All men should be aware of this

[mildlysweaty]

I went for a walk in the sunshine around the back of my child’s school before pickup today. Usually the odd dog walker passes by but it’s pretty remote/foresty. I do this walk often but never go fully into the woods bit alone - because I’m female.

I was walking towards the woods and a person with long hair was walking my way - wrongly assumed it was a woman but when I passed them I realised it was a man in his 30s. I’ve passed plenty of men before walking their dogs, generally they give a nod and carry on. I started to feel a bit uneasy so rather than continue in that direction, I stopped a little further then turned around and started walking back (same way bloke was going).

I was a few feet behind him when he looked back over his shoulder back at me, then he stopped (with his back to me) and started opening his backpack. I felt bad vibes, there was no one else around. I managed to speed walk past him and pretended to phone my husband and had my car key ready to use if needed but all was okay in the end, I then passed some women walking.

In all honesty it could’ve been totally benign but any decent man should know that this sort of behaviour is intimidating for a woman, who’s alone, especially with nobody else around.

To get to my point: ALL men should understand how women need to be programmed to be wary of them, and how they can help is by ensuring they aren’t doing anything that could feel intimidating. They don’t know what it’s like to be a woman, but any decent man should be aware and conscious of how their behaviour may impact. I have reminded my husband of this today. It took a while to shake the feeling from this afternoon.

if voting I guess YABU = men don’t need to know this
YANBU = yes they do need to know this, it’s a way they can help

How dare you.

My son did not ask to be raped, had never been involved in criminal activities, he doesn’t go to pubs or drink.Posts like this beggars belief. The male hatred on here beggars belief. Just vile.

Also women break the law and engage in criminal activities. Are those that do and end up raped not worthy of sympathy or care? Rape is rape whatever the circumstances or lifestyle of the victim.

I haven't actually seen any men saying that. I have seen posters accusing people (myself included) of being men because whilst acknowledging and understanding op's anxiety, we don't think the man did anything wrong. I have seen one man wondering exactly what the right behaviour would have been.

I'm so sorry for your son. Honestly, so much of this seems like old fashioned sexism, women are weak and need to be protected, men are big and strong and should never be afraid (eg men should never be afraid when walking alone).

Maybe he felt uncomfortable at you suddenly turning around and seemingly following him?

I know!!!!

No, you're not getting the memo, it is unreasonable for men to feel uncomfortable when outside alone, especially if the "threat " is an innocent, delicate woman. He's being a wuss/stupid if he thinks he's at risk around a woman.

Well not if a woman makes accusations when he’s perfectly innocent it isn’t unreasonable to feel uncomfortable.Women can also strike people from behind with a weapon and try being a gay man or a man of colour.

What planet are you on? The ignorance and sexism on here is off the scale.

I got off the train at 10pm last night onto a quiet platform, and checked my messages while walking.

I looked up to see a man walking towards my direction extending his arms to his sides in a manner that would have had his right hand on a trajectory to collide with my body. He seemed intoxicated.

I am 50kg and 5'4" so not a large person, but have a well practiced resting bitch face, straightened my back, and ploughed on. He retracted his arm enough that it did not collide with me, but his arms remained outstretched. I kept walking, put my phone in my bag, listened for footsteps, and got my keys in hand - just in case. Looking around, I saw that he was still where I passed him.

We do come across people like this who either want to intimidate or attempt to assault you. So, I get how it feels in the moment.

However, that does not mean that every male is a threat and needs to vacate the area simply because I am there.

Thank you for this information. I suspected that it was much greater than actually being attacked by a stranger.

I sincerely hope that the OP seeks some form of therapy so that she gets over her fear of men. Living your life in fear is no way to live your life.

This reminds me of a talk I once attended on racial micro aggressions where a young, heavy set Nigerian man spoke about how every time he queued to use an ATM, the white folk in front would start behaving strangely, looking around wildly, getting flustered, etc. All this strange behaviour based on their prejudice and racist assumptions; their perception that they were in danger of being robbed. Imagine having to deal with that every day...

When we see a woman in a hijab we don't think 'She's a terrorist and she's out bomb something' because the reality of that thought is bizarre and ludicrous and is one that is formed through bigotry and prejudice.

I'm just going to leave this here in the hope that some will read it and think about it:

Prejudice is a preconceived, usually negative, judgment or opinion about an individual or group formed without complete knowledge, often based on characteristics like race, gender, religion, or age. It involves unfair, irrational attitudes that lead to stereotyping and discrimination. Prejudice stems from cognitive categorization and can cause social conflict.

In your first post you speed walked past him, now you are saying he was blocking a narrow path.

"I'm just going to leave this here in the hope that some will read it and think about it"

How very condescending of you....

Maybe he thought you were following him? I would feel incredibly uncomfortable if I walked past someone on a secluded path in a wooded area who then turned around and started following me. I may pretend to be looking for something in my bag to let them walk past me.

I don’t find it condescending at all. I do however find the posts that dictate all women feel like victims and men as predators which dismiss those of us who don’t fall into line as very condescending. Ditto those pedalling discrimination and dismissal of abuse suffered by men and both sexes who have encountered difficult lives .

Me too or that we’re “not getting the memo”. Patronising or what! Don’t tell me what to think thanks.

It can't be a good thing for women to be so hyper vigilant that they see every man as a threat. Very sad this is what it come to.

Can't work out what's the worst part. Your spite against women, or the fact you think women fear sexual assault because they think they're so 'awesome' they attract male attention.

Your being very unreasonable 😂 YOU turned around and started following HIM. Maybe he was intimidated of you??? You can’t avoid men completely. Seems like the poor man was just living and you made him feel a type of way.

I've been thinking about this overnight. The title says all men should be aware of this. Of what? Normal behaviour by a man who's being followed? Yes all men should be aware that if being followed they should take action like putting distance between himself and the follower. That's exactly what the man did. Now let's stop treating him like a potential attacker. He did nothing wrong. It's horrendous how some women treat men like this when they are completely innocent.

There’s something suspiciously aggressive about this thread. It doesn’t read right. I’m thinking bots.

43% said you weren’t being unreasonable. Thats not reflected in the tone of the thread.

So those of us that have the audacity to disagree with the op are bots now!😳

I have anxiety, that sometimes makes me perceive a threat when it isn’t actually there. It’s not a nice feeling. But that doesn’t mean the other person has done something wrong and it certainly doesn’t mean they need to modify their behaviour!