DH leaving toddlers alone in the bath

[Hundredsplendedsums]

DC are nearly 4 and 2. DH usually does their bathtime as we have another baby.

The last few nights I’ve noticed him put them in the bath then come downstairs, yesterday it was to look for his iPad and today it was to vacuum the floor! I got really annoyed and said I would not leave them alone, he said I was overreacting and that I ‘do it all the time’ (I definitely do not and would not leave them unattended in the bath).

IANBU am I?!

He is probably doing it to get out of ever having to do the job again,

I hate this. DH used to complain about me wanting things “my way” when DS was small (even as a baby). No. Not “my way”, just THE WAY. Dickhead…

My friend was left in the bath when she was little. She turned the hot tap on and was really badly burned and scarred for life.

All the above. He is insanely incompetent and dangerous. Make sure he doesn’t do bathtime for the foreseeable future, and he MUST take on board that he is absolutely wrong, no discussion.

Unbelievable, the man is a complete idiot.

Agreed. Privacy for a 3 year old (under these circumstances) is strange.

Never leave a child in a bath alone, even for a second. Higher risk with siblings present.

The HV will talk through education, warnings and safety, not reporting to social care. However I should think an internet search together will bring up real stories enough to have him never leaving them alone again. You did right in asking on here OP. Now time for that conversation with him.

My almost 4 year old family member died after being left in the bath. ( fairly recently and made the news) It is so dangerous, I’m a fairly relaxed parent but there is no way on earth I would have left mine for even 10 seconds at that age. It’s literally life and death.

You'd like to think that but you're very wrong. I work within the service and it would totally depend on which health visitor you get on which day. People have been reported for way less than this. You don't know the family's history eg if one of the parents is a care leaver then they'd take this even more seriously or if they check with GP (which they can do) and discover either of the parents has ever had mental health issues.

I’m a fairly lax parent but would NEVER leave my kids in the bath. So much could go wrong so quickly.

He’s completely unreasonable. I am afraid to say it on mumsnet, but at that age I did leave my kids in the bath and do chores. But it was get pyjamas or go to the laundry room, same floor, fill the washer come back. Not
downstairs and not out of hearing/more than 30 seconds (I used to count)

I’m pretty easy going but leaving a child in a bath is so dangerous. It’s like leaving them in traffic. Something goes wrong it could so easily be death. I felt sick reading about some of the stories on here. Imagine coming back from doing some tasks to find your child drowned. It’s a painful thought. And it’s such a preventable accident. Housework can wait.

@Hundredsplendedsums the two yo is too young to be left in the bath alone. Your DH should not be counting the 5 yo as suitable supervision. The 5 yo would be devastated for life if anything happened to the 2 yo.

I even think 5 is too young, but if they wanted independence by that age, I would make them sing throughout whilst I was in the next room able to run in if I couldn’t hear them.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/prosecution-guidance/gross-negligence-manslaughter

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7190401/amp/Sarahs-asleep-Heartbreaking-words-Jeremy-Hunt-uttered-sister-dead.html

That’s really sad 😔

Edit: didn't check later posts, it's here already.

Jeremy Hunt was in the bath with his baby sister, they were left alone and she died in it. Look up the story and share it.

No you never leave children that age in the bath.

You need to do bathtimes and never leave your children unattended. Your husband is negligent.

Can you trust him to listen to you OP?
If not please do not let him do bathtime with the children again.

Years ago my neighbour did this with her little ones that were the same age as yours, and left them while she hung up her washing.

Went back upstairs, and the 2 year old was unconscious, had stopped breathing and was blue/grey.

It was a Saturday afternoon and luckily my dad was in and he managed to resuscitate her, whilst my mum phoned for an ambulance.

1. Kids can drown in inches of water.
2. Drowning is the biggest cause of deaths for under 5s.

YANBU of course. He is an absolute idiot to think this is ok. I'd consider myself to be more on the lax side of parenting but I wouldn't dream of leaving a child under 5 in the bath. My youngest is 6 and I go in to the bedroom to fold clothes but I'm in constant conversation with her and if she goes quiet for a couple of seconds I immediately ask if she's ok. I still wouldn't be going downstairs while she's this age.

I knew of a family where the 2 year old brother drowned and died whilst sharing a bath with his slightly older sister when the dad left the room. Dad served a prison sentence for neglect, wasn’t allowed unsupervised care of his children or grandchildren. The sister had enduring depression into adulthood and had her own children removed from her care due to neglect. I can’t state strongly enough how the tragic death of that child was “just the beginning” - generations of that family are continuing to suffer decades on.

Terrifying. Hoovering? So he couldnt hear them if one of them shouted? Seriously?!

A little different as mine is older (10) but has absent seizures so needs supervision. There’s no way on earth I’d be leaving him to go vacuum, if I absolutely have to leave the bathroom because I’ve forgotten the towel I’m back in a flash and tell him to keep talking to me.

Its completely unacceptable to be leaving a 4 and 2 year old in any amount of water for any amount of time.