AIBU to think weekly mass at Catholic schools feels quite intense?

[Endoftheway]

My DH and I have 3 children, we are going to be moving after summer to a new town, quite far from where we are right now.
Our children are baptised Catholic but really we don’t go to church much, I’d say it’s very much cultural Catholicism more than true belief.
Anyway the town we are moving to has one secondary school with a very good reputation, but it’s hard to get into as it’s a Catholic school, the admissions criteria right now has

1. Baptised Catholic Children attending a feeder school (any of the about 7 Catholic primary schools in the wider area)

Since that is the first line of the admissions criteria we are looking at the Catholic primary schools. Our children are currently in a Catholic primary school and I’d say the religious element is notable not all consuming, they have lots of children in the school who aren’t Catholic and many who are other religions.

What has shocked me is, the Catholic primary school we are looking at has a weekly mass, that is open to the public and all pupils attend, the above mentioned secondary school also has a weekly mass open to the public.

This has shocked me, one as the secondary school is losing a period a week to mass and as I find it hard to believe enough of the children are actually Catholic!
I understand that these are Catholic schools and I am all for prayers in assembly, and a general Catholic culture but weekly mass seems quite unavoidable for any children who aren’t Catholic or who are questioning religion.

AIBU to think this is quite intense? Even my schools growing up weren’t like this!

As did St Teresa of Avila. You are in good company.

FFS - dont send them then!! You want a catholic school but dont want it too 'catholic-y' 🙄 Just look for a CoE which sounds better suited. When i was in school we had mass DAILY, did confessions WEEKLY.

Friend works in a catholic primary school in Glasgow, they go to mass in the local church on the last Friday in the month, and on special holy days.

If you don't like it, choose another school.

Every single primary school and secondary school where you are moving are Catholic? Rubbish, I do not believe that at all. And yes, all church school even CofE have a church element to them, what do you expect? Either suck it up and your kids will have to go to the mass, or find another school

My DC attended a C of E primary with weekly Eucharist service in the associated church.

I think it’s par for the course if you choose a religious school…

Totally normal for Catholic school. I had to go to mass at school as well as on Sunday. On the plus side, you say the school is good so all that mass obviously isn't doing the pupils any harm.

This is why we moved house rather than get stuck with the nearest Catholic school (two of the closest schools were churchy).

We're atheist so didn't think it would be a good fit for our family.

YABU OP! 🤔 Religious schools do exactly what they say on the tin!

I have no idea if this still happens. 😀
I remember as a child wondering what the bereaved family made of us kids trudging into the church. Especially during one funeral where my classmate had an epileptic fit mid service.
I had forgotten about the funeral services until you mentioned them!

Then don’t send them to Catholic school. My daughter goes to a catholic secondary. And that’s the norm. Our school criteria was that you had to be going to church weekly as well. And had to have it signed off by the priest.

Your problem could be easily solved by simply not sending your children to a Catholic school.

It's quite simple really. If you don't want your dc indoctrinated, don't send them there.
Good luck

"but weekly mass seems quite unavoidable for any children who aren’t Catholic or who are questioning religion."

I've been trying to resist the obvious answer to this, but non-Catholic children can actually go to a non-Catholic school. It really isn't compulsory. As for children questioning religion. Well, children and young people generally do (which is a good thing). Weekly mass isn't going to make them life long devout Catholics. In fact exposure to religion will help them make their own choices. And if weekly mass offends them that much, then they're in the wrong place!

YANBU. It's terrible that you have to be Catholic to get into the best school in the area - how is that fair? Schools should be secular and not depend on the religion of the parents and them forcing it on their kids. It's disgusting that the system still works that way in this day and age. The church should not be having a hand in deciding kids education.

YANBU to want to get your kids into a good school without forcing religious indoctrination onto them. I'm amazed that people don't seem to get that.

I know right. The Pope will be going to church next...oh, wait...

I think it is like cafeteria Catholics. They pick and choose.

What makes it the best school in the area?

Even in Ireland you have an option to attend a secular school . My family paid a lot of money for me to have a Catholic based education. Mass was in a classroom and the preparations involved picking relevant readings which stretched our comprehension , explanations of why the Old Testament readings were relevant to their age in history , picking hyms , singing , reading texts . All good skills that I use many years later.

Practicing Catholics are obligated to go to Mass on Sundays . You and your DH should know these basics .Once a week in school is perfectly acceptable and not intense at all . A Mass can be 20 minutes or 1 hour with hyms etc. I image the readings will be as also appropriate as most of the New Testament is . In this increasingly worrying times a chance to reflect , wish for peace and harmony in the world and repeat the message of kindness is not a bad thing.

You are getting a hard time here OP but you really walked into it . You can't expect a school with a Catholic ethos to not embrace the rites of Catholicism. And if it is offense to your sensiblilties , you need to as everyone else has said to find a different school .

DS had chapel 6 days a week when he was at school 🤷‍♀️

Or........just don't send them to catholic school.
Or.......do and accept that they will have to attend catholic mass once a week.
It's not that complicated.

I think you are being unreasonable if you are sending your children to a Catholic school and then not expect them to practise their religion regularly. At our school they attend Mass every other week but weekly is not abnormal. Send them to a non faith school if you don't like it.

Don't all Catholic schools have weekly mass?

I went to Catholic school and had weekly mass at school at the church just opposite the school. I am agnostic and it really didn't feel like a big deal/distraction at the time to go to mass - more like an assembly like others have mentioned.

It doesn’t, though. Sunday Mass is an obligation, not weekly Mass. But as the OP’s utter horror at her children being exposed to a weekly Mass at a Catholic school is what she posted about, it’s hard to imagine she’s a regular Mass goer.

It’s one hour of the week where they won’t be on their phone and if they are not interested in what is being said (quite likely) they be alone in thought and it won’t do them any harm at all.

Mine went to an RC Primary and Secondary. Prayers every morning and at the end of the day. Ditto before and after Lunch. Masses were frequent. Religious Studies taught a lot. I mean, it goes with the territory, it's a Catholic school.