AIBU to feel overwhelmed by DHs job search in his 50s, business collapse and family illness?

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My DH and I feel so crushed and tired. His small company that he’s run really successfully for the past 20 years has basically stopped operating- the past 18 months have been dire. We’ve now run out of money. I’m working, but with the cost of living, we just can’t afford to live at the moment. It’s getting really bad.

He’s sent his CV out to 100s of companies, but there’s been just 1 interview (and he didn’t get it). He’s in his 50s and keeps loosing out to younger candidates.

It’s heartbreaking to see him go through this. Has anyone the same age been there and come through the other side? His confidence and self belief is rock bottom.
on top of this, he’s just lost his dad and we’re caring for my terminally ill dad at home with us. It’s just all getting too much.
Any recommendations of getting his CV looked at or professional career advice would be great. Or just tips on how to get through this. Thanks.

My Dad was made redundant from a London based financial job in his 50s - it was all he’d ever known, having moved from ‘up north’ to London at the age of 16 and working for a bank. He found it so hard looking for another job in the industry - everyone was younger, had better knowledge of technology and was more ‘hungry’ for it. He got into a really bad place mentally and was very depressed. What made the difference was applying for completely different jobs. He ended up getting a job for Sainsburys as a delivery driver, delivering people’s weekly shops. He loved it. It gave him a new outlook on life. My parents were worried at first as the money was obviously nothing like what he had before but the change in his mental health (and physical health!) just having a job and one he enjoyed, it was incredible.

Just something to think about, I sometimes think when people are struggling to find something in the industry that they want, any job is better than no job and maybe you’d be surprised by what you find.

1. Do something on the side- this could be anything from volunteering or finding casual work in a different industry (eg care home, tutor etc) this is best for mental health. Meet people. Doing something is better than worrying.
2. Network. You have to sell yourself to everyone. Use old contacts. Friends of friends etc
3. Do courses. Learn. Read. You need to stay current.

That makes no difference. You just end up giving away your time and your labour for buttons. Time that could’ve been better spent building something for yourself.

That’ll explain why when my daughter went for an interview, because she actually did want to be a teacher, she was competing against knobs that never intended to spend a day in the classroom

Has he tried NHS jobs? Not a great market due to all the cuts Wes Streeting is implementing, but there might be something: communications jobs - NHS Jobs

Communications/public relations staff | Health Careers

I wish you all the best, it's a tough job market at the moment but it's difficult not to take it personally.

Media and comms is tough, hard enough for younger people atm but older and harder still. Some good advice below.

I'm not convinced by that, you can't just fill your house with other people's dogs all the time, how can you be sure dogs who don't know each other won't attack each other, how do competently and safely feed a house full of dogs? What about medicines, special diets etc! You sound a liability if you aren't totally making it up!

What would people waste time doing it for if they never intend to earn a wage for it?

I can only imagine the smell
I grew up with dogs and they chewed and at ate everything and I was too embarrassed to have anybody around to the house. It stank

Is he signed up for contracting/agency work? A lot of our people have come via short term contracts - with the new employment laws coming in more and more employers value a try before you buy approach. And a lot of places that have cut their agency contracts find they they have skills gaps that they initially fill with contingent labour.

I'd also look at volunteering in a comms/marketing role as it will give him recent achievements to point to and show he can work in house.

Can empathise with this scary scenario - my hubby too was made redundant last May, age 62, then following week diagnosed with a benign brain tumour - luckily operation successful, and he finally got a job in January but it took a long time, and it was so hard to remain upbeat especially as DVLA being so slow returning his driving licence - should have been in November. Also have 92yo mum with dementia living with us so I understand the stress! Wishing you good luck x

Sorry it’s so tough 💐

He can still use AI tools effectively while providing the human judgment, creativity, and ethical oversight AI can’t easily replicate. There’s so much obviously AI generated social media content now, something authentic and human will start to stand out. AI also can’t generate genuine human media contacts.

Brands still need to create clear, compelling narratives, protect reputation, interpret audience insight, and build relationships.

Suggest he gets his profile on LinkedIn if he isn’t in there already, and becomes an active user. He needs to connect with the people he has previously worked with and endorse specific skills for them. Interact with their posts. They will often then return the favour.

5-10 years ago, I'd have said try universities but they are very very squeezed at the moment. Most are in somesort of financial diffiand laying off a lot of staff. Wortt a look though as some hiring in professional services is still happening and age discrimination is definitely not allowed there

At my university we are explicitly forbidden from using ai to make ny screening decisions on job applications as we try to use ai ethically

I was going to do that but I couldn't face the interview. You had to teach loads of kids with absolutely no experience, present a presentation and answer lots of questions. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't.

Thanks so much to everyone and grateful for some insightful advice. We’ll definitely be looking at everything.
He’s already networking, active on LinkedIn, de aged his CV and written things like 10+ yrs experience in blah blah blah, instead of 25 yrs.
We’re looking at downsizing (although tricky when we are caring for a parent with us).
And doing the household financial audit as we speak.
I just wanted to say, that even just hearing how people have moved on positively (even if it’s in a way that nobody had imagined initially) has been helpful and hearing that things are a result of wider shifts and problems in the media industry is somewhat comforting (in its own way).
to everyone who has/ is going through this- just sending solidarity and best wishes to you all. It’s watching the mental struggle that’s the hardest for me rather than tightening the belt and changing our lifestyle. So feeling your struggle too.
💐

I work on that industry and know a load of good people it’s happened to. these days it seems to be all about lack of people actually on the books and ‘cheap’ - be that with actual staff or suppliers - hence I do know many that have got out if it altogether - it is a hard mental shift though as one guy I know really well told me from having his nice interesting job meeting loads of interesting people and a fair degree of flexibility to 5 shifts a week at a warehouse- he’s doing it he says for 2 years to bring in an extra£2k a month that’s needed and then gets him to 60, at which point he’s drawing down £100k off his pension to get him through with maybe 2 shifts a week on top and the very odd bit of freelance that might come up . He’s told me he’s accepted that a return to what was just isn’t happening - so he’s thinking of it as ‘just a job’ and has retired from his ‘career’ - tough I know!!

My husband is 39 and is in the same boat to a certain extent, the same industry. He's found it so hard recently. He's gone through the interview coaching, professional CV rewriting, even the intensive work search support from the job centre... nothing has lead to any paid work. His self-esteem has disappeared now. He feels really useless and it's obviously impacting on everything.