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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In this situation would you offer to switch seats on a flight?

396 replies

Flightquandry · 26/03/2026 00:26

Me and my husband took a flight today that was 10 hours long.

The cabin formation was
2 seats together / aisle / 3 seats together / aisle / 2 seats together.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

As soon as we took our seats the woman next to my DH went into full on chatty mode. When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available. She shrugged this off and then chatted to him incessantly for about 2 hours. I was seated across and behind so could see this and it stung (my problem entirely!)

I fully appreciate that she was in the seat that she booked! But in all honesty in her shoes I would have offered to swap seats with me. All seats were of the same value monetary wise. She even waved at me and then poured herself more drinks and chatted to my husband.

what would you do in her shoes? I would have offered to swap? Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit.

OP posts:
B1anche · 26/03/2026 02:57

PollyBell · 26/03/2026 01:10

So you booked and paid for your seats but did not get to sit in the seats you booked and paid for?

Show quote history

🤦🏻‍♀️ Try reading the first post. It is all in there.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available.

OP, just let it go. She had booked and paid for her window seat. No-one would swap that for an aisle seat.

Strawberrryfields · 26/03/2026 02:58

A window seat is far better imo so I wouldn’t have wanted to swap either. I think I’d have felt a little awkward about not offering though which would lead me to either be friendly (in a weird ‘overcompensating’ way!) or just put my headphones in and ignore the situation. Maybe she picked option one?! Or maybe it didn’t cross her mind at all.

Was she drop dead gorgeous?! Was she travelling alone? Maybe it was just nice to chat? I don’t think the getting off the plane thing was an issue.

In your shoes I can see how it’s a bit annoying as 10h is a long flight and I see it as the start of your holiday together, but it was the start of her holiday too and she’d paid for a nice window seat. No point dwelling on it.

Wordsmithery · 26/03/2026 03:02

Why would she give up her window seat? I certainly wouldn't.
As to getting off the plane together, it wouldn't occur to me that a couple were so needy they needed to be next to each other in the queue. You're partners, not parent and child.

thanks2 · 26/03/2026 03:08

sorry I think you are over thinking this - most travellers would not have offered to change once settled unless a child is involved

you can speak to your husband often - she was clearly enjoying his company

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 26/03/2026 03:11

I wouldn't give away my window seat on a long flight.

I wouldn't let someone chat at me for 10 hours either, that's what headphones are for!

And if your husband wanted to walk off the plane with you he would have let her go through first and waited for you.

MayaPinion · 26/03/2026 03:11

I wouldn’t have swapped either. She had a much better seat than you. I also wouldn’t have cared that you were a couple and wouldn’t have felt the need to let you out - your DH could have arranged things so he disembarked with you had he felt it necessary.

My DP and I don’t pay for seats when we travel, but we don’t expect to sit together. If we do it’s a bonus, but all we do is put in our headphones and read or nap anyway, so it’s not like we’re going to have amazing conversations or anything. At best I might offer him a Polo mint.

NewGirlInTown · 26/03/2026 03:14

Of all the batshit threads on Mumsnet, this wins the prize.
You sound jealous and insecure.
Is your husband allowed to talk to other people, ever?

Topseyt123 · 26/03/2026 03:16

No, I don't think I would have offered to swap seats though I might have considered it if you had actually asked. It doesn't sound like you did ask.

I wouldn't have sat blethering to a stranger for hours either, but that's just me. I prefer to read etc.

MermaidMummy06 · 26/03/2026 03:17

I wouldn't. I'd be happy I had a nice seeat mate for a 10 hour flight, in the window seat I wanted. I wouldn't swap & be on the aisle in a seat of three, constantly up & down or risking rude seat mates.

In the end I'll look after my own comfort!!

AutumnClouds · 26/03/2026 03:17

It sounds like you forgot his shock collar so that’s on you really

Aussiesgettingsmashed · 26/03/2026 03:26

MayaPinion · 26/03/2026 03:11

I wouldn’t have swapped either. She had a much better seat than you. I also wouldn’t have cared that you were a couple and wouldn’t have felt the need to let you out - your DH could have arranged things so he disembarked with you had he felt it necessary.

