored rigid! My second I worked up to the due date and she was also ten days late but at least I was prepared!

Tbf though it sounds like you don’t need the money or even anything other than a cursory HR reference if planning to be SAHM afterwards, so if you don’t feel any personal loyalty to the team/manager then you don’t owe them this time, just go for it!

OP I also work for a charity and unless your role literally saves lives or is life or death then just leave when you want to. They will be fine without you, they’ll find someone eventually. I doubt the would extend the same generosity to you if the roles were reversed. You’ve given enough and now is the time to focus on you and baby to be.

There will have been a reason you planned to go early. I’d stick to your guns unless you really need the money (which it doesn’t sound like you do).

I made a mistake with my first of doing too much in the run up. I had professional exams which I sat at the end of the week. My waters then randomly broke too soon (probably due to the stress of the exams, very hot day, lots of walking and travel) and I had a very difficult labour, no time to prepare etc. It’s not an approach I’d recommend to anyone else.

You know if you get hit by a bus tomorrow they will have a costco cake and replace you with a contractor within a week. Stop worrying about the employer. Worry about yourself.

Don't do it OP, you get nothing out of going on maternity leave later if you're not planning on returning to this job (other than maybe stretching out your time earning). I went to just over 38 weeks and went into labour the Friday of my first week of mat leave.

Another older mum said to me "you never get this time back" - time before your first and possibly only child. Sleep as much as you can and just enjoy nesting, pregnancy classes, spending time with you and the bump.

I also had my job advertised late (teaching) and really crap quality cover arranged but there was nothing I could do and ultimately everyone coped.

This is HR’s fault, not yours.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I think: stick to the dates you wanted initially, and then focus on putting a brilliant handover document and schedule in place, ready for your replacement to pick up when they start. Could you offer to come in on ONE day only when your replacement starts, as a KIT day? (Assuming your baby hasn’t arrived by then).

Enjoy that lovely time for yourself, relaxing and sorting out tiny baby clothes!

Fuck the office. I learned the hard way. I did the same favour for them and I gave birth 3 days after my last agreed day. 'To help out'. I could have used those days to prepare. They weren't remotely grateful. Trust me. Fuck the office.

I would go on mat leave on the date you intend to. I work for a larger charity and worked right up with my first DC. I regretted it and went off earlier with my second. The way you’ve described the volunteer trying to leave is not good practice. They will need to sort themselves out and stop being so disorganised. If it’s awkward among the small team jus say you have been advised by doctors to rest as much as possible.

I’m an employer.

Nope

Put yourself first, as they would put the business first and shaft you in an instant if it suited them

Then you know employees have legal rights, and as your employer you have legal responsibilities. Fairness doesn’t come into it.