Crap… think I’ve made a mistake…. Aibu to think I can reverse it?

[ReverseReverse]

I was having a hard time at work, lots of pressure and change, and decided to hand my resignation (about ten days ago)
But since I have, things have settled down and I’m thinking I might have made a mistake. Is there any way back? Aibu to think maybe I could stay? I don’t even know how to go about finding out :/
yabu - no that ship has sailed
yanbu- they might let you stay

Nah after 10 days in my place not much would have progressed (it’d likely be with HR to go to some committee) so it would be WAY easier to just cancel the resignation!!

edit to add: it’s easy to imagine how you’d feel. Once you’ve done a few rounds of recruitment then you’d think “sod that”. The trouble is you can’t plan when someone will leave either so you add the recruitment in to whatever else you have going on! If one of my reports handed in their notice now, I’d bite their arm off if they changed their mind 🤣

Pity that's your instinct instead of being a supportive employer. I wouldn't want to work for you.

Presumably you rate your reports highly

Do you really still want to stay? Whenever I’ve handed in my notice on a job I’ve had enough of, I immediately start liking it again. It’s something about the pressure lifting, knowing I won’t have to keep at it, plus feeling a bit nervous about what’s coming next. I’ve been tempted a few times to stay, but realistically know I’ll soon go back to being fed up again. Of course if you have another job to go to it’s usually best to get on with it

If they are a good employee would you not want to investigate why they felt that way? If they have been a good employee until then, it would be way more time efficient for you to chat to them and make any changes needed than to recruit a whole new person who might be worse at the job. But each to their own I guess

Also if you ask and they say no it's not necessarily a reflection on you. My employer is not always in a position to replace like for like so it sometimes results in some kind of restructure or rejigging if someone leaves. If you leaving has eased a pressure they may not be able to replace you OR keep you.

Yes but it’s also the factor of having a stable team in place during a busy time - hence if OP has had no other issues it is worth her asking. They may yes, they may say no, in which case nothing lost.

It can do no harm to explain you had a change of heart. But they might make you reapply so no guarantee you'll get it back. But hopefully they could just revoke it if it's not too late?

If they need a staff member and you've done nothing wrong it's less hassle than finding someone new. But it depends on their processes.

When I handed my resignation in at my last place they made me two different offers to keep me and said they would happily forget about the resignation letter, so it depends on how much they want to keep you.

i didn’t take their offer and did leave.

They would have done that when they received the resignation letter if they’d been anxious to hold onto op, not wait until she wants to rescind it?

From your own point of view, as opposed to that of your employer, how would you feel if things turned to shit again? Would you resign again? I totally understand that knee jerk response to stress - we’re all different - so perhaps you need a job that isn’t likely to be stressful.

This is actually a good point.
OP you can only ask.

If you're good at your job then there is a good chance they will let you retract your resignation, but if you plan to stay then you are going to have to prove that you are committed to the company and not just focussed on being paid until something better comes along.

And when promotions come around people that buckled down rather than bailing out under pressure may be looked on as better prospects.

What was their reaction when you tendered your resignation?

Many years ago I got headlocked with my boss about something and offered my resignation. He refused, I calmed down, we found a compromise and I worked there very successfully for another 4 years. So if they like your work they may be keen to retain you.

Did they ask you your reason for resigning? Could you back track and make an excuse why you don't need to anymore if your place still stands?
I think if you're a good long standing employee with a good reason to why you need to retract your resignation, there's a good chance they will keep you on.

It's not as unusual as you might think. Have the conversation.

We took back someone who gave notice and went to work for another company. After two weeks there she realised she’d made a mistake and asked to come back. Which was fine, we all liked her and she knew all our systems and clients well etc.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Worst they can do is say no. Sounds like you could do with some time off with a Med3/Sick note for stress, if they do let you back.

However, it's not the end of the world and you'll eventually find something else, if they say no. Try not to kick yourself.

My now manager left his job when he was doing the same job as me, hated his new job and came back a week later. He was then promoted as well.

This happened to me a few years ago. My employer took me back, but 6 months later I decided I was really not happy in the job and wanted to change course, so then resigned again, worked my notice and left. Have never regretted it and now work in a role to which I’m much better suited- trust your gut OP.

I did this exact thing a couple of years ago. I spoke to my manager, they let me stay and I got a pay rise! I had to have a meeting with three directors which was slightly cringe but was worth it in the end.

I resigned from a job with nothing to go to, then was asked to stay a couple of weeks later (they had also immediately expressed regret etc) and I accepted and stayed for another year. The improvement in work conditions didn’t turn out to be all that good. I saw the job advertised again a few months ago (so that’s 4 years later) and did think for a moment to apply again but it would be embarrassing all round as it would be the same people doing the interviews and working with.

Another possibility is that since you have resigned the company has decided not to replace, in which case they might not take you back - seen that happen before.

But the only way to find out is to ask.

Hm, just thinking about how I would handle this request if I was your manager.

If your departure was a real inconvenience, i.e. your work really needed doing and I hadn't yet found someone to do it, I'd probably agree to let you stay.

But my opinion of you and trust in you wouldn't be the same after that, and I'd be making future decisions around development, promotions etc. on the assumption that you have one foot out the door.

If you’ve never been a problematic employee then they’d probably rather have you back as it’d be a lot of time, money and hassle to recruit, interview and train a replacement.
No harm in asking, other than your pride - probably a risk worth taking.