My DP and I don’t pay for seats when we travel, but we don’t expect to sit together. If we do it’s a bonus, but all we do is put in our headphones and read or nap anyway, so it’s not like we’re going to have amazing conversations or anything. At best I might offer him a Polo mint.

That’s very generous of you.

Fluff11 · 26/03/2026 03:41

Was this your first time travelling or do you not travel often? As you don’t seem to understand people often don’t want to swap their window seat for aisle and visa versa or how disembarking works.

I think the root of this problem is feeling a bit jealous and insecure.

PollyBell · 26/03/2026 04:42

B1anche · 26/03/2026 02:57

🤦🏻‍♀️ Try reading the first post. It is all in there.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available.

OP, just let it go. She had booked and paid for her window seat. No-one would swap that for an aisle seat.

Show quote history

Yes I read the OP 3 times in fact but I quoted the post from the OP themselves for a reason

Just because someone has read the OP does not mean they cant ask questions

Thepossibility · 26/03/2026 04:43

Unless you were actually in your wedding dress with bridal bouquet and him wedding suit I wouldn't have been downgrading my seat for the special couple to sit together and making it my priority they walked down the (plane) aisle together. Batshit.

Shoxfordian · 26/03/2026 04:46

I'd have thought it was funny he was stuck with a talkative random whilst I could read my book - your whole post just seems insecure and weird tbh

Janie143 · 26/03/2026 04:51

Your mistake was not making him wear a sign saying I am the property of Flightquandry, do not speak to me or walk next to me

Lucieintheskywithdiamonds · 26/03/2026 04:52

I wouldnt offer to switch seats, no.

Shiticandowithout · 26/03/2026 04:57

Janie143 · 26/03/2026 04:51

Your mistake was not making him wear a sign saying I am the property of Flightquandry, do not speak to me or walk next to me

Presumably the OP urinated over him to mark her territory though? If not, he’s fair game for any horny woman on the prowl for a solo male on a plane.

FairyBatman · 26/03/2026 05:01

If you wanted to sit together you should have offered your husbands aisle seat to the poor person in the middle of the 3. It always amazes me how people who want to sit together always expect the better seat too.

PollyBell · 26/03/2026 05:06

FairyBatman · 26/03/2026 05:01

If you wanted to sit together you should have offered your husbands aisle seat to the poor person in the middle of the 3. It always amazes me how people who want to sit together always expect the better seat too.

and if the OP was the end of a row why didnt they ask the person they were sat next too if they would swap why did it have to be the woman the husband was chatting too? (for anyone concerned yes I read the OP)

beasmithwentworth · 26/03/2026 05:11

I went away with a friend last week. She is very attached to a window seat and paid for this as it’s important to her. I didn’t and ended up with a random allocation but I don’t care. There is no way she would have given up her window seat. You don’t know if she was one of those people.

The aisle issue is an absolute non issue imo. You file out how everyone files out of a plane.

What is interesting (I think) is your DHs reaction once you caught up after the flight. I doubt you’d have written this post if it had been along the lines of

‘oh god what a nightmare being stuck next to that woman for 10 hours chewing my ear off. I really wish we’d have got seats together’

I suspect he may have indicated that he enjoyed their chat/ flight sitting next to each other and that’s more of an issue for you? I appreciate I may be wrong but if it had been the former then surely you’d have just had a laugh about it and carried on without feeling the need to post on MN.

GCAcademic · 26/03/2026 05:15

Flightquandry · 26/03/2026 00:36

Yeah hard to explain. We were all ready to leave. She knew we were a couple but made sure not to let me in behind him

Show quote history

You disembark the plane by row, from the front. It's bad etiquette and slows everyone down to be trying to jump ahead of people in the row in front.

Strictly1 · 26/03/2026 05:39

She was walking off a plane with him, not down the church aisle! A non event.

Snorlaxo · 26/03/2026 05:39

The only seat changes acceptable are like for like so window seat for window seat etc The other acceptable change is if the other person would prefer your seat. This is usually offering an aisle of window seat to a middle seat customer.

The woman chatted with your h because that’s the quickest way for her to pass the time. You could hear the conversation so you shouldn’t feel bad.

sammylady37 · 26/03/2026 05:54

Describing him as ‘another woman’s husband’ says it all really. Maybe you should brand him with a tattoo to make it clear to everyone in future?