AIBU that reducing under 5s screen time is way more complicated than just issuing guidelines?

[Lovelygreenpen]

This guidance is welcome. We need to know facts and risks to make informed choices. But choices often aren’t made entirely freely. Think about healthy eating and exercise guidance and how complicated these can be to follow due to costs and time.

How would following this under 1 hour rule change your daily routine?
Most parents need to work all the hours with COLC and decades of rising housing costs. working life also often expands to expect parents to be in contact from home outside of paid work hours.
How are busy parents supposed to manage? How are solo working parents specifically supposed to manage? Any family with more than one child?
And what about the screens used in childcare settings?
What are the responsibilities of the makers of the crazy overstimulating content for babies and kids?

We know women often have to do more domestic labour than men, even where they live with a male partner. Also, that the makers of the content aimed at kids specifically employ addictive techniques.

So how is this pressured wider environment going to change to make this recommendation more realistic?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1d936n7445o

Lazy parents will ignore every suggestion given @glitterpaperchain. Admit that's what you are and carry on instead of crying it's too hard.

My daughter was born 30 years ago and we lived in a flat. We managed fine. If we went to GP appointments I would take a book to read to her or a few small toys for her to play with. All the other parents did the same.

On public transport we would look out the window and point out things we could see.

I find it sad that parents just want to put a screen in front of children now and not communicate with them.

It’s also about interaction, with adults or with toys. Children just look at screens and this curtails speech, imagination and plus is bad for their eyes.

If it's that easy then why is it such an issue? There's obviously more at play

It’s because tablets/phones hold their attention in a way and duration that is unmatched by that other forms of entertainment, with no parental supervision required to keep that interest going.

Parenting is hard and it’s not inconceivable that people try to make their lives easier so they can get other things done, or a break.

It doesn’t make it right though!

My kids never had a screen till they were over the age of 5.

they had toys

Actually I don’t think I agree. I think it is a simple as not introducing them. It is becoming increasingly clear that screens in the whole are not a positive thing for children’s’ development especially in the very early years. This may have not been clear before but it is very clear now, hence the new guidance. I liken it to passive smoking - parents used to smoke around their kids all the time because they didn’t necessarily know the full impact. Most parents now know the danger and no longer do it.

Where I do agree is that once screens are introduced it may be hard (but not impossible) to wean them off it. I think where screens exist already it’s probably a damage limitation exercise in terms of keeping them away from the most harmful versions of screens I.e. the crazy YouTube fast paced videos, using screens when out and about or at mealtimes and ensuring that where possible screen time is a shared activity where the child is also engaging with an adult and discussing the content.

All these people saying kids are perfectly able to entertain themselves, that's what we did before screens, my kids don't have screens...I think are out of touch with the reality and too dismissive of an actual issue. Ok parents need to stop relying on tablets but HOW?

Out of touch? 🤣 You're joking, right?

Children are easy to entertain without screens and there are plenty of alternatives, many of which have been shared on the thread. The reality is that many parents / carers are too busy with their own devices, or can't be bothered to put the effort into playing or interacting with their children. Screens are the default as they require zero input from the adults.

Parents shouldn't need advice on how to avoid relying on tablets, the answer is simple, there's no reason to give them to babies and toddlers in the first place.

Sorry? My children have never had a tablet, why would you think I'm a lazy parent? What a nasty attitude.

I know it's possible because I've done it. But many parents DO rely on tablets, and I think for the sake of the children we need to think carefully about why that is and what we can do about it. It doesn't help anyone to just dismissively say 'no it's easy not to use screens'. I'm wondering how do we offer support to those who ARE using screens?

Parents shouldn't need advice on how to avoid relying on tablets

But obviously they DO because they ARE relying in tablets. So I'm wondering how we reach out to those parents to support that

The thing at play is parents who dont want to put the effort in. My children are 15, 16 and 18 and didnt have handheld screens growing up. Both myself and DH worked and during one 2 year period we were both in college. My children played games, read, coloured and played other activities.
My middle child spent lots of time in hospital waiting rooms from the age of 5 months old to 10 and I never once handed him a phone, I brought activities and never had an issue with him making noise.
We never used screens on car or plane journeys, I make a pack of activities for them. They added up the number plates on passing cars and played I spy.
Even now they play board games together.
It just require parental effort which many parents dont want to have to do - far easier to stick a device in their hand and say its too hard.

I don't see why this is hard. Don't introduce ipads/phones etc to them at all until they are older. Books, toys, etc exist!

Right, so I'm asking what we should do about that! Just leave them and their kids to it?

@Lovelygreenpen under 5’s should not have screens !

Isn’t that starting to slide into the area of personal responsibility? Who do you think should be supporting parents to do the job of raising their kids? Isn’t that their responsibility? If you have been given guidance on what is best for your kids it’s still your choice how you implement that but I’m not sure people’s first thought should be who is going to help me with this, it sounds hard!

Education campaigns and banning Youtube for under 16s would be a good start.

I think we need to rethink/ remember what kids are capable of and need. Right from birth, babies can be learning independent play and exploration, built up gradually to allow breaks for parents without screens. It's really hard for everyone involved when parents suddenly realise at 3/4/6+ that they want to reduce screen time and need to build that independent play.

How do you think children were kept quiet before screens?

it’s really not complicated! Talk to your child, bring entertainment with you. Before we had screens children went out for meals, took public transport and waited for appointments and their parents talked to them, gave them some colouring, took small games, read them a story…be a parent and engage with your child.

There are numerous studies that show the negative impact on children, that really should be sufficient for parents to stop being so selfish and start playing and interacting with their children - thats what they need to do. Instead they want guidelines changed to suit them and make them feel less guilty rather than considering what is best for the child.
Its very simple, take away the devices and start interacting.

If a child has never been shown a screen they won't want a screen !
Parents need to keep kids off them and parent the old fashioned way yes it's hard work but hard work pays off !!!
I had 2 kids and they didn't have screens because there wasn't any such thing !
Life was hard back then as well !!
It's called entertaining themselves or u interacting with them and there are plenty of ways if u use your imagination and it also doesn't hurt for kids to get bored !!!
That in itself can help them be creative with their imagination!!
Sorry but screens are NO GOOD !!!
Why would an under 5 need one they don't the parents needs it as a easy distraction

Exactly this
my kids don’t spend hours on screens
I hate it when you’re in a restaurant and all you can hear is a tablet playing! Mine had colouring and were speaking to their family

Absolutely! I brought up three, alone, no screens. Worked a mix of full and part time to support them.

Children need good play. This can be developed with some modelling from parents. The parent gradually letting the child build up the time they play alone or together with siblings.

Currently it is a bit of a vicious circle. Child doesn’t play for very long, parent gives a screen. Child knows the screen is coming, child does not focus. Parents need to support their child to extend their play.

Being a good parent is hard work, it takes commitment and selflessness.

How did hard working parents survive before 2010?

It’s not just the kids that have had their attention stolen by devices, most parents (myself included!) have had their attention spans decimated by them.
A huge part of making the change is recognising that and helping the parents.
FWIW we avoid handheld screens as much as possible for DC, even now age 10 we’ll say put the TV on rather than a tablet because it’s less immersive and they do other things while watching TV (currently it’s knitting, but when they were younger they’d draw, build lego etc). Unrestricted screen time is reserved for air travel only!