Maintainence man manoeuvred my 3 year old out of the way

[tooloololoo]

Today I was in a bakery with 3year old dd, she went to look at the cakes whilst I ordered. However the maintainence man kept manoeuvring her out of the way back to me whilst I was ordering because there was a vent by her legs. It resulted in dd having a massive meltdown and throwing herself on the floor

On reflection am I being unreasonable to think the maintainence man could have walked me instead of taking ds shoulders and walking her back to me?

At first I was distracted at the till and didn’t realise it was a maintainence person

when ds was younger if I had to let go of his hand for a second to pay or whatever I would tell him to hold my leg then I would be able to feel if he let go and started to wander off. I used a little life backpack while I was training him to do this!

I had to touch a strangers child once.

They were stood chatting in a supermarket on a retail park where the automatic doors led straight onto the busy carpark. A very small child wondered from them and was stood by the automatic doors, I called to the people chatting and got no response as the child went to step out onto the carpark. I gently took their shoulders and brought them over to the chatting women, who were just like "ok" .

It felt it best to touch the child than let them wonder onto the carpark.

She's three, you dont let her "go look at the cakes" whilst you pay. You are supposed to be holding her hand/carrying her while she is looking at the cakes. Take responsibility for her. You sound annoying and entitled. If you dont want your child being "manoeuvered" out of an area they shouldnt be in, then take more responsibility for your child.

I felt that a visual might help 😉

I'm more intrigued as to how long it took you to order cakes if he had to repeatedly bring your child back to you. How many cakes did you order?!?

Can't really say because OP has not described the environment.

If the guy was doing work in a coned and taped off area and the toddler toddled in, then I would say perfectly ok to use a guiding hand to encourage a toddle out of the area. We know nothing about the size of the shop, the size of the work area, what tools etc.

I suppose the case could be made that the shop should close for work, but again no info from the OP. Something such as a wet floor, trip hazards, extension leads might need instant intervention.

But we don't know.

I would rather intervene if a toddler was shuffling towards my open toolbox rather than watch a stumble into said toolbox for fear of touching a child.

What do people mean fall down a vent?! I’m imagining a wall vent. I can’t think what else there is

Is this a reverse?
your child was in the way in a shop. You weren’t watching him. She could have hurt herself on something or got under the feet of an elderly customer. Just hold your kids hand or put them in a pushchair. They can run about and let go at the park.

This was a common theme when I worked for a well known retail outlet. They had travellators up/down. The amount of times I had to stop a small child running down the travellator and heading for the carpark was astonishing. No thanks from the parents either, just a shrug 😬

Do you not realise he was trying to keep her away from danger?

Get a set of baby reins and look after your DD.

Do parents use reins anymore? I did when mine were small for exactly this reason. So I could keep them close to me. I can remember being told that I was treating them like animals I said ' better I treat them like an animal than they end up dead'.

100% agree with this.

Reins are the best invention for toddlers ever! They can have some independence and when need you stil have control to stop them darting off into a road or slipping out of your hand. My sister was a bolted and reins saved her many a time when she was a child and mum with dealing with two other small children.

Why are you letting your 3 yr old loose in a shop? Doesn’t matter if it’s a small bakery you keep her under your supervision. Basic parenting, and the fact someone could ‘manhandle’ her, however innocent, shows how important it is for parents to keep their young child with them.

I didn’t want to mention poor Jamie but I see someone has. Hopefully that will make you realise how important it is to keep your child with you.

Please stop with the "don't put hands on my child". If a child is in danger and unsupervised all adults have a responsibility to take action...in this case taking the child to the mum (multiple times).

Op is very, very unreasonable to complain. I despair at the need to blame other people rather than take accountability. She should have said "very sorry" and grabbed her child away

True, though.

Get a grip, OP.
Control your child

You do know you are supposed to parent your child don't you? Do your job.

I would have been tempted not to bother unless that was your job - clearly the parents couldn’t be arsed about their kid !

I would have them stand in front of me, rather like a baby penguin.

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of lackadaisical parenting I see. Even this morning a mum held her kids hand to cross the road, which makes a nice change here, but then let her run ahead in the car park! She was about 3. 🤦‍♀️

People are imagining it was to stop the kid falling down a hole when I read it as more likely getting her out of his way so he can do his job.

Remember James Bulger? He was abducted from a small shop while his mother was distracted, then was brutally murdered. That led to many parents using reins in order to keep their toddlers close and safe. You need to have your little one right by your side where you can see her and be certain that she can't wander off, even for a few yards.

Up to you to look after your child. YABU

That last sentence should be a wake up call for you!

This. I once had to grab a small child to stop her from stepping in front of a lorry on a busy street. Was I wrong?

It wasnt my job but its very hard to not react when seeing a small child running towards danger.
I wanted to do regular tannoy announcements reminding parents to keep an eye on their children but I was told no because it would be discriminatory 🙄 i asked who it would be discriminatory to, but didnt get an answer 😬

Dear god why do people keep talking about Jamie burger?!? Taking your eyes off your child for a few seconds or minutes happens thousands of times every single day, in every shop in the country.

It’s quite disturbing that people are quoting one tragic incident from 30 years ago as a potential or even likely outcome. How anxious and unpleasant to have a brain like that.