She ate all the biscuits

[Imissmusic]

I got a pack of chocolate chip cookies for today after dinner for everyone to have a few-Dd has a balanced diet but we don’t have a dessert or biscuits, crisps etc every night or in the house that often-more on weekends or if we bake something.
I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day.
I went to have a shower, when Dd came up to bed, she told me she looked everywhere for them, found them and ate them.

Would you be cross? She’s 7

No OP’s shower wasn’t a problem. But there was another adult there who was ignoring her by the sound of it. I can’t imagine sitting downstairs watching tv and my kid going to get all the cookies and eating them and not noticing or saying what are you doing, and then letting my kid take themselves up to bed, but each to their own.

I disagree with those saying that it doesn’t matter; she is being extremely selfish and needs to learn that rules are there for a reason. If you don’t teach her now what will be next, money, the car, siblings’ possessions? It’s the thin end of the wedge and isn’t amusing.

Why not. You can explain it nicely so she understands it's selfish and greedy.

The junk food is the problem. It's not necessarily greed and it's not necessarily emotional eating either. The kind of food the DD binges is literally designed to promote overeating. They have that highly sweet/salty taste that hits the reward centre in the brain and makes it more difficult to exercise restraint in consuming it. The soft melt in the mouth texture of UPF based snack foods also means they don't take much chewing or provide volume (unlike foods such as fruit, vegetables, wholegrains, etc) and the brain doesn't register how much you've eaten.

People who are not as susceptible to the effects of these foods don't quite get how difficult it can be for those who are. It's not just about willpower. These foods are designed to override your willpower so you eat more and therefore buy more than you need.

Mine love sweets too (not fussed about chocolate), but after the initial excitement of having a few haribo, they lose interest and move on. If they take a pack of sweets to cinema with a friend it will always come back at least 2 thirds full.

Sounds like you may be better having portion sized options, like packs of mini cookies - then it's clear to know when have had a portion

No, v slim, maybe could do with putting a tiny bit on

Then she may just need more calories, bigger portions etc

I don't think it is about irresistability of the food though, it's about boundaries. Even if you find it irresistable to eat biscuits which are in your own house, which, TBF, same - although I don't generally struggle with diet, I would and have finished off entire packs of biscuits, chocolate, haribo etc before even when I wanted to save some for another day. But nobody goes into a supermarket and starts eating all the biscuits on the shelf (though it might be hard to resist buying a pack) and nobody roots through cupboards when they are visiting someone in order to find and eat their biscuits. And for example if I really wanted chocolate but I had already eaten my half I wouldn't finish it and leave none for DH (without asking him first or if I was really desperate, intending to replace it). So adults, at least, are able to respect boundaries about who food belongs to even if they find it difficult to stop when the food belongs to them.

At 7, this should be something that the vast majority of children are aware of and can do. Obviously different families have different rules about whether children are allowed to help themselves to unlimited food vs should limit themselves to a reasonable portion vs need to ask first, but OP states that the biscuits had been put away for another day, and in fact hidden, so it ought to be clear that they are now off-limits.

However OP seems confused about whether or not this is something that her DD at 7 should be expected to be able to stick to, so I wonder if she has not been especially clear about the boundary in the past or her DD sees the hiding as a sort of game.

Why not tell them it is greedy and selfish behaviour?

I think personally I'd go with inconsiderate/selfish over greedy - greedy seems like an overly shaming, negative concept and after all there is nothing wrong with enjoying more of something as long as you aren't taking from somebody else or causing damage etc.

This thread says everything about modern parenting and not in a good way

Firstly OP is being made out as some sort of control freak because she doesnt let her daughter let loose with the chocs and biscuits and obviously her daughter is now disordered

Secondly the berating of OP and her husband because the child 'wasnt supervised' or 'was left to her own devices'

This is a 7 year old!!! Presuming she has free rein around the house and isnt helicoptered in every room, do parents walk side by side with their kids to the living room, to the kitchen, to the loo, to their bedroom, back down through the hallway, back to the living room? Of course she was 'unsupervised', she doesnt need supervising in her own home!

I think the problem is that you say you can't leave things out or she will take them. She is 7, she should be given rules, such as you only have one slice of birthday cake a day as it is not a healthy food and won't give you the correct energy. However you want to phrase that. But you should not have to hide or lock away food from her for her to not eat it.

Another time, hide them more successfully!

I rarely buy biscuits, because TBH I only really like a couple of varieties, so when I do buy them, I will typically scoff the lot within 24 hours. Or even within 12.
So I certainly couldn’t get cross with a 7 year old biscuit-scoffer.

Because it’s cruel, mean and feels like a shit way to speak to a child.
I’d be more inclined to explain that they were for everyone to share but people now won’t be able to have a share because she’s had them all and I’d ask her how she thinks they feel about that and also how she would feel about it.
Particularly the word greedy is an inappropriate word to use about food/eating. It induces shame and guilt that’s then associated for her with food and eating. Shame and guilt around food = a future poor relationship with food.
There are better ways to deal with the situation rather than “selfish and greedy”.
Just for clarity, I’m an older woman and battle daily with a damaged relationship with food due to how food was treated and spoken about throughout my childhood. I’m getting to grips with it but I still have my moments so it’s something that needs to be dealt with carefully and sensitively.

No I wouldn't be happy about this and at 7 she is hardly a 'small child'. At 7 you understand what it is to be selfish. I feel all the posters minimising this have no self control themselves. We buy maybe one two packs of biscuits at the weekend at it gets shared out equally between all of us. I would be really dissappointed if my 8 year old did this as he knows better.

I would just say that wasn’t a good idea and please don’t do it again.

Hahaha! Good on her! I used to hide biscuits in the pockets of my dressing gown at her age!

Agree with all of this. The responses on here are insane!

'I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day.'

Another one agreeing here. I strongly doubt whether the people responding would really be as casual about this as they claim to be.

I’d be livid - that’s food for the whole family which she has taken so nobody else can have any.

Livid, angry, there's a lot of angry parents around these days, all for a child eating the remainder of a packet of biccies. Wow!

Were there many left? If she scoffed the lot and didn't leave any for anyone else I'd be peeved.

Children are allowed to make mistakes are they not? Why would you say people who are being reasonable, understanding that children are still learning about control and permission must have no control over food themselves?

Quite the leap.

Then it's maybe dopamine seeking, does she have difficulty with screen time? or other things that are maybe regulating her? Does she self soothe in any other way that you might know of?
I used to have to have complete quiet time after school to decompress, which my family thought weird, but after a day masking It was very necessary, I didn't know I was trying to regulate and calm my brain at the time, same as I didn't know why I would try to eat a whole packet of biscuits, I would also go to the other extreme and not eat, because I liked the feeling of hunger too.