In this situation would you offer to switch seats on a flight?

[Flightquandry]

Me and my husband took a flight today that was 10 hours long.

The cabin formation was
2 seats together / aisle / 3 seats together / aisle / 2 seats together.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

As soon as we took our seats the woman next to my DH went into full on chatty mode. When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available. She shrugged this off and then chatted to him incessantly for about 2 hours. I was seated across and behind so could see this and it stung (my problem entirely!)

I fully appreciate that she was in the seat that she booked! But in all honesty in her shoes I would have offered to swap seats with me. All seats were of the same value monetary wise. She even waved at me and then poured herself more drinks and chatted to my husband.

what would you do in her shoes? I would have offered to swap? Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit.

My husband and I always book aisle and window in the same row! I prefer the aisle, he prefers the window. There's no reason we shouldn't be able to do that!

Of course, we never talk across the person sitting between us (sometimes though we get lucky and that seat remains empty). That would be extremely rude. I bet that anyone who has ever sat between us has left the flight not knowing that we even know each other.

Oh, by "short straw" I didn't mean the seat... I meant stuck talking to a chatty stranger for 2 hours!! But then, I am a miserable old curmudgeon 😁

Sounds like you have jealousy issues OP. Sorry but this is entirely a you problem.

Was she chatting at your husband or was he conversing? She may only like to sit at window seats, it was a long flight she wanted what she had paid for! I think you're cheeky to expect her to move.

Don’t be daft, there’s no rule against chatting to married people! Maybe your husband enjoyed the chat, and that’s perfectly okay! You are coming across as possessive I’m afraid.

For a 10 hour flight I absolutely wouldn’t give up a window seat that I’d chosen where I could lean against the wall/window to sleep, to swap for an aisle. No way.

Although I wouldn’t chat to the stranger next to me either - I want to be left alone!

I also wouldn’t have waited for you to catch up when leaving the plane. I want to get off quickly and I hate it when people dither and loiter. Ideally you file off by row so I would have been ready to go and followed immediately behind my aisle seat neighbour whether together or with anyone else or not. If you’ve managed the flight without each other, you can manage the extra two minutes to be reunited on the jet bridge. Of course if you need assistance for that bit, he should get out of the window seat’s way and then stand aside to wait for you.

What an odd thing to get bother by. To be honest I feel sorry for your partner if you overthink about a simple interaction,

To answer your question no I would not swap seat with you. If your dh was that bother he could have offered to swap seats with the person next to you. The following him out is normal as people get off by row normally, I don't actually think I would think to let you go ahead.

The chatting must have been so annoying for your dh but as others said he could have easily put in headphones/go to sleep etc.

What exactly are you bothered by? And why is it on the woman and not your dh?

I don’t believe this for a minute. I’ve been stuck between a couple that did this. Openly admitted they were hoping to “get lucky”, said they wouldn’t talk over me and genuinely seemed to think they were being considerate. In fact, it was a lot of “oh sorry, David can you just…” all in hushed tones which just meant she kept having to repeat herself. Annoying fuckers

Obviously they shouldn’t have been able to book that (booking systems ought not to allow you to leave one seat empty). If they like window and aisle then they should book on separate rows.

But once the situation has happened, the correct etiquette is to allow you your choice (not their choice) of swap to either window or aisle.

If they don’t want to have to give you that choice they ought to ignore each other the the point you wouldn’t even realise they’re together.

Oh @Flightquandry, so jealous… I would love this tbh. 10hrs of peace and quiet for ME. I would find it extra hilarious because my husband hates chatty people (or maybe just people?). He would be gutted to be sat next to a talker.

I remember we were once both on a flight together sat in a row of three. I was on the aisle, he was in the middle, and there was someone sat next to him at the window. The person sat at the window talked to him the whole journey, even when he kept trying to put his headphones on. I was shaking so hard trying not to audibly laugh. I did not get involved!

Sorry you don't believe it but it's true. We each carry our own stuff, as we would if we were not traveling together, and have never spoken one word to each other when someone has been sitting between us. (My husband tends to fall asleep before the plane takes off and sleep through the whole flight!) I'm sorry the people you were sitting between weren't so considerate.

Not a chance would I swap my window seat. Also I always pay to make sure I am sat next to my husband.

There is absolutely no reason why booking systems shouldn't let you book the aisle and the window seat! And if I've booked an aisle seat there's no way I'm moving to the middle seat. But I absolutely agree with your last point, and this is what my husband and I do.

I think the point everyone is trying to make is that if you wanted to sit next to your husband, you should have booked two seats together. If they were already taken, then you clearly left it too late — and that isn’t anyone else’s problem.
And why was it the woman’s responsibility to let you out of the row anyway? Surely that was the job of the man you’re married to, no?

😂 I would actually love to see someone try to get 2 hours of chat out if my husband 😂
It sounds a bit annoying, OP, but you do need to get over it

If you ignore each other to that extent (rightly) they’d be nothing wrong with having seats in separate rows though - it wouldn’t affect you.

I think it shouldn’t be allowed because others don’t behave as you do - they talk over the person in the middle - and there’s no way of policing it - or rather it wouldn’t be at all policed. So this is the only way of stopping it.

You wouldn’t have to swap as the person would never know you were together! But others who don’t behave correctly would have to swap, another way of preventing that behaviour.

Well, I probably would as I would prefer an aisle seat to a window seat. But lots of people are the opposite, and I can't blame her at all for wanting to keep her own seat. If I were in an aisle seat and you offered me a window in return, I'd say no. I don't know why you didn't ask the person next to you though, most people in the middle seat would probably be happy to swap, unless they're also with someone. But I can't imagine being bothered by her talking to my husband, or walking next to him as he leaves the plane. What did you imagine happening - that he might fall in love with her in the 10 hour plane ride, and if you weren't right next to him as he disembarked to grab hold of him, he'd decide to make a run for it and set off for a new life with this woman? I think if you think that was a possibility, she is not your issue.

Yes. No big deal. I read my book then get off when we land. 🤷‍♀️

Honestly op. Most people would have been glad to read their book . It's seems very odd that this would annoy you. Are you generally a bit jealous about things like this?

I don’t think we’re ever going to find out why OP didn’t ask the person beside her to do the swap.

Probably because she knew her husband wouldn’t want that middle
seat and didn’t want it herself - but that’s hardly chatty woman’s fault!

Asking anybody to swap seats on a plane is really frowned upon now that every seat can be a different price and many people have deliberately booked early to be able to choose specific ones.

Not in a million years would I ask someone to swap or offer to do so.

What a waste of time to give something as trivial as a person in the same row as your husband having the audacity to leave the plane in the correct way, which happened to be behind your husband, a second thought.

(a) She had already booked a window seat so an aisle may not have interested her as she could have already done so when she booked on the basis there were at least 2 free.

(b) Did you and your husband even ask her if she was willing to switch seats? Did you ask the person next to you in a middle seat if they would rather switch to your husband's aisle seat and your husband downgrade to the middle seat?

(c) Did your husband at any time say I am going to read/watch a film sleep now? I simply don't believe that they chatted for the full 10 hours and if they did then he wanted to.

(d) The leaving is a non issue. Plane etiquette is you leave row by row. Further your husband could have let the rest of the row out and then nipped back in his seat until you "caught up" to where his row was and then come out in front or behind you.

(e) Instead of fuming I would have watched my films or read my book without having to deal with another person interrupting me

(f) 94% say YABU so YABU.

I wouldn’t have swapped seats if I was in a window and had to go to an aisle seat.

OP ignoring all the questions about seat type makes it obvious that the woman had a better seat. So no, I wouldn't be swapping.