AIBU that reducing under 5s screen time is way more complicated than just issuing guidelines?

[Lovelygreenpen]

This guidance is welcome. We need to know facts and risks to make informed choices. But choices often aren’t made entirely freely. Think about healthy eating and exercise guidance and how complicated these can be to follow due to costs and time.

How would following this under 1 hour rule change your daily routine?
Most parents need to work all the hours with COLC and decades of rising housing costs. working life also often expands to expect parents to be in contact from home outside of paid work hours.
How are busy parents supposed to manage? How are solo working parents specifically supposed to manage? Any family with more than one child?
And what about the screens used in childcare settings?
What are the responsibilities of the makers of the crazy overstimulating content for babies and kids?

We know women often have to do more domestic labour than men, even where they live with a male partner. Also, that the makers of the content aimed at kids specifically employ addictive techniques.

So how is this pressured wider environment going to change to make this recommendation more realistic?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1d936n7445o

Its just one those things that people use to feel or sound superior i.e. the never held a tablet at 5 (actually a bad thing as they use tablets at school). The poster who thinks screens have replaced books.

Its not all or nothing.

My DD had a tablet at 3. It doesnt have YouTube on it. She's still not allowed to watch YouTube. But she also was 9 months old when we went into lockdown. We had cbeebies on the TV all day every day because otherwise the silence would've driven me insane.

But we also had shelves full of books, that she and 2nd DD frequently visit. Lots of toys and when the TV is on we're usually sat on the floor with them joining in with it or talking to them about it. And both children can sit in a resturant or waiting office without a screen quite happily.

TV and screens is fine AS LONG AS you are there interacting with them alongside them.

Screens become a problem when it replaces interaction and that should be the message. Not a chanty shout at already overwhelmed parents to turn cbeebies off.

How about the good old fashioned book, pencil and paper, painting kits, plasticine, Lego, byo kits, skipping ropes, rings, balls, mini keyboards, musical books, etc., etc.,?

Op most of us managed to work and bring up kids without them being on a device for an hour a day. Mine are teens now but they rarely went on a device until lockdown when they were about years 5 and 7. It really isn’t that complicated.

My first child was born when 'screens' generally meant the TV, and although we didn't consciously restrict TV time he had very little during the day.
We'd generally put in on first thing in the morning if he was up early, and just before bedtime (CBeebies bedtime hour!).

During the day he was at nursery or just pottered around with his toys.

I'm a childminder now and only have a TV at home and just don't put it on during the day, other than the last 15 minutes for an episode of Bluey so the kids don't untidy before home time 😂Maybe 5-10 minutes of something after lunch while changing nappies and getting ready for bed.

I don't think I stuck to an hour a day, but definitely nothing 9-5.

Mine are also carsick so we never had screens in the car.

But it's surely not normal to put kids in front of a screen for an hour by breakfast? And most people wouldn't choose a childcare setting that put people in front of a screen.

This.

Parenting has always been a challenge, giving them screens at such a young age is a massive fail imo. We managed fine with books and colouring etc.

It is a shame and ridiculous that we need guidelines to point out the glaringly obvious.

I definitely agree that it is entirely possible. My mum raised 4 children as a single parent in the 90s while working. We did watch television but we were not stuck on a screen for hours on end. And we definitely could do long car journeys, waiting rooms, cafes etc… without shooting the place down.

I think a good rule would be - no handheld devices for under 5s, and no screens out of the house.

Oh but that will involve parents getting off their own devices and interacting with their kids.

Mine are now 15, 17 and 19. When they were little they used to watch a bit of Cbeebies most days (especially in the night garden before bedtime) but no tablets or phones. I think my eldest first had a kiddy tablet with no Internet just some age appropriate games around 6 or 7.

Our defaults to keep them occupied were toys, books, drawing, play dough, singing nursery rhymes etc. If any if them was upset a story and a cuddle was the automatic solution. Whenever we went out anywhere we'd have books and /or crayons and colouring book with us. They would look at books on their own from a very young age so it doesn't mean you always have to read to them (though we did plenty of that too)

Also they rode balance bikes and then bikes from 18 months upwards so didn't use the pushchair much once they were active and able.

It is totally possible to keep small children entertained without screens. It doesn't require lots of money. Toddlers will happily play with a cardboard box, a saucepan and wooden spoon, pile of leaves etc.

Imho if parents are working full time then the time they have with kids should be even more precious and should not be spent on screens.

