In this situation would you offer to switch seats on a flight?

[Flightquandry]

Me and my husband took a flight today that was 10 hours long.

The cabin formation was
2 seats together / aisle / 3 seats together / aisle / 2 seats together.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

As soon as we took our seats the woman next to my DH went into full on chatty mode. When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available. She shrugged this off and then chatted to him incessantly for about 2 hours. I was seated across and behind so could see this and it stung (my problem entirely!)

I fully appreciate that she was in the seat that she booked! But in all honesty in her shoes I would have offered to swap seats with me. All seats were of the same value monetary wise. She even waved at me and then poured herself more drinks and chatted to my husband.

what would you do in her shoes? I would have offered to swap? Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit.

I wouldn't swap a window seat for an aisle.

What exactly were you worried about?

DH would have loved this! He's very chatty and I'm not. This situation would have been great for us tbh.

No, I wouldn't have swapped in this situation as you had a worse seat, but I also rarely make much small talk on flights if I'm flying for work. But I will remember next time I fly for work alone without DH not to make any polite chit chat to pass the time with the passenger in the next seat if they are male in case there's a wife in the next row who thinks I'm husband stealing, even though I likely won't ever clap eyes on the bloke again in my life. And definitely best not exit with my row either as is the norm on planes, in case I offend a wife who thinks I should give way to her because she's married to the fella sat next to me.

Perhaps you could write to the airline and suggest solo female travellers are supplied with Handmaid bonnets to protect your innocent husband from any sort of exposure to these dangerous women. They could be anybody - they might even be unmarried. The horror. How dare the airline think that a married man should be able to sit next to a single woman without filing for divorce by the end of the flight, don't they know single women are more deadly than your average T-Rex?

Dear me, do get over yourself.

Oh dear. Last time I flew I was chatting happily with the man in the seat next to me and his wife was a few rows away. I frequently fly to the destination and it was their first visit so I gave him a few tips. My bad. Up

You are adults, you don't have to get off the plane together🙄 You sound a bit needy. If i had booked a window seat i wouldnt have offered to swap either. I like my window seat. Not being able to sit together is a you problem, not hers. What are you-5?

I personally would've enjoyed spending 10 hours doing my own thing whilst someone else entertained my husband. 😅

@Flightquandry she paid for an aisle seat in a 2 in a row because she didn't want to have to move to let the other 2 passengers out as she would have to in your 3 in a row aisle seat.
If you really wanted to sit with your husband you should have asked the person sat in the middle seat beside you as you would be offering an upgraded seat swap rather than the downgrade that you expected this woman to accept.
Excepting someone else to accept a downgrade just because you chose to book seats at such short notice that you couldn't select your seats is really entitled behaviour on your behalf

I would have been grateful that I wasn't sat next to an excessively chatty person.

I get what you're saying about having booked and paid for seats together but not being given them - this happens pretty often if you miss a connection, are rerouted, or sometimes even if a last-minute change in aircraft by the airline disrupts the seating pattern that existed when you booked. Seats together are then given first to passengers travelling with children, and there may be only singles left. You should be able to get the seat fee refunded by the airline in this case.

General rule of thumb, though, is that it's reasonable to ask someone if they're willing to switch seats when you are offering an equally attractive or more attractive (to most people) seat. In this case, if the other passenger paid for a window seat, she would typically not switch for an aisle seat - and even if she had the aisle, an aisle seat in a row of two next to the window is still more desirable than an aisle seat in a middle row of three. Asking the person in the middle seat next to you to switch with your husband for his aisle (or window? not sure which it was) seat might have had better results, but probably only if they were also solo.

Why would she assume you or DH would want to swap?! Me and DH see enough of each other at home and I’d happily chat to a friendly stranger for a few hours if the conversation was interesting.

If he wasn’t into it, he could have just put some earphones in. It sounds like you were jealous which is odd.

Exactly! 😂 free in-flight entertainment for him.

If you were that bothered you could have swapped with your husband. Though I think it’s super weird to be this bothered. No chance I’m giving up a window seat for anyone if that’s what I booked.

My husband would have begged me to swap him - he can’t stand chatty strangers!

Why are you still worrying over this once it’s past and nothing can be done? Pointless even thinking about it and you’ll never see her again.

Why didn't your husband let her pass him? That would have made sense too.

Have you not been married for long or something? I couldn't imagine being this annoyed that someone didn't let me exit a plane behind my husband. The seat situation, you weren't offering her a window seat for a window seat, she clearly paid for a window seat because she wanted one, why would she swap her chosen seat for a random person who booked too late? There's nothing in this woman's behaviour that is odd, it's you who is being weird over her sitting next to your husband. Did you ask the person next to you to swap (assuming they weren't sat with someone)?

No I wouldn’t think it’s weird. She paid for a seat and sat there.

I think it’s weird your husband talked to her for so long if he didn’t want to - why not start reading or put earphones in or even close his eyes for some rest?

No, I wouldn't have changed. If you want better seats, book further in advance.

But I wouldn't have wanted to talk to your husband either.

YABU. I love a window seat and would not want to give that up for an aisle just so an adult couple could sit next to each other.

I’d focus more on why his a woman talking to your husband “stung”.

I wouldn't offer to swap no - actually it wouldn't occur to me to offer - you're both perfectly capable adults. I'd consider swapping if asked nicely, but I wouldn't be too happy swapping a window seat for a middle seat.

Funnily enough, I was once asked to swap by a woman who was making a fuss about not wanting the window seat. Me & then-DH were sitting next to each other, but with the aisle between us iyswim. Swapping would therefore put her between me & my then DH. I didn't want to tbh - but she was making an incredible fuss about being claustrophobic and needing an aisle seat, and I couldn't be arsed with her drama, so I did swap with her. (She didn't chat to my DH though 😂)

I don’t understand the fuss TBH. Dh and I often don’t sit together, since he always wants a window seat, and I want an aisle.

Sometimes the person in the middle offers to swap, since they assume we must want to sit together, and I’m sure they often think we’re weird when we decline with thanks.

In case anyone thinks we probably talk across Middle, we don’t.

I wouldn't have swapped seats if it had a window seat, but I would certainly have let you exit behind your husband rather than sandwich myself between the two of you.

I've never been on a flight like people are describing above where people exit rigorously row by row. Lots of people hang back to let things get quieter or get held back in the scrabble for cabin baggage from the lockers.

If you didn’t like her talking to your DH, you should have swopped seats with him

Similar happened with my XH, except I was across the plane and a couple of rows back from him. He spent the entire 9 hour flight happily chatting to the woman next to him and then, when we came to get on our mini bus into the city, stood back to allow me to take the single seat on a row so he could take the seat next to her. Given that we were on a supposed romantic long weekend I didn't appreciate it 🙄

In your situation- I would have swapped, if you were swapping like for like, but I wouldn't give up a window seat for an aisle. Mind you, I wouldn't have spent any time at all chatting to your husband either, tbh.

Did they join the Mile High Club?