AIBU to think weekly mass at Catholic schools feels quite intense?

[Endoftheway]

My DH and I have 3 children, we are going to be moving after summer to a new town, quite far from where we are right now.
Our children are baptised Catholic but really we don’t go to church much, I’d say it’s very much cultural Catholicism more than true belief.
Anyway the town we are moving to has one secondary school with a very good reputation, but it’s hard to get into as it’s a Catholic school, the admissions criteria right now has

1. Baptised Catholic Children attending a feeder school (any of the about 7 Catholic primary schools in the wider area)

Since that is the first line of the admissions criteria we are looking at the Catholic primary schools. Our children are currently in a Catholic primary school and I’d say the religious element is notable not all consuming, they have lots of children in the school who aren’t Catholic and many who are other religions.

What has shocked me is, the Catholic primary school we are looking at has a weekly mass, that is open to the public and all pupils attend, the above mentioned secondary school also has a weekly mass open to the public.

This has shocked me, one as the secondary school is losing a period a week to mass and as I find it hard to believe enough of the children are actually Catholic!
I understand that these are Catholic schools and I am all for prayers in assembly, and a general Catholic culture but weekly mass seems quite unavoidable for any children who aren’t Catholic or who are questioning religion.

AIBU to think this is quite intense? Even my schools growing up weren’t like this!

Fair? So it is said Catholic schools are providing the best education. There are secular schools, which you advocate. Why aren't they doing that?

It wouldn't be my bag, I'd send my kids to a different school. If there's no actual choice then you have to suck it up, move somewhere there is choice or go all out and refuse to allow your child to attend mass. Which given the school can actually discriminate on grounds of Catholicism is probably not going to fly.

Had this growing up but only on occasion did the school go to Mass. I dimly recollect it for All Saints or Soul's Day, most of the big feast days were holidays from school. There were prayers at the start of every class, which I resented as an atheist but it was the only school locally [in Ireland].

Im now an atheist but was brought up catholic and went to catholic schools. We had a weekly mass in Primary. If people don't want their kids to have a catholic education they need to send them to a non dominational school.

Its only once a week and probably helps the children in a spiritual way

I went to catholic schools at both primary and secondary. I’d agree a weekly compulsory mass is a bit much - especially for the pupils, who won’t want to be there. (Show me a girl at my Catholic convent secondary who did, and I’ll show you the token odd bod.)

No harm done, it taught us how to cope with being bored shitless - a useful life skill. We sent our kids to Catholic schools too. They’re complete atheists as a result 😂 Sometimes, the quality of the school overall outweighs a minor inconvenience.

It’s Brits’ demented obsession with ‘good schools’ that has people with fuck all interest in religion start to fake Catholicism as soon as they get pregnant. If the local ‘good school’ was a Hare Krishna school, they’d all be signing up for that. Just do what people in other places and send your offspring to whatever school is nearest, on the grounds that most schools are adequate.

There’s absolutely no inherent reason why a Catholic school is going to be any better than the local comp. Especially , if, as the OP points out in horror, the kids are missing class for Mass! Surely all the non-Catholic schools who don’t waste time on all that pesky praying, should be charging ahead?

OP-are you one of those posters who say, whenever anyone objects to the existence of faith schools “Oh a little Christianity doesn’t do any harm”?

I was catholic schooled and that sounds about right to me (although mass wasn’t open to the public when we had school mass).

I think if you’re getting Catholic schooling it should be ever present - and we definitely had multiple religious touch points throughout the day in terms of saying prayers etc.

The views on contraception etc were only ever taught in RE, and we had very normal teachings on contraception in PHSE. I don’t remember same sex relationships or sex outside of marriage coming up (other than to explain they were not okay in Catholicism), but there were plenty gay kids and my parents are unmarried so there was no shame etc attached to it.

Don’t send your kids to catholic school if you don’t want them to do catholic things…

Don't like it don't apply.

Please tell me this is a joke. Ooh is the "faking your way into a better high school" faith primary school a but too faithy for you? Sod. Off. Please do not waste their time.

DH is Catholic, and the school is absolutely excellent, so I suck it up.

I also view atheism as the absence of belief in any gods and the denial of their existence, both of which apply to me. I’m not against anything, in the sense of actively being against it. I just don’t believe it.

My main priority is getting DD to very best education I can to give her the best possible prospects and options in what is becoming an increasingly competitive world. If that means a bit of religion and her attending mass, that’s fine with me. Also, half her family are Catholic and actually do attend church on a regular basis. We can’t both win.

Your being a bit silly to be so surprised that a faith school is providing regular opportunities to practice the faith

I wouldn’t send my children anywhere near a catholic school in the first place. We’re atheists & besides this, Catholicism should remain in the 1500’s

What do you actually think the point of a church school is? Like surely it's having stuff like this?

My primary aged children like Mass with school, and the parishioners love it. It gives the school choir a purpose, they learn how to behave in public and puts off people who want to send their children to a Catholic school without the Catholic bits.

Even my eldest's secondary, which is far more diverse, has compulsory Mass and doesn't make exceptions for children of other faiths. Their view is don't like it, don't send your child here, and people know where they stand.

I wouldn't send my child to the (excellent) local Hindu or Jewish schools but as Catholic, why are you objecting to your children being encouraged to practice their faith?

The Catholic girls’ school in my town growing up had famously strict nuns who it later emerged did beat pupils.

It sounds as if another school would be better for your children. Don’t underestimate the effect of all that shame and guilt.

If your children are Catholic and it's a high performing school, I don't see what the issue is? Catholics are supposed to go to mass weekly and it's clearly not affecting their education.

What is ‘cultural Catholicism’ ??????
Weekly Mass is normal. If you don’t want a Catholic education don’t choose a Catholic school.

Wait till you find out there probably run by priests and nuns!

Its normal for faith schools? Many CofE schools are the same. My dc had a weekly church service all through primary. Collective worship/assembly is something all schools have to do anyway.

My children are at catholic primary school, they have fortnightly mass in church, plus regular assemblies at school, extra masses at Easter and Christmas and a mass diary to get signed from weekend masses for communion and confirmation years. Yes it’s a lot but if you want your children to go to that school it’s kind of a suck it up situation. If you dont agree with it then find a different school

Weekly mass was the norm at my Catholic school 25 years ago. It wasn't that big of a deal. We all quite liked getting a big chunk of the morning out for the walk to mass and back again, doing something different. A midweek mass is also quieter than a Sunday with everyone so it was quite peaceful.

Yes, I agree with you.
Ours was on a Thursday morning. It was nice to get out of the classroom.

Jesus wept. If you don’t want your children to go to weekly mass (an obligation in Catholicism) then please don’t send them to Catholic school? Do people really only care about school league tables at the expense of literally everything else?