My sister always has some things packed away in her bag to entertain small children. My 2 DN have SEN so she got very good at always having something to distract them. When they were small she didn’t even have a tv let alone tablets. Colouring, toy cars, minifigs, small Lego kits - she’s like Mary Poppins!

I agree with PPs that it’s actually not that hard. DH and I both work full time, we’re busy, we have a 6&3 yr old. They don’t have tablets at all, they don’t use our phones, we take books (reading, colouring, or sticker) out with us for entertainment. They’ve never been handed a screen on a bus or at a restaurant. They do long car journeys without screens. They never nag for screens while out because it wouldn’t occur to them, they don’t have them.

Sometimes they probably watch a bit too much tv, but honestly that is us being lazy. I’m not kidding myself that actually it’s some big unsolvable issue that requires time and money to solve, it is just us being lazy.

Mine don’t seem to be impacted by an hour or so of CBeebies in the evening. It’s the only way I can cook dinner and get a few other chores done without them climbing all over the place and causing mayhem. I do try to avoid tablets though. We’ve used our phones etc occasionally on public transport (with headphones or on silent) to avoid disaster but they don’t have their own tablets etc and we don’t use them for car journeys and the like.

the never held a tablet at 5 (actually a bad thing as they use tablets at school).

Nonsense. Don’t kid yourself. It takes a couple of minutes to learn how to use a tablet. They are easy to use and addictive. That is the point.

Exactly. Long car journeys, no a/c, one parent often smoking. We played I spy to pass the time.
I hate seeing young kids on tablets like a zombie, being wheeled round Tesco or sat eating with their family and everyone on TikTok.

There are so many unhelpful and self righteous replies here! Well done if your child doesn't use screens, but it's obviously not as simple as 'just don't introduce screens' or 'just give them a book' because if it were that simple, there wouldn't be an issue.

Obviously it's NOT that simple for some people, so OP I agree that it is a much more complex issue. Parents need to understand the different impacts of kids youtube on a tablet vs watching certain shows on the family tv. We also need to look at WHY so many parents are turning to screens and tablets.

All these people saying kids are perfectly able to entertain themselves, that's what we did before screens, my kids don't have screens...I think are out of touch with the reality and too dismissive of an actual issue. Ok parents need to stop relying on tablets but HOW?

Totally disagree. Tv shouldn't be on all the time. Switch it on, watch something, turn it off. Way too much constant noise/colour for growing minds. I've never read a book with the telly on. The book is the entertainment.

Have you missed the examples people have given of other activities?

I could never live in one of these houses where the TV is on all day as ‘background noise’. And I feel sorry for kids growing up in that environment too.

I appreciate what you’re saying, but my eldest had the least amount of screen time and is the least able to entertain himself - he needed someone to play with him all the time, and lasted less than 10minutes at under 5 without another person’s input or attention. My youngest was able to play on his own for around 20mins at under 1. More or less the same environment (just me and him during the day at home), although more lax on screen time with the youngest. Different kids are different, one size of parenting does not fit all.

It's not complicated. If you're taking your children somewhere they need to sit still (ie cafe or doctor's waiting room) take a couple of books and some small toys.

When our kids did long journeys by car or rail I'd pack each of them a bag with stuff to do: a checklist of things to look for out of the window, puzzle books, colouring etc. It doesn't have to be expensive and just requires a small amount of advance planning.

Nope, I do those as well as my children don't have tablets.

My point is, parents who give their kids tablets know books exist. They know toys, drawing, skipping ropes exist. But they're using screens. So we need to look at WHY. If it were as simple as 'just give them non-screen activities' then why is it such a big issue?

No small screens is a very hard rule in this house. It shouldn’t be a difficult one to police in under 5s.

Very few will glue themselves to a TV for hours, they get bored.

It is literally as easy as don't give them a tablet/phone. They don't miss it if they've never had it. Give them books and toys and take them out to look at the world.

I think probably it needs more education.
Parents need to know that not all screen time is equal.
Handing a 6 or 9 month old a phone with dancing fruit on it so you can perform care tasks like nappy changes or feeding more quickly means you have a 2 year old who can't occupy themselves and a 5 year old with no attention span.
Parents need to know that there is a huge difference between an hour of slow-moving kids programmes with a storyline on a big TV, and an hour of youtube brainrot on a phone held 10cm from their face.

Maybe a 'make better choices' campaign rather than just don't give screens?