DH leaving toddlers alone in the bath

[Hundredsplendedsums]

DC are nearly 4 and 2. DH usually does their bathtime as we have another baby.

The last few nights I’ve noticed him put them in the bath then come downstairs, yesterday it was to look for his iPad and today it was to vacuum the floor! I got really annoyed and said I would not leave them alone, he said I was overreacting and that I ‘do it all the time’ (I definitely do not and would not leave them unattended in the bath).

IANBU am I?!

You can't leave young children alone in the bath AT ALL.

Yes it is annoying having to bath them yourself every time to make sure they are safe but far better than the potential consequences of delegating this task.

How can he think that vacuuming the chuffing floor is so urgent that toddlers have to be left unattended in water?

Give him a less high stakes task to do instead.

Id forgotten all about those ads! On the TV in the waiting rooms at all maternity appointments. There were some other safety ones too. On rotation. For the entire excruciating wait after a fasting blood sugar test. I think I had them memorized word for word by the end!

Yeah I would absolutely freak out over this.

Never leaving them alone in the bath under 6, car seats, keeping medicines out of reach, not decanting chemicals, covering ponds if you have them, helmets on bikes. All basic safety requirements as a parent and not up for negotiation or testing with what any parent may consider their more enlightened views on parenting or child safety.
The bath supervision is just a non negotiable. The risk is very real and consequences can be catastrophic. If he can't or won't do it then you have to do bath time, or bath time is cancelled if there is a night you can't do it.

Total idiot of a man.

Basic common sense!

Other ones
Drinking weed killer out of a coke bottle because someone decanted it in and a child thought it was coke.
Thinking the medicine tablets were sweets and eating a bottle of them (before safety caps) and then a dramatic 999 call.
And the horrific getting hit by a train because the children were playing on the railway line. They boosted the volume up of the train and filmed to just as he looked at the train a second before he got hit. The train noise and the scream merged in. Cut away to shocked and grieving parents.
They were brutal but effective.

They weren't effective, they were just memorable.
What's effective is safety measures (child proof caps, high fences next to railway lines) and better education for parents as well as children.

My ex husband used to do this when the kids were 4 & 5 ish! He used to sit on our bed opposite the bathroom, slightly out of sight, but he used to shut his eyes and meditate!! Its used to make me feel terrified.

I very quickly realised that he was emotionally detached and this was just an extention of it. I quickly realised there were many other things he did that unnecessarily put the children at risk, eg he used to let them run up to the side of the road with out holding their hands etc. A normal parent would feel that parental need to keep their child safe, I dont think he felt it tbh. Does your husband do other things that worry you?

You’re pushing your luck, and he’s an irresponsible idiot.

Stop leaving tiny children unattended in water. Full stop.

Excuse my language, but fuck no. I didn't leave my kids until I knew they had good basic swimming skills and could right themselves if they submerged. Your partner neess to tow the line on this. A compromise is getting them into swimming lessons, and making a judgment based on their progress.

Your dh needs one giant kick up the backside for being an absolute and total knobbing arsehole. Neither of you should ever leave toddlers alone in the bath even for a second. Honestly your household sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

Is he a bit simple in general?
Everyone knows you don’t leave young ones unattended in the bath. Drowning can happen in a matter of seconds in as little as 2 inches on water.
Also drowning is silent so he’d have no idea it was happening.

All it takes is a second.maybe leave him with the baby and you bath the other two.

He's willfully endangering his children's lives for the sake of getting the hoovering done. Wtf is wrong with him?

I was definitely not a perfect parent with bath supervision. When mine were 3/4 I'd sit on the landing just outside the bathroom hanging laundry (it's where out airer is, or if I was feeling lazy, sit on the closed toilet doomscrolling and only keeping half an eye. But even by my lax standards, on another floor and unable to hear them is insane.

Bit late to this but I really do feel this has to be weaponised incompetence - is he just pushing the boundaries to the point where you'll say "Oh FFS, if you can't do it safely I'll do it!" Whatever the motivation, deliberate or he's just an idiot it's very, very dangerous and shows a distinct lack of care about the DC's safety and wellbeing.