AIBU to expect neighbours to keep loud kids indoors before 9am?

[GreenSingingFrog]

New neighbours moved in recently a few doors down, and now the nice weather has started their 3 kids have been out in the garden each morning. It starts at 7.30am and they’re very loud and scream constantly.

I don’t mind on a weekday, but it’s the same time at the weekend too. It’s waking us up and we’re not even next door so must be worse for those closer.

We didn’t let ours out until about 9am at least at the weekend and I’ve brought them inside on occasion when they’ve been arguing and screaming, to sort it out without disturbing everyone around.

AIBU to think they shouldn’t let the kids out until more like 9am if they’re going to be screaming continuously?

You're incapable of stopping your kids from screaming? You need to parent better 🙄

Yanbu.

I’ve never left mine out in the garden before 8.30am on a weekend, and mine don’t scream, however I still upset one of my neighbour by existing….
No noise comes from our house 8pm-6.30am during the week, and 8pm-7.30am on a weekend however we’re in a terrace and due to work, school and sporting commitments weekends don’t mean lie ins sadly.
We try and be as quiet as possible but one side still complains very regularly that we are waking them up when they want to lie in.
They’ve reported us before but were told that the noise we were making was acceptable living noises that you would expect from a family home, with children which is literally a stones throw away from a school, but it has really soured neighbourly relations so I would tread very carefully before complaining to them.
Our neighbours on the other side have said they very rarely hear us, we hear them as one of them works early shifts so hear the car leave etc if our windows are open but tolerance is really important when living alongside each other and we have a good relationship with them.
Last time our grumpy neighbour complained I pointed out that most people would love to live next door to us, we’re out of the house all day, the kids go off to bed fairly early, we never have loud parties, don’t upset anyone with bins, parking, antisocial behaviour etc but they can’t get over the fact that our children don’t want to lie in bed until 9-10 on a weekend …

I cannot tolerate that high pitched screaming at any time of day so if my toddler starts doing it he comes right inside until he stops.

YANBU, that would do my head in too.

The problem is mainly the screaming, not the early hour. Screaming is a choice. I remember my father being annoyed with screaming children in the gardens around ours. I also told my children when they were smaller: it’s great to have fun, but the neighbours don’t want to hear it! An occasional scream, of course that’s fine. But the constant shrieking arghhhh!

I find silicone earplugs due the trick for me to block out noise - and I live on a busyish terraced street in London.

I love a lie in especially now my children are teens, and don’t find that children, adults, lawn mowers or whatever wake me up if I put ear plugs in.

7.30 is a bit early but it’s very hard to police the whole world - as I said, I’m a lie in person, but I’d say after 8 am noise is probably fairly standard.

I do think that children should be taught not to scream constantly though. It’s not their “natural method of communication” at all, any more than screaming and shouting is for adults.

My DS has ASD and he is much better behaviour-wise and has better general wellbeing if he gets sunlight soon after waking up. The winter is tough for this reason.

I do try to keep him quiet, but it can be hard sometimes as he is a very loud child. Trampoline is not permitted at that time of morning, but he squeals if he sees a hoverfly, etc 😂

I'd be gutted if my neighbour complained about us being in the garden in the morning as it's a lifeline for us. I do bring him and DD in (we have a one out, all out policy) if they are getting rowdy, but it's not like I can demand they whisper.

I don't think 7:30 is extremely early, either, but my perception may be skewed by having a child who is up by 5am every day.

Yanbu op. Any unnecessary noise before 9am or after 9pm is just bad manners.

I didn't use to let my children scream generally - obviously excited playing sounds and the odd shriek totally fine. But if they actually started screaming I'd bring them in to calm down for a little bit.
We also used to say quiet play in the mornings - save ball games etc for a bit later.

No need for them to be screaming though

Nope.

Screaming kids hits me like nails down a blackboard.

I used to give my kids one warning when they were little and if the screaming continued I hauled their arses back inside.

Laughing and playing is fine. Being a bit loud is fine, they are children and children make noise. But when it tips over into yelling and ear piercing screaming? Too much. They have to be taught that's not ok.

8am is fine as long as they’re not screaming. My child doesn’t scream when she plays. I disciplined her once when she tried to copy another child at playgroup.

Everyone immediately jumping on the kids “screaming” element. It’s entirely possible this is a bit of hyperbole on OPs part and really the kids are just occasionally loud at times when playing.

I wouldn’t allow my children to run around screaming as it would absolutely do my own nut in, never mind the neighbours! Children make noise and that’s absolutely fine but constant screaming? Nope! It’s annoying but there’s not much you can do about it really. I live right next to a primary school so I think I’ve learned to tune out the irritating screeches.

If you live in a city or area where houses are close together there will be noise.
We have cars all night going past should I suggest cars stop during hours of darkness.
What is the definition of screaming, what I call screaming others may feel they have loud voices when they are talking. If they are doing it all the time you will get accustomed to it and fall asleep again.

Have the immediate neighbours complained?
Children been outside reminds me summer is here, should we not celebrate end of winter and longer days.
We were all children at one point and as we did these children go through a phase.
My view I hope they are having fun.

It's not the playing out which is the issue. It is the screaming and shouting and volume of the playing. As a rule I generally keep my DC out of the garden until 9ish.

It was difficult in those toddler years when they wake at 5am and by 8am have turned into destructive noise demons and nothing is open. But it's on the parents to keep noise levels down or bring them in if they get rowdy.

Have they had a garden before? Just I have a friend who moved to a house with a garden after years living in a high rise flat and she was a bit of a nightmare the first summer with letting her children out in the garden at all hours because it was a novelty and "why we bought the house". Her neighbours did complain and she brought it up when we were chatting as a group and we all explained that letting your children out at 8am to play football or on the trampoline isn't really appropriate. We also told her she had to tone down the hot tub usage and constant lighting of her fire pit. She wasn't been malicious with it, she was just over excited at having a garden for the first time and having lived in London in blocks of flats her entire life she was clueless with garden etiquette. She had bought a detached house but still had neighbours.

Some people however are huge CFs and use the garden as a free babysitter and will shove them out there at 8am and expect them to stay out until 9pm so they can have peace in the house and not care about the noise they make.

Because the only choices they have are screens or screaming in the garden. Obviously. 🙄

Good God, I’m glad I don’t live on your street. Learn to parent.

And adults also have the right to enjoy their rest and their gardens. I don’t get why parents allow their kids to scream so much these days. Mine were brought in immediately if they started doing it - at any time of day not just mornings.

10am was my rule when they were small. Lazy parenting chucking them outside. Go to the park

I think everyone has a responsibility to be mindful of their neighbours. Everyone. That includes noise before and after certain times of the day. That includes children, it includes asshole dog owners who don't bother to train their dogs and think everyone wants to hear them barking all day every day, it includes machinery.

Everyone also has a responsibility understand that children are children and they will make noise. Is it annoying sometimes, undoubtedly. But too bad, as long as it's reasonable noise at reasonable times.

But children screaming is absolutely not a natural communication mode, come on to fuck off that. Noisy, yes, shouting, yes, screaming, no.

I lived with a large play park behind me for 22 years (put in after I moved there), the noise in summer was horrendous, I eventually moved to the country and have no neighbours, absolute bliss 😂

You sound like a right joy

I think kids going out to play is reasonable from about 8am.

Kids screaming continuously is not reasonable though, at any time really.